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Valued Contributor
ivyalmighty
Posts: 1,451
Registered: ‎03-19-2008
0

Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?

[ Edited ]

**IMPORTANT NOTE -- WE ARE STILL LEGALLY MARRIED. SEPARATED FOR 3YRS, BUT DIVORCED HAS NOT COMPLETED.**

When my STB-ex & I separated 3yrs ago, it was decided that he would bear responsibility 4 the $20k in credit cards we had together - as he makes 7 times what I do. He consolidated the balances on the two cards, onto a third card in his own name, and he said  (he may have even believed) that he also completely closed the two prior joint credit cards as well.

I never gave it another thought. I opened up one credit card in my own name, and have nurtured it for the past two years.

I have kept credit monitoring, but never even looked in the "credit card" section, because I knew what I had and always made timely payments. I only kept an eye on the collections section ... (I have a daughter who was ill for the past few years, first with Lyme disease, and then a year of illness before also being diagnosed with Crohns Disease, so it has been a very trying time, and with doctors in three states involved, tracking and paying all the bills has been stressful, and sometimes we miss one - or maybe they donn't even send a bill?? til it ends up in collections.)

 

This past year, my ex  remembered or realized he had access to $20k in credit lines, and ran up the entire amount in 3 months time from April-Jun. Then, he didn't make payments on them.

 

I have been getting ready to purchase a home 4 the #1 time, and that is how I learned about this. The credit monitoring service I use, I never looked under the cc section b4, bc I knew I only had one little card in my own name, and always made payments. When planning w the lender we intend to use, she looked at the whole report and asked me about the maxed out cards, and missed payments in July-Aug-Sep. Whaaaaaattt??! So he not only ran up $20k in 3mo, he then didn't make any payments. 

 

He'd already told me last month he's going **bleep** in cc debt.
 

He's destroyed his credit and my own, in about six months time.

 

I have not lived in the same state as him, never seen a statement, never accessed the account, since Mar 2010. I didn't even know about it. They all went to his house, in his state. The charges are clearly all his (including a $10K pmt to the IRS 4 his unpaid taxes - paying taxes on a cc, the epitome of irresponsibility), and he is willing to say so, to whomever needs to hear it, were that to help save my credit. if that would even make a difference, since I was joint regardless, AND we are still technically married.

 

Is there ANY way I can be absolved 4 responsibility 4 what he's done????

 

Do I have ANY other option, other than filing bankruptcy myself???

New Contributor
heathuhhhhwebbbb
Posts: 163
Registered: ‎10-18-2012
0

Re: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?


ivyalmighty wrote:

When my STB-ex & I separated 3yrs ago, it was decided that he would bear responsibility **bleep** he may have believed) that he also completely closed the two prior credit cards as well.

I never gave it another thought. I opened up one credit card in my own name, and have nurtured it for the past two years.

I have kept credit monitoring, but never even looked in the "credit card" section, because I knew what I had and always made timely payments. I only kept an eye on the collections section ... (I have a daughter who was ill for the past few years, first with Lyme disease, and then a year of illness before also being diagnosed with Crohns Disease, so it has been a very trying time, and with doctors in three states involved, tracking and paying all the bills has been stressful, and sometimes we miss one - or maybe they donn't even send a bill?? til it ends up in collections.)

 

This past year, my ex **bleep** in credit lines, in 3 months time from April-Jun. Then, he didn't make payments on them.

 

I have been getting ready to purchase my **bleep** and already screwing up royally by not making payments.
 

He's also **bleep**, he's undone mine for my credit.

 

I **bleep** if that would even make a difference, since I was joint regardless.

 

I know that, if I am responsible for this debt (cards had a 0 balance until April of this year, when he did all this), the creditor will come after me even if he files bankruptcy. Also, his bankruptcy on these cards will show on MY credit report.

 

Do I have ANY other option, other than filing bankruptcy myself???


All the bleeps make it difficult to read your story.  From what I got from it, your ex opened 3 cc's after you were separated?  Is this correct?

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Creditaddict
Posts: 19,702
Registered: ‎10-23-2007
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Re: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?

You had 3 joint accounts that he was to pay but you all did not go in and close the 3 accounts and now recently this year ran them up and then stopped payments?

If he **bleep** you are not juts auth.?

So yes if he **bleep** for you!

but if he is currently not paying and you just now got info? credit monitoring hadn't been updating you of missed payments?

If you could bring them current and CLOSE THEM!!! and try to **bleep** to paying.

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Valued Contributor
Jutz
Posts: 1,216
Registered: ‎05-10-2012
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TRe: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?

This is like crappy Mad Libs.  I read it as he used the existing joint cards that should have been closed irresponsibly, ran them up, then didn't pay them, but I could be wrong.  Maybe he got increases in CL and didn't pay them?

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heathuhhhhwebbbb
Posts: 163
Registered: ‎10-18-2012
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Re: TRe: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?


Jutz wrote:

This is like crappy Mad Libs.  I read it as he used the existing joint cards that should have been closed irresponsibly, ran them up, then didn't pay them, but I could be wrong.  Maybe he got increases in CL and didn't pay them?


HAHAHA!  It is. 

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Valued Contributor
ivyalmighty
Posts: 1,451
Registered: ‎03-19-2008
0

Re: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?

What is up with all the bleeps?? I have entire sentences and most of paragraphs that got bleeped out???? I have gone back and edited, I read the posts about eff being a dirty LETTER. what the heck...

Established Contributor
distantarray
Posts: 2,112
Registered: ‎09-25-2011
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Re: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?


Creditaddict wrote:

You had 3 joint accounts that he was to pay but you all did not go in and close the 3 accounts and now recently this year ran them up and then stopped payments?

If he **bleep** you are not juts auth.?

So yes if he **bleep** for you!

but if he is currently not paying and you just now got info? credit monitoring hadn't been updating you of missed payments?

If you could bring them current and CLOSE THEM!!! and try to **bleep** to paying.


***bleep*** haha but anyways if it's in a joint name it's technically the OP's fault for not closing out the account and not making sure. Regardless it's best to try to set a resolution with the credit card company. Try explaining your situation to the credit card companies if they could close the account in good standng if you bring it to current. it's a long shot but as best as you can do.


total credit limits $108,400 Credit scores Ex 728 EQ 738 TU 758
New Contributor
heathuhhhhwebbbb
Posts: 163
Registered: ‎10-18-2012
0

Re: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?


ivyalmighty wrote:

**IMPORTANT NOTE -- WE ARE STILL LEGALLY MARRIED. SEPARATED FOR 3YRS, BUT DIVORCED HAS NOT COMPLETED.**

When my STB-ex & I separated 3yrs ago, it was decided that he would bear responsibility 4 the $20k in credit cards we had together - as he makes 7 times what I do. He consolidated the balances on the two cards, onto a third card in his own name, and he said  (he may have even believed) that he also completely closed the two prior joint credit cards as well.

I never gave it another thought. I opened up one credit card in my own name, and have nurtured it for the past two years.

I have kept credit monitoring, but never even looked in the "credit card" section, because I knew what I had and always made timely payments. I only kept an eye on the collections section ... (I have a daughter who was ill for the past few years, first with Lyme disease, and then a year of illness before also being diagnosed with Crohns Disease, so it has been a very trying time, and with doctors in three states involved, tracking and paying all the bills has been stressful, and sometimes we miss one - or maybe they donn't even send a bill?? til it ends up in collections.)

 

This past year, my ex  remembered or realized he had access to $20k in credit lines, and ran up the entire amount in 3 months time from April-Jun. Then, he didn't make payments on them.  

 

I have been getting ready to purchase a home 4 the #1 time, and that is how I learned about this. The credit monitoring service I use, I never looked under the cc section b4, bc I knew I only had one little card in my own name, and always made payments. When planning w the lender we intend to use, she looked at the whole report and asked me about the maxed out cards, and missed payments in July-Aug-Sep. Whaaaaaattt??! So he not only ran up $20k in 3mo, he then didn't make any payments.  Where were the bills for these cc's being sent to?

 

He'd already told me last month he's going **bleep** in cc debt.
 

He's destroyed his credit and my own, in about six months time.

 

I have not lived in the same state as him, never seen a statement, never accessed the account, since Mar 2010. I didn't even know about it. They all went to his house, in his state. The charges are clearly all his (including a $10K pmt to the IRS 4 his unpaid taxes - paying taxes on a cc, the epitome of irresponsibility), and he is willing to say so, to whomever needs to hear it, were that to help save my credit. if that would even make a difference, since I was joint regardless, AND we are still technically married.

 

Is there ANY way I can be absolved 4 responsibility 4 what he's done????

 

Do I have ANY other option, other than filing bankruptcy myself???


TBH, I think if you're "separated" and can prove it was before all the charges, you could possibly fight them.  But I could be wrong.  I know that it would be hard though considering its a joint account.  I'm still an AU on two of my ex husbands credit cards, but he is REALLY a stickler for his credit score, so I don't have to worry about his accounts ever going in the negative or becoming too high on UT%. 

But being an AU isn't really the same as being on a joint account.

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Valued Contributor
ivyalmighty
Posts: 1,451
Registered: ‎03-19-2008
0

Re: TRe: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?

Jutz is right. We had two joint cards totaling $20K. He paid them to zero as we agreed, but did not close them. Then this yr, he lost his shriveled mind, and blew through the entire $20k in credit, in 3 months. And is now in paperwork 4 bankruptcy.

 

Paying them, with maxed-out balances, is not an option 4 me. Not in my entire living yrs, even. I only MAKE $20k/yr, and on that salary I cover the expenses 4 our daughter who has Crohns Disease & had Lyme Disease.. plus our other two daughters.

New Contributor
heathuhhhhwebbbb
Posts: 163
Registered: ‎10-18-2012
0

Re: TRe: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?

[ Edited ]

ivyalmighty wrote:

Jutz is right. We had two joint cards totaling $20K. He paid them to zero as we agreed, but did not close them. Then this yr, he lost his shriveled mind, and blew through the entire $20k in credit, in 3 months. And is now in paperwork 4 bankruptcy.

 

Paying them, with maxed-out balances, is not an option 4 me. Not in my entire living yrs, even. I only MAKE $20k/yr, and on that salary I cover the expenses 4 our daughter who has Crohns Disease & had Lyme Disease.. plus our other two daughters.


Well that sorta explains him running them up if he planned to 4ile 4 bankruptcy?  I thought you had to pay all debt back anyway with the new laws?

You should try to contact the CC.  Explain your situation to them and hopefully they'll be able to help. 

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