Hey everyone, I was hoping you could give me some guidance into a situation that has been developing over the past couple of weeks. My boyfriend, quite simply, isn't exactly financially savvy. His credit card through BoA was maxed out, but he paid it off recently and he just got another credit card, the Wells Fargo healthcare card to pay for an eye surgery that his insurance wouldn't cover. Since the surgery was more cosmetic in nature, I asked if he needed it immediately since he already has a lot of debt. He conceded that he didn't but went ahead with it anyways. So now he has the balance on WF, a lease on a new-ish Hyundai, his rent, and his undergraduate student loans.
Here's the kicker: he doesn't have a job. He attends law school and he doesn't really have time to work during the semester. He's on full scholarship and receives a stipend of $3,000 per semester, but that isn't enough. He mentioned getting more credit cards with 0% promos and a personal loan to help with living expenses, but I think that's a terrible idea. His parents help him out with money, but they aren't going to float him forever. I'm just worried he's in over his head. I don't doubt his intelligence, I just think he doesn't understand the risk if he can't make the payments.
We don't live together and our finances are separate, but he wants to move in together. I won't do it unless we figure this out, but he says everything is fine. How should I approach this going forward?
To note, I don't pay any of his debts for him since I can't work my budget to allow that. He never asks me for money, so we don't have those fights, which is nice. I'm just concerned that things could go south quickly.
@Anonymous-own-fico wrote:Financial education alone won’t do it. Spending money is just a symptom. I see little mention of you two having anything in common. What would happen if you said goodbye?
We do have a few things in common, but for the most part we are pretty different. As cliched as it sounds, I like that about our relationship because we see things in different perspectives and we've had the opportunity to try each other's interests. He's a big part of my support system and I try to be a big part of his too. Don't get me wrong, I love him and things are going well minus this issue.
If I left, I'd be pretty upset and he would be too. I don't know many people here at school or in the city besides some other students in the engineering department, but I wouldn't consider them friends. I think it would be hard emotionally to do that because I don't really have anyone I can fall back on. Friends and family are out of state.
He may have the same thought most do, if I dont pay, what are they really going to do?
Not many people care about credit until they need it =/ You cant really educacte someone on something they care little for. I dont think there is much you can do except try once in awhile to go over his finances with him and figure out how its all going to get paid. (so he can see it wont be forever)
To me it sounds like him wanting to move in is more of a financial reason. (you said he cant afford how hes living now)
If its for financial reasons keep it at that, he could move in, just keep EVERYTHING seperate money wise dont co sign or buddy up on leases. (since you could end up screwed) and be sure to get most of his stipend when he gets it for his portion of rent/bills.
If its not for financial reasons and your relationship is moving forward and you think it can go somewhere, its probably time to accept he cant manage his money well and just accept his faults, work with what you have and move forward in your relationship.
Id just keep things as they are. (dating, living seperate, theres no need to change it) If its going to work its going to work, you can move in together at anytime later down the road. Theres no reason to do it now.
If he presses the issue, hes probably realized hes not able to afford how he lives and knows eventually wont have anywhere to go. I dont know your situation but id just be worried if he moved in your relationship will end up south over finances. (hes short on bills this month, but you help him pay grudgingly because they are your bills too and HAVE to get paid)
Im tired 
Late at work and I ramble, to sum up I would just keep things as they are and see how they are later down the road. Move in together when things are right, not because its convenient at the time. Theres nothing you can do to make a person change or realize they need to change, they have to figure it out =/
Good luck.
Thank you for the suggestion. I appreciate your advice.
@Anonymous wrote:i would not share accounts nor live together until he gets his finanace education on check!
It's a moot point now since we've broken up a week ago. It turns out that in addition to being awful at finances, he was cheating on me too. Oh well, at least it wasn't messy with living arrangements or finances.
Thank you all for the advice regardless. I appreciate it.