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Contributor
xaiduz114
Posts: 344
Registered: ‎05-05-2014
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Can I convince him to care for his credit again??

A little background: I'm 24. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, and we're about to have our second son together. I have a daughter from a prior relationship as well. He has been the sole working parent since our first son was born 2/2013, and I have been the home-maker. We have been renting the same apartment for a little over 2 years now, and doing mostly ok since I quit working. He's gotten a few loans to make ends meet, and all have been paid without going delinquent or late, or going to collections. However, because of a financial slump late last year, he used his only credit card (Discover It) more like a loan and maxed it. I just found out that it went to collections last month (about 700), and I KNOW that hurt his scores. They were sitting around 720 before, but I'm guessing it's maybe mid-600's now or even lower. I'm not sure, I have to pressure him to check. As for myself, I've never had loans, CCs, or anything like that, but because of an emergency medical stay back in 2008 and a few other un-covered bills, I have 9 medical collections, 7 with EQ and 2 with TU. The SOL should fall off for four of them this July, and the others are less than 400 each at the moment so I'll tackle them as I can. My current scores are roughly 540 with TU, 478 with EQ, and Thin file with EX.

 

But I do not have income, other than the child support I receive for my daughter ($148/mo, but most times less). I plan on gathering up what little income I have, opening a new bank account, and trying to get a secured card to pay for little things each month and pay off the balance each month, opening a new secured card after 3 months and doing the same thing, then continually building up my credit from there. During that process I'll be attempting to send PFD letters to my smaller, more recent medical CAs one or two at a time, and Validation letters in August to the CAs that will fall outside my state's SOL in July.

 

But my boyfriend, even after all the years he spent building up his credit, he seems to not care so much right now, and that worries me. He knows my credit is awful, and that I want to build it up. I have spoken with him a few times of his collections, and nothing has been done yet, but I will continue to point him in that direction.

 

I have my situation figured out, but I want to help him. What should we do about getting his credit back in order? I don't want him to have an outrageous CC collections because he chose to ignore it, since we plan on trying to get a house within the next year or two. What should HIS actions be though? Should he send a PFD to Discover for 50% the 700? Or is another course of action preferred? We don't have the money to pay it in full. Another idea I had was to possibly add him as an AU on a secured card if I get it, in an attempt to try and rebuild in the mean time. Would that even be a good idea?

 

Thanks in advance to any advice/help! Sorry it is a bit lengthy. :smileysad:

Starting Score: EQ 478 | EX N/A | TU 540 - 5/2014
Current Score: EQ 475 | EX 582 | TU 589
Goal Score: 700 by 5/2015 - My Credit Rebuilding Journey!
Collections (MED): DCS Financial (4) | Columbia Collectors (1) |
Dynamic Collectors, Inc (2) | Professional Credit Services (2) |
CMRE Financial Services (1) | Total: 10
Charge-offs: IQCU (1)
Cards I'm aiming to get:
Unitus Community CU SecuredBofA Secured
Frequent Contributor
youdontkillmoney
Posts: 382
Registered: ‎04-03-2014
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Re: Can I convince him to care for his credit again??

Good credit is necessary for your and his and your children's future. Drive this point in with him. You have start now to prepare the groundwork for a better furture for this family. That is the message. Now, what happened that made him not care about his credit when he used to. That's the question.

Regular Contributor
navistar
Posts: 186
Registered: ‎03-08-2014
0

Re: Can I convince him to care for his credit again??

sounds like you guys are slowly sinking. you could get a job and stop having kids?

MyFico Equifax - 691
MyFico Experian - 692
Barclay Transunion - 682 (Last Updated 03/21/14)

Citi Diamond Preferred - $2,300 / Citi Platinum Select AAdvantage - $5,600 / Barclay - $4,600 / GE Care Credit - $1,000
Current Utilization - 52% / AAoA - 6yrs
Contributor
xaiduz114
Posts: 344
Registered: ‎05-05-2014
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Re: Can I convince him to care for his credit again??

: I'm not sure what made him stop caring. That's something I'd have to think on. I think he wants to care, but it's just not happening. :/

 

: Thanks for the input, however I don't appreciate the negativity.

Starting Score: EQ 478 | EX N/A | TU 540 - 5/2014
Current Score: EQ 475 | EX 582 | TU 589
Goal Score: 700 by 5/2015 - My Credit Rebuilding Journey!
Collections (MED): DCS Financial (4) | Columbia Collectors (1) |
Dynamic Collectors, Inc (2) | Professional Credit Services (2) |
CMRE Financial Services (1) | Total: 10
Charge-offs: IQCU (1)
Cards I'm aiming to get:
Unitus Community CU SecuredBofA Secured
Moderator
Shogun
Posts: 12,952
Registered: ‎04-15-2011
0

Re: Can I convince him to care for his credit again??

Let's play nicely.

 

Seems like he's going through quicksand.  When things start getting bad, just sink.  I'm glad that you do care, and that is a good decision for you and  your family.  Someone needs to step up and fix this.

 

Who pays the bills?  If he is the one who's paying, see if you can get him on here and get a vine thrown at him to drag him back out of this.

 

Congrats on your upcoming bundle of joy.  


Starting Score: 504

July 2013 score: EQ FICO 819, TU08 778, EX "806 lender pull 07/26/2013
Goal Score: All Scores 760+, Newest goal 800+

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Current scores after adding $81K in CLs and 2 new cars since July 2013
EQ:809 TU 777 EX 790 Now it's just garden time!
Contributor
xaiduz114
Posts: 344
Registered: ‎05-05-2014
0

Re: Can I convince him to care for his credit again??


Shogun wrote:

Let's play nicely.

 

Seems like he's going through quicksand.  When things start getting bad, just sink.  I'm glad that you do care, and that is a good decision for you and  your family.  Someone needs to step up and fix this.

 

Who pays the bills?  If he is the one who's paying, see if you can get him on here and get a vine thrown at him to drag him back out of this.

 

Congrats on your upcoming bundle of joy.  


Thank you very much. :smileyhappy: Unfortunately, he's not the type to be on a computer very often. He doens't like technology very much. He pays the bills with his income, but I'm always doing the paymetns online for him because of this. I might be able to show him this site if I can find some topics for him to read that may help the situation. At least, that's my hope!

Starting Score: EQ 478 | EX N/A | TU 540 - 5/2014
Current Score: EQ 475 | EX 582 | TU 589
Goal Score: 700 by 5/2015 - My Credit Rebuilding Journey!
Collections (MED): DCS Financial (4) | Columbia Collectors (1) |
Dynamic Collectors, Inc (2) | Professional Credit Services (2) |
CMRE Financial Services (1) | Total: 10
Charge-offs: IQCU (1)
Cards I'm aiming to get:
Unitus Community CU SecuredBofA Secured
Regular Contributor
navistar
Posts: 186
Registered: ‎03-08-2014
0

Re: Can I convince him to care for his credit again??

[ Edited ]

there was no negativity. you guys are sinking slowly into debt. He probably feels a little overwhelmed being the only income for a large family. I know i did. Why cant you work?

 

i had a wife just like you. kid from another father, 2 kids from me. Horrible credit history and never worked but liked to tell me how to manage my income. Even when we had the opportunity to have a very cheap baby sitter she has excuses for not working. I promise you, a job will help the family. Even if you only have a 50-100 dollars a week left over after daycare. Get a job. Men say they want a stay at home mom until money gets tight and then they resent it.

MyFico Equifax - 691
MyFico Experian - 692
Barclay Transunion - 682 (Last Updated 03/21/14)

Citi Diamond Preferred - $2,300 / Citi Platinum Select AAdvantage - $5,600 / Barclay - $4,600 / GE Care Credit - $1,000
Current Utilization - 52% / AAoA - 6yrs
Regular Contributor
navistar
Posts: 186
Registered: ‎03-08-2014
0

Re: Can I convince him to care for his credit again??

[ Edited ]

what im trying to say is a marriage is about being a team. Not a player and a coach. Yes he has built of debt but you also brought debt into the marriage (stepdaughter) that he gladly took on. He will be much more susceptible to criticism if you are on the court earning money and not on the sideline coaching.

MyFico Equifax - 691
MyFico Experian - 692
Barclay Transunion - 682 (Last Updated 03/21/14)

Citi Diamond Preferred - $2,300 / Citi Platinum Select AAdvantage - $5,600 / Barclay - $4,600 / GE Care Credit - $1,000
Current Utilization - 52% / AAoA - 6yrs
Moderator
Revelate
Posts: 8,968
Registered: ‎12-30-2011
0

Re: Can I convince him to care for his credit again??


navistar wrote:

there was no negativity. you guys are sinking slowly into debt. He probably feels a little overwhelmed being the only income for a large family. I know i did. Why cant you work?

 

i had a wife just like you. kid from another father, 2 kids from me. Horrible credit history and never worked but liked to tell me how to manage my income. Even when we had the opportunity to have a very cheap baby sitter she has excuses for not working. I promise you, a job will help the family. Even if you only have a 50-100 dollars a week left over after daycare. Get a job. Men say they want a stay at home mom until money gets tight and then they resent it.


FWIW I agree with the OP's comments as how I read it, and now we're sliding towards ad hominem attacks.  I know we only know the world as presented to us; however, stating that the OP is in some way the same as your ex-wire who you are emotionally compromised on, doesn't lead to posts which are as constructive as they could be.

 

To reiterate Shogun's suggestion to everyone: play nicely.

 

--Revelate, myFICO moderator

 

 

Starting Score: EQ 561, TU 567, EX 599* (12/30/11, EX lender pull 12/29/11)
Current Score: EQ 04 673, EQ 8 707, TU 720, EX 702* (09/02/14, EX older)
Goal Score: 700 on EQ '04 (01/01/15)


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Regular Contributor
navistar
Posts: 186
Registered: ‎03-08-2014
0

Re: Can I convince him to care for his credit again??

ok. another way to put it. be the change you want to see in someone else. get a job, be responsible, help him with his debt and then you can say shape up or ship out.

MyFico Equifax - 691
MyFico Experian - 692
Barclay Transunion - 682 (Last Updated 03/21/14)

Citi Diamond Preferred - $2,300 / Citi Platinum Select AAdvantage - $5,600 / Barclay - $4,600 / GE Care Credit - $1,000
Current Utilization - 52% / AAoA - 6yrs

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