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New Member
pk8183
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎07-31-2007
0

Divorce & CC's

I am in the starting points of a divorce where it seems like I am getting screwed (I will spare the details)

 

Long story short, my STBE is getting almost $5000 a month from me in spousal and child support, and yet I am stuck paying the CC bills each month for what she has charged up in the 18 months prior to her filing (approx $30K).  I am struggling to pay her each month, pay for my own living expenses, and then pay debt service on the CC's...I am thinking about just stopping paying the CC bills and let them go to collection and charge off because I can not afford all the expense...I know this will ruin my credit for a long time, but I am curious if I try and go buy a house in 4 years when her supot payments are over, if I would even stand a chance to get a loan....

 

TIA!

Moderator Emeritus
ByrdMan
Posts: 7,975
Registered: ‎12-19-2007
0

Re: Divorce & CC's

Hey PK, sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, I am not sure anyone can tell you that you what the possibilities will be in four years from now. If they can, I need a private consultation with them to figure out what stocks and commodities to invest in. The economic climate is hazy at best and in four years? **shrugs shoulders**

What does the remainder of your CR look like? What are your current scores?
___________________________________________________________________
Do what is true in spite of the consequences--your future is only as true as you are.
Regular Contributor
tonnie39
Posts: 141
Registered: ‎09-06-2008
0

Re: Divorce & CC's

I don't know if you will be able to get a loan either but I would like to make a suggestion regarding your CC debt and your pending divorce. Please ask your attorney to put a "holds harmless' clause in your divorce decree. I want to stress that this clause does not keep the CCC from coming after you if/when your wife defaults. What it will do is give you grounds for litigation against her. My final decree of divorce will be entered in a few weeks and I know that this clause can be added because I have one regarding a 2004 Mitsubishi Eclispe. Please think long and hard before defaulting on the CC because if the judge who hears your case is as hard-nosed as the judge who heard my case, the least of your problems will be the CCC.

 

Either way, I wish you the very best in this difficult situation. 

New Visitor
rebapablo
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎03-02-2010
0

Re: Divorce & CC's

I am in the same situation. What I have learned, is that you can work out good deals with CCC because of the financial climate. Call your CCC, ask for a settlement: You will pay 20% of the balance over three payments, they report that you have payed as agreed. The other option is to ask to be put on a hardship program (divorce/two households) they will then bring your interest rate down to around 5-6%, and lower you payment dramatically (i.e. current payment $400 - new payment $117.00) I was over 130K in debt......
Valued Contributor
GregB
Posts: 1,670
Registered: ‎05-24-2007
0

Re: Divorce & CC's

I feel your pain and am sorry for your situation.

 

It is very normal for both people in a divorce to feel like they are getting screwed and the other is making out much better than they are. Going from one household to two and wasting all the money on fees makes it very difficult for each person to feel like they have received their fair share.

 

Laws about debt before Date of Separation will vay by state. However, it is likely that "what she has charged up in the 18 months prior to her filing (approx $30K)" is BOTH your debt since it will likely be determined to be prior to separation. You probably feel that she knew that a divorce was coming so she spent excessively. This might very likely be true, particularly since she filed. Unless there was some big event that might move Date of Separation before the date she filed, that debt is likely to be Community. THIS VARIES A LOT BY STATE. You should get the section of code that defines DOS for your state and review it unless your attorney has already talked to you about this. Even if you have a good case to make DOS before her charges, it is unlikely worth arguing about for $30K, as sad as that is. At least any personal property in those expenses will go to her in the Property Settlement.

 

If there is a court order for Temporary Support for $5,000 per month, it is likely that the $30,000 in "her" debt that you are paying will seem fairly small by the time you are done.

 

Regular Contributor
recoverychick
Posts: 113
Registered: ‎10-21-2007
0

Re: Divorce & CC's

I agree with rebapablo.  Contact the credit card companies and they will work with you.  If you're feeling as though your STBE has given you a raw deal, you don't want to add insult to injury by giving yourself a raw deal, too.  Most of your feelings now are emotional (expected) but try as hard as you can to be rational with your finances and use sound and reasonable judgment.  You'll be the better for it in the long run. 

 

Here's a little story ( I don't begin to equate it yours) that may help.

 

During the preliminary separation order before the first court appearance, I was sending the entire 2200.00 per month mortgage payment to my ex to pay the mortgage.  All the utilities, etc. were taken automatically from my checking account even though I didn't live there.  I had to move back in with my folks during that time, because I couldn't afford 2 households (another story).  One Saturday morning, I went to the door and was served with foreclosure papers.  He never paid the mortgage.  Earlier that week, he had also called and said the housekeeper hadn't come and I needed to call her.  When I told him he could pay the housekeeper if he wanted her to come, he had the nerve to get angry.  I later learned he had bought a new custom set of golf clubs and took several golf trips (among other sprees) during those first several months after being served.

 

There's more to the story, but to my point, the mortgage company didn't list the lates or the foreclosure on my credit report although they were listed on his (don't know how it happened, but it did). 

 

Take the high road.  Karma is real:smileyhappy:.  Good luck and God bless. 

Regular Contributor
recoverychick
Posts: 113
Registered: ‎10-21-2007
0

Re: Divorce & CC's

 

Oops. Need to clarify.  The house wasn't;t foreclosed.  He did catch up the lates, but they never showed up for me even though the mortgage was held jointly.

 

Sorry.

Established Member
tidbit
Posts: 19
Registered: ‎09-16-2007
0

Re: Divorce & CC's

I can say this..  my husband was screwed such as you are during his last divorce. He had to pay over 5k per mth in spousal/child support while still paying ALL the credit cards and both vehicle payments - cc's over 40k. And on top of that, she didn't pay the house payments with the spousal support (which she was ordered to do) so she just pocketed that money and got away with it. Anyway..  he couldn't pay, the cc's went into default/collections/charge off's etc. After the divorce was final in 05, he called and settled with them but didn't know about getting them to agree to report it as "paid" with the CB's. They are still listing on his report but should drop off next year. 

 

In 07 we bought a 300k house. We were making around 60K together at the time and had no other debts other than the car loan. So it is possible that you can get a loan - but there is no guarantee. The best option is do like the others said and to call the cc companies to work out something.

Mega Contributor
RobertEG
Posts: 17,456
Registered: ‎03-19-2007
0

Re: Divorce & CC's

IMHO, you have only two legally sound o[tions.

Either close the account today.

Or enter into a signed, notarized marital separation agreement that clearly specifies further obligations.

You dont have to just accept past obligations if you can agree to terms into a legal separation agreement.

I know that divorce lawyers are expensive, but get wht you pay for.

 

 

Senior Contributor
O6
Posts: 3,626
Registered: ‎10-13-2009
0

Re: Divorce & CC's


pk8183 wrote:

I am in the starting points of a divorce where it seems like I am getting screwed (I will spare the details)

 

Long story short, my STBE is getting almost $5000 a month from me in spousal and child support, and yet I am stuck paying the CC bills each month for what she has charged up in the 18 months prior to her filing (approx $30K).  I am struggling to pay her each month, pay for my own living expenses, and then pay debt service on the CC's...I am thinking about just stopping paying the CC bills and let them go to collection and charge off because I can not afford all the expense...I know this will ruin my credit for a long time, but I am curious if I try and go buy a house in 4 years when her supot payments are over, if I would even stand a chance to get a loan....

 

TIA!


$5k per month for spousal and child support seems excessive.  Has this been court-ordered?

 

Unfortunately, what you really need as soon as possible is a good divorce lawyer.  If the spousal and child support is court ordered, defaulting on your credit card debt could cause you multiple problems in the future.  If your creditor sues you and can garnish your wages or bank account(s), that could cause you to default on your support payments and the outcome of defaulting on support payments is far more serious than defaulting on other types of debt. 

 

Again, get a good divorce attorney and see how this situation can be adjusted. 

IAALBNYL

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