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singleindependentmom
Posts: 86
Registered: ‎10-09-2013
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Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

hi Everyone,

 

After a 1 1/2 yr seperation from my Ex I finally filed for divorce yesterday.  I'm trying to rebuild my life, I had to hire a private investigator to locate him and serve him the divorce paperwork.  March 1st of 2012 was the last time I was in contact with him.  After that date he changed his number, moved, changed jobs and none of his family will respond to my messages. 

 

History


We had a construction business for 5 years, and when the economy went down we had to close shop. My family helped start the business and came up with over 30K so we wouldnt have to take out any loans.  Our business was doing very well, and since I had good credit and was trying to be supportive we took out 2 car loans and a few credit cards for the shop.  I was making payments on time and everything was going good.

 

When we had to close shop, I got 3 jobs to keep up with all the bills and keep food on the table.. my ex got extemely depressed and didnt even try to find a job.  after a year of this I started getting sick. so finally I left him.  Before I left him, he had just started a job so that was a relief to me that he had income.  I helped him get an apartment, and even bought him a paid car for like 1500.  I didnt want to leave him with the other cars we had loans out for because I thought he would just not pay the bills.  My mom ended up taking one of my cars and was making that monthly payment.

 

after a year seperated I had to give both cars back to the finance companies.. I just couldnt keep up with the 800$ payment and a 500$ payment just for cars!  I had to make sure me and my daughter had a roof over our heads.  

 

the past few months I recieved a 12.5% raise from work and a nice bonus.  I moved closer to my job since headquarters moved an hour away from where I was living.  This was going to help me save on gas and other expenses for wear and tear on my car.

 

I'm now trying to fix my score up and so I can buy my first house.

 

Is it possible for the judge to make my ex pay for part of the credit card debt even if they are just in my name?  The 2 cars that I had to give back were joint loans and there's about 8K we have to pay back after they sold the cars.  Can the judge make him be responsilble to pay that amount back and then I can take them off my reports?  They are listed as Charge Off's on my report.

 

I was hoping people here could give me advise on how to fix my credit while dealing with this divorce.

 

Thanks for reading my post! :smileyhappy:

 

 


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Revelate
Posts: 9,735
Registered: ‎12-30-2011
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Re: Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

I am by no means an expert on divorce and AFAIK it depends greatly on what state you are in.

 

At least in some places the judge and the creditors have discretion as to who winds up with the debt and how much; however, from your description if this does happen and the creditors get a vote, you may wind up with the lionshare as by reading your post, I suspect they'll assume the same looking at the two of you that you are the more fiscally responsible one and more likely to make them whole over time.

 

For the rest regarding charge offs and other derogatories on your credit report, take a look through the Rebuilding Your Credit forum, and ask questions there on how to address specific issues such as the Charge Offs.

 

Regardless, I greatly applaud you for taking the steps required to rebuild your life!

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Startome
Posts: 399
Registered: ‎08-21-2013
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Re: Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

You've done very well up to this point. You stepped up and did what was neccessary to make things happen. I haven't been there so I can't effectively give you advice, but I want to say you're off to a good start.

Current: EQ FICO 0, TU FICO 0, EX FICO 0 | Starting Score: 0 (08/21/2013)

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New Contributor
singleindependentmom
Posts: 86
Registered: ‎10-09-2013
0

Re: Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

Thank you guys for responding! I am trying to do the right thing and take back control of my life.

I kinda figure I may get stuck with the debt, and I'm ok with it. It's a lesson learned.

I live in California and I'm just crossing my fingers that some sort of relief will come my way.

I think if the judge does say that my ex has to pay something, he will just ignore it all and go back into hiding.

Overall finishing the part of my life and moving on in a positive way is my ultimate goal.

Im reading the other boards and I'm very thankful everyone here on this site is here. I'm learning a lot!

Thank you guys sooo much!

Starting Score: Experian 514 Equifax 510 TransUnion 510
Current Score: Experian 630 and everything still In Progress
Goal Score: First Goal 650


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Contributor
RnJ
Posts: 180
Registered: ‎08-18-2012
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Re: Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

Don't know if you're still reading, but if you are, your best bet is getting an attorney and possibly asking for alimony.  I don't know what CA divorce laws are, but if alimony (or maintenance) is allowed, this could help you in those payment struggles - your attorney can help you with what the divorce judge may allow.  Also not knowing what occured during the time you seperated, if he had financial responsibilities on some of those bills, he could be possibly held liable on the joint accounts, and his absence and failure to communicate that might not look favorable to the judge.  In any case, you can probably get a free consult with an attorney and get most of your questions answered before you commit to an attorney's service.

 

And, kudos to you for having the strength to get yourself and your daughter through this difficult time!

New Contributor
singleindependentmom
Posts: 86
Registered: ‎10-09-2013
0

Re: Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

Thank you! I am requesting for Alimony.. I'm just nervous it may back fire and if I make more than I have to pay him.  I'm putting together all my debts and what I make to submit to the judge... I'm thinking I will pay down the debt as I want to buy the house, and then if he has to pay that will just pad my bank account.  I'm trying to buy my house by time the divorce is complete.  I have a court date for April 21st, 2014... I'm crossing my fingers everything works out in my favor.

 

 


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Valued Contributor
GregB
Posts: 1,669
Registered: ‎05-24-2007
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Re: Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

It is great that you are working on cleaning up your credit and working on your divorce but a reality check is in order. The sad truth is that you will not be buying a house for quite some time for a variety of reasons. That should not prevent you from working on your credit but you may want to look at the big picture and change your plan accordingly.

 

First, you will not get a home loan IN CALIFORNIA without your husbands permission and without him qualifying on the loan. Even if you BOTH have the required credit score for you to buy a house in your name, they will still require a notarized letter from him giving you permission to buy a house.This is part of the problem with a divorce in a community property state.

 

Second, most lenders will have issues with one person buying a house after filing for divorce but you can work around that with strong credit. The easiest way is with a co-borrower that has strong credit like someone from your family. Even so, trying to buy a house during this period will put you in a poor position while you negotiate the terms of your divorce. Even if you successfully manage to jump through all the hoops, you would probably be foolish to try. He could simply fail to pay his attorney and that attorney could force you to sell YOUR house so that he could get paid. Putting someone else on the house and loan would help to make that difficult but if there are no other community assets to sell, that attorney can still force the sale of that house. Even if he wasn't successful, you legal costs to prevent it could be staggering.

 

This is a complete minefield of disasters waiting to happen that you can't imagine. I strongly suggest you not make any major changes in your life without consulting a lawyer. It only works out well when BOTH parties are responsible. If you are responsible and he is not, you may get to pay for him.

 

 

New Contributor
singleindependentmom
Posts: 86
Registered: ‎10-09-2013
0

Re: Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

[ Edited ]

GregB wrote:

It is great that you are working on cleaning up your credit and working on your divorce but a reality check is in order. The sad truth is that you will not be buying a house for quite some time for a variety of reasons. That should not prevent you from working on your credit but you may want to look at the big picture and change your plan accordingly.

 

First, you will not get a home loan IN CALIFORNIA without your husbands permission and without him qualifying on the loan. Even if you BOTH have the required credit score for you to buy a house in your name, they will still require a notarized letter from him giving you permission to buy a house.This is part of the problem with a divorce in a community property state.

 

Second, most lenders will have issues with one person buying a house after filing for divorce but you can work around that with strong credit. The easiest way is with a co-borrower that has strong credit like someone from your family. Even so, trying to buy a house during this period will put you in a poor position while you negotiate the terms of your divorce. Even if you successfully manage to jump through all the hoops, you would probably be foolish to try. He could simply fail to pay his attorney and that attorney could force you to sell YOUR house so that he could get paid. Putting someone else on the house and loan would help to make that difficult but if there are no other community assets to sell, that attorney can still force the sale of that house. Even if he wasn't successful, you legal costs to prevent it could be staggering.

 

This is a complete minefield of disasters waiting to happen that you can't imagine. I strongly suggest you not make any major changes in your life without consulting a lawyer. It only works out well when BOTH parties are responsible. If you are responsible and he is not, you may get to pay for him.

 

 


Thanks Greg... actually.. my divorce is now finalized (was finalized earlier than april since I didnt pursue anything) so I don't need my ex for anything... I've already paid off 90% of our community debt and will finish up the remainder debt in the next few months. We both did not use an attorney since we wanted a clean divorce with no ties... luckly after I found him with the private investigator he understood I just want a clean closure....I didn't ask for spousal support as I make a good amount with my job..  When we finalized the divorce with the court it's stated that he can not ask for anything and I will not ask for anything in the future. 

As for the mortgage loan... I already have a mortgage lender that has approved me for a home... I just have a few items to clean up to get a better rate, and I was given the amount I qualify for. 

 

 


Starting Score: Experian 514 Equifax 510 TransUnion 510
Current Score: Experian 630 and everything still In Progress
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Valued Contributor
GregB
Posts: 1,669
Registered: ‎05-24-2007
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Re: Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

Glad to hear it worked out. I understood from your posts that you hadn't even brought him to court yet and he was not cooperative at all. Asset/debt division, spousal support, and child support take a long time when either spouse is not cooperative or reasonable. If you both agree, then the court is thrilled to be done with you. If you have a Judgement of Dissolution, you can proceed as a single person.

 

I hope you didn't agree to too much and it all works out. After things settle down, you can still pursue child support as that can never be finalized in a divorce in CA.

New Member
misstmitchell
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎12-26-2013
0

Re: Divorce + Missing Ex + Debt = Time to Rebuild Life

 

 


Thanks Greg... actually.. my divorce is now finalized (was finalized earlier than april since I didnt pursue anything) so I don't need my ex for anything... I've already paid off 90% of our community debt and will finish up the remainder debt in the next few months. We both did not use an attorney since we wanted a clean divorce with no ties... luckly after I found him with the private investigator he understood I just want a clean closure....I didn't ask for spousal support as I make a good amount with my job..  When we finalized the divorce with the court it's stated that he can not ask for anything and I will not ask for anything in the future. 

As for the mortgage loan... I already have a mortgage lender that has approved me for a home... I just have a few items to clean up to get a better rate, and I was given the amount I qualify for. 

 

 


With acredit score below 620, how were you able to get approved for a mortgage?


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