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Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,712
Registered: ‎01-05-2010
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Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?


capitalkid wrote:

 

We dont have any animals, why?  Because they are a financial liability.  even one, if you are a good caregiver, has lots of ongoing expenses that need to be done to maintain the animal in good health.  It is a commitment.  In the future we are going to add a Maine Coon into our family, but thats when we have our ducks in a row.   


 

I don't see myself picking up someone else's poop for the rest of my life. Smiley Wink

 

Never underestimate the power of denial
Contributor
Posts: 95
Registered: ‎02-20-2011

Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?

WOW. Just: WOW.

 

What a post! And all the crazy stories by everyone!

 

Well - I'm gonna add the opposite kind of story. I WISH someone - anyone - has EVER let me live rent-free so that I could catch up/get my financial act together. I've lived on my own since I was 17 - and have always worked to support myself. I didn't always do a great job, and there some really huge tumbles along the way. I screwed up  royally and spent many many years setting myself straight. I'd always lived on a tight budget - and still do, only now the difference is I know why, what my goal s are, what's important to me. At no point did I receive help from anyone for anything. I studied my Suze Orman, I opened and paid bills as they came, I rehabbed student loans, I gw'd what I could, I kept paying everything even when I was unemployed for a year - even 2 liens from the IRS!!  moved across the country to take a job I wasn't into in a place I didnt like; I haven't had a vacation in 5 years, I do my own mani/pedis, cut my own hair, cook my own food,  dont wear designer clothes or bags and always budget clothing and make-up, etc (you know- girly expenses) but am known to be a well-coiffed, well-dressed woman, btw; don't go out, dont go to gyms (hikes with my dog in redwood forests is free!), I got rid of my iphone for a $60 smart phone and switched to a $45/mo pay-as-you-go phone plan; and i NEVER buy coffee or smoothies, lol. I live on a budget and pay my bills: and I am happy.

 

I am now looking at homes/applying for a mortgage in a bat-sh#t crazy seller's market, where folks are offering $100-$400k above asking (which is already well over actual worth of homes). And guess what my *mortgage broker* called me? CONSERVATIVE!! Imagine! LOL! Yep - and I'm proud of that. I have to be. I'm a single-income household: it's just me out here - and no one has ever helped me or given me anything, ever.

 

 

 


Starting Score: 490 (FAKO)
2011 Scores: TU 635, EQ 637, EX/FAKO 538

2012 score:EQ 675

2014 (mortgage broker pull): TU 670, EQ 669, EX 674




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Member
Posts: 30
Registered: ‎01-29-2009

Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?

So I read this post today and it was odd because about 80% of it could have been my situation... except I was the girl.

 

I say 80% because things never got nasty and if asked, I would have always had enough to pay the rent or go out and live on my own and pay my own rent (in fact I did this for a time... our relationship was rocky for other issues not related to money).

 

But there was a time where I was given a similar opportunity by a boyfriend (living rent free so I could focus on paying off some student loans) and I did not feel at the time he was entitled to a full picture of my finances (it was embarassing and not something I wanted to cop to... )   At first, I didn't use the "extra" money to pay off debt.  I certianly didn't get in MORE debt (another way I am different from the original poster), but I ended up spending my extra money on other things and procrastinated what I needed to do.

 

Reading this post helps me realize how the my boyfriend might have felt or could have felt at the time.  That he was being this great guy by giving me an oppotunity to better my financial situation and that it was hurtful for me to squander it.

 

Now things are different.  I recently got a couple of GREAT FINANCIAL THINGS (got a small amount of money from an inheritance, changed jobs which drastically changed my income/expense ratio, and I finally cashed out an old 403b which was definitely not growing as fast as the debt was that I used it to pay off)   Now I am doing a much better job at taking advantage of the not paying rent and using that money to pay off my remaining debt.

 

I will go home and thank him for being patient and tell him how helpful he has been.

 

12/23/14 - Experian Score of 640
2/4/15 - Transunion Score of 671
5/07/15 Transunion Score of 725
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,053
Registered: ‎03-04-2013

Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?

[ Edited ]

Hi everyone-

 

I just realized I never updated what finally happened with me and my girlfriend.  Well to the shock of probably no one, we ended up calling it quits.  As I had posted earlier in the thread, we both had some family and personal crises come up over the spring and summer (family illnesses, dog, etc.)  It seemed like one thing after another.  I decided at the time to put a pin in my doubts about the relationship and hope that maybe things would get better.

 

Well...fast forward to just before the holidays, I was out of town for a conference.  As she was driving me to the airport, she mumbled something about wanting to change her car "at some point".  No specifics beyond that. I did not pay it much mind because a) I knew she did not have the money  and b) she had a perfectly functioning car (2010 model) with low miles.

 

I was in the middle of dinner at the conference when my phone dings.  I opened up the message from her and...it's picture her posing in front of a BRAND NEW SUV she just leased!!!

 

I was floored! The same girl who could not afford rent, utilities, or anything else around the house; is neck deep in student loans and credit card loans...just bought a brand new, off the showroom floor truck?!?!  Apparently the dealership gave her a "good deal" on her trade in (which she still owed money on) and the payment was "only" $100/month more than she was paying.  To this day I'm not quite sure how she qualified for the financing, but whatever...she obviously had it planned all along and waited until I was out of town to pull the trigger.

 

Anyway the instant I saw the photo, I decided the relationship was over.  The week after I got home, I told her I was done and she had 60 days to move out.  She was shocked.  I told her I felt used and was tired of being a sucker. Of course she was disappointed and deeply hurt I would ever think such a thing...lol.

 

There were many tears and promises of change.  She even wanted us to go to therapy. But the truck thing put me over the edge,,,I was done, done, done. She finally moved out (to a friends house) at the beginning of February.  

 

Valued Member
Posts: 28
Registered: ‎05-04-2014

Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?

Congrats brother. Never doubt that it was the right call.

Starting Score: EQ 586 April 2014
Current Score: 718 (EQ - MyFICO) 704 (TU - MyFICO) 701 (EX - Experian)
Goal Score: 725


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Community Leader
Super Contributor
Posts: 6,865
Registered: ‎03-06-2010

Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?

^^^Wow.  You did the right thing by ending it. There is no question that she had the blinders on for her finances or was putting money away the entire time and not telling you about it. You have saved yourself a lifetime of heartache and financial turmoil. OP, you were right to listen to your 'spidey senses'.

Community Leader
Senior Contributor
Posts: 7,741
Registered: ‎10-07-2014

Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?

Some story.  I know how hard it is to end a relationship like that but you did the right thing.  I wish I was as smart 20 years ago but instead I end up married to the same type of woman.  Didn't take long for disaster to strike and I went thru foreclosure, repo, tax lien, divorce and you name it.  Took me until just recently to completely recover.

 

I wish you well in the future.

EX, EQ, TU=802,806,816
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,053
Registered: ‎03-04-2013

Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?

Thx everyone. I will admit is was REALLY tough. She's a great woman in many other ways. But in the end it came down to we had much different values. And trust...I just couldn't marry someone I felt I could not turn my back (or wallet) to for fear they may undermine me or our mutual financial situation.

As Irish said, it would have ended in disaster, financial and otherwise
Established Contributor
Posts: 849
Registered: ‎06-08-2013

Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?

Holy crap, and i thought my relationship with my ex was messed up. I mean it was emotionally, but financially yours is much worse. Glad to hear that your suffering is over!

Starting Score: (1/15)TU: 715 EX: 690 EQ: 711
Current Score: (5/15) TU: 690 EX: 669 EQ: 682
Goal Score: (7/18) 800+ for all three bureaus

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Member
Posts: 30
Registered: ‎01-29-2009

Re: Did myFICO ruin my relationship?

Yikes... that is messed up.

 

I don't understand why people do these things.  Why... when someone else is paying for your room and board, would you go out and get a new vehicle?  I would have taken the bus before doing that!

12/23/14 - Experian Score of 640
2/4/15 - Transunion Score of 671
5/07/15 Transunion Score of 725
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