I will start off by saying, I AM A WOMAN!
This 'GIRL' you are dating has no concept of what it is to be a responisble adult.
My Fiance' has given me full access to ALL of his credit cards. I NEVER use any of them, NOT because I am forbidden, but because I have my own money and I know how to manage it.
If I cannot afford it, I do not buy it, PERIOD!!! I do WITHOUT!!!
'WE' my Fiance' and I are on a mission.
We have goals, we clearly understand what we BOTH want in life and what it will take to get us there.
Finances are a huge part of our relationship.
At this point if this 'GIRL' has not proven to get her stuff together, YOU will not be helping her, she needs to help herself.
Getting a loan will only give her a crutch, and you are that crutch 'IF' you try to save her.
@bdhu2001 wrote:
@hapagrrl wrote:Hey, Dw -- OMG!! "you let me live for free and paid for everythingfor me, so now you gotta keep paying me .." to what? Breathe? Good LORD. Some people have GALL. Hate to tell ya, but it sounds like you were dating a cr*ck smoker, lol!
Well, my indignation aside, congrats on going with your gut and doing what's right for you -- and saving yourself from years of misery.
@Revelate - I think I don't know how we could recognize these kinds of folks.. Except to say that Fico should seriously consider branching out and creating a dating version of the forums/a dating site. Think about it - most of us have our scores in our siggies, so - no secret there. And we are honest about our situation, and if it's not great (ahem), then we here ask for advice on achieving our goals, getting good scores or maintaining good scores or you know, going on app sprees, lol. Anyway, everything is pretty much up front: where we are now, the lessons we've learned from past mistakes, what our goals are, etc. The downside is, I'm guessing it won't take long for it to go downhill real quick (some people just HAVE to make things icky) -- the moderators would definitely have their jobs cut out for them -- but.. seems like if it could be "kept clean," it'd be a good option to explore..?
Doesn't have to be a dating section. In the Relationship section someone starts a thread or group for Singles with scores of 760 or better, 650- 750; under 640. It works in Fitness forums, it'll probably be fine too.
I suspect the vast majority of people on this forum don't base their opinion of someone else's post quality on the poster's FICO score; if that is indeed the case, I find it hard to think that singles threads based on scores would gain much traction from many people.
End of the day finances are more important than FICO scoring, and I know personally even if I were dating someone with an 850 FICO, if they were shopping with both hands... it'd be awfully hard to have a sanguine relationship. I'd much rather date someone who had the same opinions as me as to what's financially important, and even if they had a sub 600 FICO score that isn't a deal breaker if they're willing to work on it. Credit scores can be fixed or outright obviated in a non-trivial number of relationships: spending habits are a lot harder to curb. End of the day I'd rather have a roof over our head and food on the table and our theoretical kids in a non-suck school district than pristine credit when it comes down to it, even if a quality credit score makes all those things much easier assuming you don't have enough money to simply not worry about such things.
@SayHey wrote:Wow. I have looked in on this thread from time to time for quite a while. I am wholly 'impressed' by the request for payment, and happy for the OP to be done, and hopefully moving in a better direction. Also, shout-out to Revelate for successful use of "sanguine", "obviated" and "non-suck school district" all in the same post. That is some range!
