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doc101
Posts: 189
Registered: ‎11-27-2011
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Re: Dating someone with some serious financial issues

Have been in your situation before and I know its love that keeps you there, but if he does not care about his own financial situation, then you shouldn't either. It will be really hard  for you guys to take your relationship to the next step until he decides to get his financial house in order.......


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roqiin_tkdk
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎12-15-2012
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Re: Dating someone with some serious financial issues

[ Edited ]

Hi Everyone,

 

I currently am in the same position.  I have been with my significant other for 4.5 years and nothing has gotten better.  I feel unhappy and that nothing will change and everyone else around me is saying the same, that I need to find someone in life at my exact same level.

 

I am thinking of breaking up with him soon... because I know I can't live this way forever.  I have been paying 100% for everything.  I loved him a lot in the beginning but his lack of motivation has made me think otherwise.


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cjane1
Posts: 53
Registered: ‎09-03-2009
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Re: Dating someone with some serious financial issues

Don't marry him. Sorry to say but you think it is bad now, it will get worse when you get married because he will have your money to spend too.  When me and my husband went to counseling, we were told that one of the top  reasons people get divorced is because of money. You get married all his problems will become yours too. My Aunt married a guy that owed back taxes and they took taxes returns and wages to pay back money he had before they even got married.

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CS800
Posts: 6,552
Registered: ‎04-07-2008
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Re: Dating someone with some serious financial issues

I have been in similar situations where I have dated women with serious financial issues. As much as i'm more about the person than their credit profile, it does make me nervous.

 

My credit suffered years ago when I was not credit savy and had lots of lates. But with the knowledge I gained, I was able to bring my scores back and clean it up. When I hear that the woman I'm dating has a lot of loans and a lot of them with many lates, I would say it makes me very nervous. People have their own situations and I'm not one to point finger or judge; I had horrible credit once.

 

I guess I just protect myself and as much as I would like to help them straighten things out, sometimes it's too much effort. You will have to decide for yourself whether you're willing to take on that 'burden'.

 

As a side note, all the women I knew with big credit problems were and are very nice people just with some bad luck and ill informed about credit. Some just don't want to do anything about it.

 

Just my 2 cents




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sparkle1908
Posts: 9
Registered: ‎07-04-2013
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Re: Dating someone with some serious financial issues

Very good topic and a lot of interesting advice...I don't have anything to offer that is "new" but I am currently working on my own credit so that I won't be the subject of future topics such as this....:smileyhappy:


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student-of-credit
Posts: 24
Registered: ‎09-27-2007
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Re: Dating someone with some serious financial issues


kmkotas wrote:

My boyfriend currently has a judgement filed against him from his visa card that has been charged off since 2011. He was sued last year and they began garnishing his wages. He has since switched jobs and the garnishment has not caught up to him yet. I am always reminding him to call the collection agency and try to get a settlement worked out. He makes over $65,000 a year and has nothing to show for it. He spends his money on stupid things instead of taking care of his responsibilies. I find myself getting more and more irritated with him as the days go on. He is 27 and acts like a child. I am smart enough to know that this probably will not change but I really do love the guy and I guess I am just looking to see if anyone else can relate?


I suggest you avoid marriage to this person. You can "have fun" with him, as long as his problems are not your problems. My brother married such a person. When they separated, he had to live in poverty to fix the mess she created on their credit (he deferred to her, as far as managing the money).
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RickyRay
Posts: 42
Registered: ‎04-29-2013
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Re: Dating someone with some serious financial issues

GOOD CREDIT IS SEXY!!!!LOL!!  BAD CREDIT SUCKS!!!


student-of-credit wrote:

kmkotas wrote:

My boyfriend currently has a judgement filed against him from his visa card that has been charged off since 2011. He was sued last year and they began garnishing his wages. He has since switched jobs and the garnishment has not caught up to him yet. I am always reminding him to call the collection agency and try to get a settlement worked out. He makes over $65,000 a year and has nothing to show for it. He spends his money on stupid things instead of taking care of his responsibilies. I find myself getting more and more irritated with him as the days go on. He is 27 and acts like a child. I am smart enough to know that this probably will not change but I really do love the guy and I guess I am just looking to see if anyone else can relate?


I suggest you avoid marriage to this person. You can "have fun" with him, as long as his problems are not your problems. My brother married such a person. When they separated, he had to live in poverty to fix the mess she created on their credit (he deferred to her, as far as managing the money).

 

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Oorah
Posts: 26
Registered: ‎02-28-2012
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Re: Dating someone with some serious financial issues

The best advice I can give you is end this ASAP. My ex was like this and he made $60k per year I paid all the bills with my income so they were paid on time. He got worse year after year. He is now 56, moved out of state and lives with mommy who is an enabler. iF he cares about you he will become more responsible when you set yourself free of him. If you stay with him he has no reason to change his behavior.

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sgtm7
Posts: 56
Registered: ‎05-23-2008
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Re: Dating someone with some serious financial issues

People can change.  I was never in the situation where bills weren't paid, or that household/family neccessities weren't taken care of.  However, I was 75K in debt with a annual income of about 80K.  That is not including mortgage.   I filed Chapter 13 BR in 2005.   Since then, I have become totally debt free (including mortgage), I have about 110K in cash and investments.  I don't finance anything.  If I want a car, I pay cash for a used one.   If I use a credit card, I pay it off right after I charge it.  That way there is no finance charge or monthly payments.

 

Now granted, I was no where near the irresponsible behavior of the OP's spouse.  However, I was married to someone like that.  I think it can work, IF the irresponsible person will allow you to take control of the finances.   Have an account that is for bills, one for savings, one for her spending money, and one for his spending money.   If the financially irresponsible spouse will agree to this, then it can definitely work out in the long run.   Everyone has faults, the key to a successful relationship is making it work despite those faults.  
JMHO


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