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@kwinks wrote:Like how they will buy me really nice gifts or always go to the fanciest restaurants andebut the most expensive drinks, and I just think to myself this guy is in debt what in the world is he doing buying things like this.
I completely agree that would be a BAD sign. A terrible sign.
If the guy said, "Hey, I messed up my credit, but I'm working hard on it. Until I get things fixed, I can offer you only walks on the beach and home-cooked dinners," you'd probably have a real prize.
But a guy who's got terrible credit and still wants to play big spender? I'd run, too.
Someone please make a sticky when it becomes possible to get through mortgage underwiting on love.
What's wrong with judging based on a credit score?
As long as that is not the SOLE factor for which you are disregarding a person, I see no difference to it.
In fact, if we used more criteria to judge potential mates, our divorce rate wouldn't be so high. There's nothing wrong with being choosy.
But if anyone asked me what my credit score was on the first date, that's an automatic disqualifier. You might as well ask me my views on religion, politics, and abortion while you're at it and run the full gauntlet.
Follow my financial journey: http://www.frugalrican.com
Well the way I see it is this. If someone is not responsible with there own credit then what makes you think they will be responsible with yours??
I understand things happen like divorce, identity theft and just plain bad luck but if a person is just clueless about there credit that should tell you something. It doesnt make them a bad person and luckily bad credit can be fixed with time if the person is willing to fix it.
@Gunnar419 wrote:
@kwinks wrote:Like how they will buy me really nice gifts or always go to the fanciest restaurants andebut the most expensive drinks, and I just think to myself this guy is in debt what in the world is he doing buying things like this.
I completely agree that would be a BAD sign. A terrible sign.
If the guy said, "Hey, I messed up my credit, but I'm working hard on it. Until I get things fixed, I can offer you only walks on the beach and home-cooked dinners," you'd probably have a real prize.
But a guy who's got terrible credit and still wants to play big spender? I'd run, too.
+1 It means he'll likely never get his act together.
@Shogun wrote:I've seen websites for dating. Cougars, christians, even farmers, etc. Guess I could be a moderator on a new dating site.
myFICO matchup. A place for people to meet their financial mates!
hmm,, might have something there.
Lmao!!!
This entire thread really makes me laugh...
I guess since Im old it really didnt have much bearing in our time. Most woman did not work, and majority of households had limited credit. Most things were purchased in cash. Most houses were small and kids doubled and tripled up in bedrooms, unless you were considered very well off. Men worked and woman budgeted for the most part. They always found a way to make things work with the income they had. Divorce while existed, was not a common thing, parents struggled and just dealt with things for the sake of their children (which I never agreed with).
In todays society to many base relationships on looks still, and then on whats in it for them. Some will base it first on whats in it for them and then on looks. But serious folks it will always take two to make a relationship work. Looks will fade, and your financial picture will either improve, stay the same, or get worse. It is how you deal with these issues that will make or break a relationship.
I guess our generation plays a big part of how your generation perceives things now. We had our struggles and always wanted better for our kids. We saved and spent to offer you a little better way of life if it was possible. Sometimes it just isnt possible to assist financially, but your opportunities offered today for assistance were not available back in our time.
Our daughter had this way of thinking for several years, granted she was spoiled as we have become financially able to provide things for our kids, that many are not able to offer their kids. But thank goodness our ways of trying to show her the realities of life finally hit home. Now her outlook is a little different, and we are proud of her achievements and progress for a change in her attitude towards finding a partner.
Financially all 4 of our kids will have a better way of life because of what we have built up, and will eventually be theirs. But that doesnt mean when someone is dating them they should look at their credit profile. My kids have an advantage of mom and dad who can afford to assist and make those lives easier. What will happen, and how they will handle and do things after we are no longer here, only time will know.
Looks, credit, debt, health, and other things, while it can play a part in how much work is needed to make a relationship work, it should never be a reason to impact a decision of they are not for you. I know you will all slam me, but if you base your decisions on these things, does that mean as soon as one of these things happens you are going to walk away from the relationship?
You date a gorgeous, sexy woman, or a handsome, nice butt man... have an accident and over night looks change, do you dump them? Divorce them?
You date a woman or man with a 800 credit score... some emergency happens and have to pay an outrageous medical bill and credit drops cause they cant afford the bill, do you dump them? Divorce them?
You date a healthy gorgeous, sexy woman, or handsome man... then one day in a normal check up they find out they have cancer, do you dump them? divorce them?
I guess the shallow ones who feel they are perfect, would actually run for the hills.
True love will always come from within, and is very hard to find. Money cant buy love, it can only buy a little easier way of life for some, and some will never have enough.
Time to actually wake up and smell the roses, life will never be perfect.
It can only be as perfect as you make it to be, whether it is on your own or with a partner.
Either way I personally wish you all to find exactly what you wish for, just no crying after you get that wish and doesnt turn out to be what you expected.
I don't think that a FICO score should be the end all/be all. However, based on what the OP has posted, it seems that this was someone that she had just started dating. A fella telling you that most of his credit cards are maxed out and he can't get a new one is a huge red flag.All the while he is trying to wine and dine her with money he doesn't have. It would send me running for the hills because clearly this fellla is digging a hole for himself and he doesn't seem to get it yet. He may never get it.
It would be foolish not to consider someones ways of financial managment, considering the fact that more than half of marriages end in divorce. With finances being a major contributing factor. Someone that PIF before the due date would probably not be a good match for someone that maxs out every last ounce of credit available and only pays the minimum.
I guess I'll just throw it out there, how many of the folks suggesting that credit score / reports aren't important, would actually consider dating someone with a 240K unresolved tax lien on their report? This wouldn't send you running the other way knowing that whatever property you purchased while it was active would get the lien attached to it? American dream of home ownership out the window day 1?
Just saying, there are blemishes on someone's credit report which likely make them unsuitable as potential partners. While I fully agree that relationships are a challenge regardess, and it's about how you address said challenge(s) togther, the simple fact remains that one's prior history can at times predict future behavior... and other times it's just a boat anchor waiting to happen.
Financial security not only for the partnership, but for raising children, almost has to be considered in this day and age... and a credit report is a large part of that.