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Family homes

Contributor

Family homes

They say that the WW2 generation came back from the war at 20 years old and were able to buy homes with their military pay.   They say that the Baby Boomers had a great economy, and were able to leave home right out of college. 

 

The baby boomers say "Our parents left home at 20, we left home at 22, why are our kids still here at 24?",  I know my mom couldn't have been more relieved than when I left home.  However my understanding is that before the 20th century, people stayed at home until married.  And suprisingly the average age of marriage was actually higher back then 26.

 

I don't want to kick my kid out. I want her to stay as long as possible. I want to help her develop financial independence by saving money instead of wasting it on rent.  Whats the point of a multi bedroom house if the beds aren't used? It wastes the parent's money just as much as the children's. Lets change culture to make it okay to stay at home for as long as possible. Lets make the smart investment in our future generations.

 

Who is with me?

Message 1 of 7
6 REPLIES
Valued Contributor

Re: Family homes

I think it's a tough balance.  My parents kicked me out at 13 but rightly so -- and I am thankful for it because it forced me to become responsible for myself!  My sister didn't leave home until age 24 and she's not really able to survive without her mom and dad now.

 

But...a good friend of mine lived at home until he was 30, and now he's super successful.

 

So it really depends on the child, the parents, the opportunities and the responsibilities of all parties.

 

I don't have kids yet.  My dad had my sis when he turned 50 and I think I'll go the same route he did.  But I also don't want to have a kid who grows up looking up to TV stars and useless politicians.  If I have a kid who does that, they can hit the road as young as they want to.

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Message 2 of 7
Regular Contributor

Re: Family homes


ABCD2199 wrote

 

...So it really depends on the child, the parents, the opportunities and the responsibilities of all parties.

 

 


This.

 

Staying at home and using that opportunity to better your start in life should be encouraged if the situation warrants.

 

I've known parents who shelter their children at home in hopes of protecting them from the reality of life. I don't agree with that.

 

I've known parents who kick their kids out of the nest before they are ready or able to function on their own. I def don't agree with that

 

I've known parents that allow their children to responsibly stay at home in order to accumulate financial rewards and experience in life before venturing off on their own. I really agree with this

 

ABCD nailed it, If both parent and child have a solid agreement on what is expected vs what is actually being achieved, then staying home harms no one.  

Message 3 of 7
Established Contributor

Re: Family homes

I've been thankful for staying at home. I'm expected to do well in college and help out with some of the bills, but not yet close to a "fair share" i.e., total divided by number of people in the house. The biggest advice I can give to parents with kids of my age is to be on the same page with your spouse. Having one parent who wants you out and one parent who wants you to stay is very difficult.


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Message 4 of 7
Established Contributor

Re: Family homes


Kree wrote:

They say that the WW2 generation came back from the war at 20 years old and were able to buy homes with their military pay.   They say that the Baby Boomers had a great economy, and were able to leave home right out of college. 

 

The baby boomers say "Our parents left home at 20, we left home at 22, why are our kids still here at 24?",  I know my mom couldn't have been more relieved than when I left home.  However my understanding is that before the 20th century, people stayed at home until married.  And suprisingly the average age of marriage was actually higher back then 26.

 

I don't want to kick my kid out. I want her to stay as long as possible. I want to help her develop financial independence by saving money instead of wasting it on rent.  Whats the point of a multi bedroom house if the beds aren't used? It wastes the parent's money just as much as the children's. Lets change culture to make it okay to stay at home for as long as possible. Lets make the smart investment in our future generations.

 

Who is with me?


Most of what needs to be said has already been said by other posters, so I'll just add my few cents:

 

The assumption that rent is always a waste of money (and by extension, buying a home is always more financially advantageous) is wrong. There are absolutely situations where renting is the smart thing to do financially, just as there are situations where buying a home is a disastrous thing to do.

 

I agree that having a 3 or 4 (or more) bedroom house when only 1-2 people live there can be a waste of money. Nothing wrong with downsizing to a smaller home and investing the extra (or renting out rooms), though. Not wasting money on empty rooms as a reason to encourage children to stay home is silly when there's plenty of viable ways to address the problem.

 

The reasons decendants stayed at home until married back then differ greatly from the reasons they would today, so it's not saying much to point to the fact that it was more common/accepted in the 19th century. 19th century society in the US shunned the idea of working women and even single women. This makes it rather difficult to kick the kids out when they turned a certain age. For the men, those who were educated often did move out to start their own lives. For the agrarian men, they needed cheap labor (wife and kids), so they would stay home and help on the farm until they found a wife with whom to start a labor force with.

 

Ultimately, it's up to the individual family if they want to live together or not. This is a personal choice, not a cultural one. There's no reason whatsoever to need to change culture or seek society's approval to do this.

Message 5 of 7
Established Contributor

Re: Family homes

Ill chime in as a young adult who recenelty went through this. Im 25. I lived with my dad in GA and went to HS. Didnt do too well in HS. Graduated with a 3.1 GPA. My mom and step dad lived in NC. My mom said I HAD to go to college. No options. She helped me apply to different schools in GA. I got accepted to Valdosta State University and Georgia Southern University. I went to GSU and didnt get great grades. While in school my mom helped me and I worked 32 hrs a week at walmart making $8.35 and hr. My last semester of college I arranged my schedule so I could  move in with my parents in NC and finsh my last 4 classes online. While at home I decided I couldnt just be stuck doing school work. I applied for work at Verizon Wireless and made $40k base at 19 yrs old with no official college degree working 45 hrs and week and going to school online at night. It was hell. While working there I was offered a job at Fifth Third Bank as a personal banker. I took it. I graduated with a BS in CRJU and a Minor in Sociology. This was in Dec 2014. Jan 5 2015 I started at 5/3. I lived at home until recenelty. Paid off all my $40k in student loans and have a large amount in savings. My latest CS is 806. Just moved in with my bf of 3 years and we have a beautiful home together. My point is without my parents letting me live it home I wouldnt be where I am today.

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Message 6 of 7
Frequent Contributor

Re: Family homes

If my parents were alive they would be living with me. I miss them dearly.

Message 7 of 7