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Regular Contributor
fittiger
Posts: 217
Registered: ‎02-20-2013
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....


Revelate wrote:

I guess I'll just throw it out there, how many of the folks suggesting that credit score / reports aren't important, would actually consider dating someone with a 240K unresolved tax lien on their report?  This wouldn't send you running the other way knowing that whatever property you purchased while it was active would get the lien attached to it?  American dream of home ownership out the window day 1?

 

Just saying, there are blemishes on someone's credit report which likely make them unsuitable as potential partners.  While I fully agree that relationships are a challenge regardess, and it's about how you address said challenge(s) togther, the simple fact remains that one's prior history can at times predict future behavior... and other times it's just a boat anchor waiting to happen.

 

Financial security not only for the partnership, but for raising children, almost has to be considered in this day and age... and a credit report is a large part of that.

 

 

This is so hypocritical coming from someone with poor past scores in their signature.  Are you unworthy of someone dating you since you had scores in the 500's less than 2 yrs ago, current scores in the 600's with only a goal of 680.  I can only assume you must be afflicted with some shady personality or financial defect.  Should you be dumped for whatever happend in your past?  

 

The problem with judging someone on credit scores is a lot can change in a very short amount of time.  People with poor habits come around and see how they need to change their ways, hardships happen and scores drop dramatically.

 

Credit scores are overly conservative risk factors for lending institutions to judge whether they will lose money.  They are not meant to judge your date by.  Judge them by their current actions and factors that play into those decisions.

 

 

 

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TurtleShell
Posts: 3
Registered: ‎03-14-2013
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....

I agree with fittiger. Everyone carries some sort of baggage. It's far more important to get to know a person's financial personality than it is to know their credit score. Also keep in mind, credit scores are based on your credit history. Just because you have a high score doesn't mean you're guaranteed from having financial problems. I have excellent credit, but significant mortgage debt. We all look for certain things in a partner, but focusing on credit scores and debts at the onset is losing the forest for the trees.

Frankly, I consider my finances to be very personal. I wouldn't tell someone I had just met my credit scores just as I wouldn't tell them my savings or retirement account balances. I certainly wouldn't require that info from someone I had recently met either.

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Revelate
Posts: 8,891
Registered: ‎12-30-2011
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....

[ Edited ]

fittiger wrote:

Revelate wrote:

I guess I'll just throw it out there, how many of the folks suggesting that credit score / reports aren't important, would actually consider dating someone with a 240K unresolved tax lien on their report?  This wouldn't send you running the other way knowing that whatever property you purchased while it was active would get the lien attached to it?  American dream of home ownership out the window day 1?

 

Just saying, there are blemishes on someone's credit report which likely make them unsuitable as potential partners.  While I fully agree that relationships are a challenge regardess, and it's about how you address said challenge(s) togther, the simple fact remains that one's prior history can at times predict future behavior... and other times it's just a boat anchor waiting to happen.

 

Financial security not only for the partnership, but for raising children, almost has to be considered in this day and age... and a credit report is a large part of that.

 

 

This is so hypocritical coming from someone with poor past scores in their signature.  Are you unworthy of someone dating you since you had scores in the 500's less than 2 yrs ago, current scores in the 600's with only a goal of 680.  I can only assume you must be afflicted with some shady personality or financial defect.  Should you be dumped for whatever happend in your past?  

 

The problem with judging someone on credit scores is a lot can change in a very short amount of time.  People with poor habits come around and see how they need to change their ways, hardships happen and scores drop dramatically.

 

Credit scores are overly conservative risk factors for lending institutions to judge whether they will lose money.  They are not meant to judge your date by.  Judge them by their current actions and factors that play into those decisions.

 

 

 


That's an interesting assumption to make, and I would suggest a poor one.

 

I'll skip responding (well mostly) to the ad hominem attack; however, I'll point out that the main supporting argument was whether you or anyone else would wish to be saddled with a massive tax lien in this example.  It's not hypocritical at all, given I have such a tax lien, and am sitting on the dating sidelines while it's being resolved.

 

Someone pointed out earlier that there's a difference between someone who is down in the credit dumpster, vs. someone who is rebuilding, and I fully agree with that assessment.  I would also suggest that the average reader here after a certain amount of time, can read a credit report with the same alacrity as the majority of underwriters.  It's patently obvious whether someone has exhibited a pattern of poor choices, or has come into hardship, or similar.

 

Virtually every relationship blog / advice / etc, suggests that mutually shared financial outlook is a key factor for success in a long term relationship.  It also costs an incredible amount to own a house or raise children; if it's obvious that we're not going to be able to do those two things based on issues in either of our credit reports (mine and the theoretical chica's) that relationship is a non-stater from my perspective, and probably would be for anyone who I would happen to be interested in as well.

 

I stated before, if I'm dating someone who wants to see my credit report, "which bureau?" will be my response and I'll go get it.  I admit my mistakes, and if I get dumped as a result of report or the ensuing conversation, so be it.  Then again, I'm not a hypocrit, and much like talking to an analyst or underwriter, I'd recommend having a good story.

 

Honestly though, people who don't care about your SO's finances, what else don't you care about?  Public records?  You don't Google a date at some point?  Take for example a convicted murderer out on parole would not cause you to shy away?  If you agree that's a problem, and that's a instance of a prior issue, now we're just debating as to where to draw the line.

 

 

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Mister_Wonderful
Posts: 23
Registered: ‎03-17-2013
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....

LOL


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Regular Contributor
SSPA87
Posts: 110
Registered: ‎02-15-2013
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....

I will start by saying that actually frequent the Rebuilding Credit forum because that is exactly what I am doing... 

 

IMHO, I think this is ridiculous in ways.  I think this is where CIRCUMSTANCES come into play.  Is the credit bad because they just  can't handle money?  Hold down a job?  Or is it from medical issues?  An ex?

 

My credit was ruined by an ex that I was with for 3 1/2 years.  He was a manipulator and a compulsive liar.  He ran up all my credit cards with the promises to pay them off but never did.  He wouldn't allow me to have a job at the time, and once I got a job, everything was already charged off & I had a lot of medical bills from my pregnancy that couldn't be paid because I was the only one working and he was stealing my money... and what he wasn't using on his own, I was trying to keep a roof over our heads and have gas to get to work as well as scrounge up change to buy dollar menu food so we could eat.  Was I smart?  No.  But "love" is blind... I didn't realize how bad the relationship was until I got out of it (3 1/2 years, dropped out of college, bad credit, & a daughter later, I finally got up the courage to leave)

 

I am now in a position where I can rebuild my credit and am working hard at it - but still have a long way to go.  Does this mean that I shouldn't be able to snag a decent guy? That just doesn't seem very fair and I would hope that if someone asked about my credit, that they would allow me to explain my situation before they just wrote me off. 


However, if the bad credit is from simply being stupid with credit or not holding jobs, that could be red flags for other things in life.  It really is all circumstance based if you ask me...

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Croselx
Posts: 138
Registered: ‎07-31-2012
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....

Credit report (not score) is part of the money talk before actually commiting to a serious relationship. You want to know the financial habits of your SO (among other things) and a credit report will provide a general picture. Of course, factors such as age (credit begins as something not so important at 18 and slowly evolves into needed by late 20s), medical expenses, accidents, etc.. come into play so it won't be a "oh, you have low 500s credit, I don't date people with that low of a score, sorry.'

 

Someone with nearly maxed CCs, not enough income to pay them off and STILL charging said CCs on unnecessary items is a big turn off. It screams bad financial management. This is not a 100% deal breaker (for me at least), but the other person has to start getting their finances in order before the relationship can progress into something serious. (I would only help with advice). Some people don't want to babysit others (or have done so in the past, possibly wasting their time) with things that should be common sense and that is perfectly fine.

 

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Contributor
meesh6036
Posts: 81
Registered: ‎07-16-2011
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....


kwinks wrote:

also, I got really worried when he saw the check and then looked in his wallet, like trying to remember which card would be most likely to cover the bill. I offered to pay because he genuinely looked worried :/ 



Maybe he was optimizing his rewards?

 

But seriously, I hesitate frequently. I have a few checking accounts for different purposes and the cards look similar.


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TxPeaches
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎04-08-2013
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....

I think people should be able to put what ever constraints they wish on a relationship.  There are only two people in the relationship, and since i am not one of them I have no business trying to make someone feel guilty for their wants/needs/desires.

 

My credit is very poor.  Not because I have a bunch of no pays, but because I just do not use it.  I never understood it.  I bought my first home at 20 and the bank made me close out store credit cards before they would approve the loan.  So I got use to having one credit card.  I paid that home off, a 30 year mortgage, in 12 years.  I keep my cars on average 10 years.  But my 401K, money marking, and savings accounts add up to more than I care to say.

 

Obviously I am not credit savvy and to tell the truth, I think my brain would check out if a date started talking about credit cards, limts, rewards, etc.  It's just not my bag.  And while I have never disqualified someone based on credit cards, I think if I dated someone who opened a wallet full of cards I would loose interest.  It doesn't mean I think of them negatively, it just means we are not compatible.  We have different priorities.

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Clarke_Thomas
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎08-02-2013
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....

[ Edited ]

I think asking for credit score on your first date can set off things at a wrong foot. I just imagine somebody asking me about my scores would definitely turn me off. But there's a flip side to it. Credit scores in most cases tell how a person manages his finances, and this is surely something we all want to know about our future partners. I just feel that people should not blow this out of context. But this trend is anyways picking up. According to cnn money, nearly 20% men and 30% women say they won't marry someone with a poor credit score, a new survey finds. You can find the article here: http://money.cnn.com/2013/07/24/pf/credit-score-dating/index.html?sr=fb072413creditscoredating10p

 

Contributor
fezwhy
Posts: 86
Registered: ‎07-28-2013
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Re: Credit Score and Dating....

Someone who isn't responsible with money wont even get a 2nd date. However if they are working on on improving their credit that is fine by me. I have a son that looks up to me. Bad credit and doesn't care about it is a deal breaker for me.

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