Reply
Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
0

Finances affect all relationships!

Why don't we read/see more activity on this sub-forum‽

 

"Relationships and money" doesn't necessarily have to be about spouses and significant others. Topics would just as easily be about how we relate to personal finances and credit.

 

For example, I'd applied for a  student deferment but they didn't respond (with a denial) until on the due date. Because they were taking so long I paid on the night before it was due. The lag in processing time made it appear to be late. I 100% freaked out about not being able to get a house next year, going BK, locusts, raining frogs, etc... LOL!

 

Is the subject just too touchy? If it is I'd be very, very.... Very afraid, yet morbidly curious, to read what people have to say on the matter. Especially considering how candid people are about things like BK, late payments, setbacks and so on.


Starting Score: 675
Current Score: EX 754 FICO, EQ 737FICO
Goal Score: 776 FICO


Take the FICO Fitness Challenge
Moderator Emerita
Community Leader
Epic Contributor
haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,115
Registered: ‎04-01-2007
0

Re: Finances affect all relationships!

Heck, I'd love to see more activity here! :smileyvery-happy: (well, other than the spammers who seem to love this board :smileytongue:)

 

How one relates to money and credit, though; that tends to wind up on General Credit Topics. Doesn't mean that it has to, though.

 

We originally intended this forum to help people think through how credit is handled by spouses, especially when and if the Big D enters the picture. Then we expanded it to talk about money and credit as it affects couples and/or family members (siblings, parents/ grown kids, etc.) in general.

 

Maybe it's time to expand it again to encompass the emotional issues in credit and personal finance in general. My hesitation at the moment is that the important info and discussions about the sad nitty-gritty problems that can come when partners have joint credit and then split up might get lost.

 

Any thoughts, anyone? Besides the generous souls offering to stream the third-round Quidditch World Cup and whatnot.

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
0

Re: Finances affect all relationships!

^ Doesn't our own relationship with money bear some examining, too?

 

I look at (and participate in) the Gardening threads. Ever wonder why someone who is already set (credit-wise) and has no real need for the shiny card still needs to read "Congratulations, You're approved!!"?

 

I like to believe that knowing what's going on emotionally would lead to better financial decisions.


Starting Score: 675
Current Score: EX 754 FICO, EQ 737FICO
Goal Score: 776 FICO


Take the FICO Fitness Challenge
Moderator Emeritus
MarineVietVet
Posts: 14,084
Registered: ‎07-14-2009
0

Re: Finances affect all relationships!


haulingthescoreup wrote:

Heck, I'd love to see more activity here! :smileyvery-happy: (well, other than the spammers who seem to love this board :smileytongue:)

 

How one relates to money and credit, though; that tends to wind up on General Credit Topics. Doesn't mean that it has to, though.

 

We originally intended this forum to help people think through how credit is handled by spouses, especially when and if the Big D enters the picture. Then we expanded it to talk about money and credit as it affects couples and/or family members (siblings, parents/ grown kids, etc.) in general.

 

Maybe it's time to expand it again to encompass the emotional issues in credit and personal finance in general. My hesitation at the moment is that the important info and discussions about the sad nitty-gritty problems that can come when partners have joint credit and then split up might get lost.

 

Any thoughts, anyone? Besides the generous souls offering to stream the third-round Quidditch World Cup and whatnot.



Why is there not more activity here? I can only offer my opinion that perhaps many folks are just like me and the last thing they are willing to discuss even on an anonymous online forum is personal relationships; particularly if it involves problems/disputes over financial matters. Few of us like to admit publicly (or privately) that we are less than model stewards of the often volatile mixture of money and marriage and/or relationships.

 

But that's just my view. It might be entirely different reasons.

 

 

 

From a BK years ago to:
EX - 3/11 pulled by lender- 835, EQ - 2/11-816, TU - 2/11-782

"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they've made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem".

 

 

Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
0

Re: Finances affect all relationships!

^ MVV,

 

None of us are perfect stewards, LOL!


Starting Score: 675
Current Score: EX 754 FICO, EQ 737FICO
Goal Score: 776 FICO


Take the FICO Fitness Challenge
Valued Contributor
discernment
Posts: 1,142
Registered: ‎09-01-2011
0

Re: Finances affect all relationships!


drkaje wrote:

 

I like to believe that knowing what's going on emotionally would lead to better financial decisions.


YES!  And, for myself, and maybe others will agree -- the "relationship" that we have directly with money plays a HUGE factor in our emotional intelligence. :smileywink:

 

 



Husband's Current Score: EX 691 CUSC; EQ 694; TU 687; Mine: EX 773 (AMEX); EQ 720; TU 750
Wallet Contents: SECURED: Capital One Platinum Mastercard, US Bank Harley Davidson Visa, USAA Bank American Express;
UNSECURED: Chase Freedom; USAA Cash Rewards World Mastercard, Discover More, CUSC Platinum Rewards Visa, American Express Zinc, American Express Blue Cash Preferred, Amazon Card, Walmart Discover Card
Contributor
Ms-Kato
Posts: 472
Registered: ‎10-22-2011
0

Re: Finances affect all relationships!

How about friends reaction to...

 

 

Handful of friends make plans for a night out (Dinner/Play in NYC) or a short weekend getaway..Some friends

make a remark such as " I got bills to pay"  or   " I don't make the kind of money you make" and say it in a snarky manner when

the truth is they really don't make much less and we all have bills.

 

And if you don't include them they get all pissy if you don't invite them but they still sling the same snarky remarks when you do.

 

 

How do you respond to these remarks ?

 

 

Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
0

Re: Finances affect all relationships!

^ I reply "Me, too!", LOL!

 

If you can't afford to float a friend, be honest about that fact and move on. Especially if it's an occasion where the idea is to treat yourself or isn't really affordable in the first place, LOL!


Starting Score: 675
Current Score: EX 754 FICO, EQ 737FICO
Goal Score: 776 FICO


Take the FICO Fitness Challenge
Moderator Emeritus
MarineVietVet
Posts: 14,084
Registered: ‎07-14-2009
0

Re: Finances affect all relationships!


Bluerain wrote:

How about friends reaction to...

 

 

Handful of friends make plans for a night out (Dinner/Play in NYC) or a short weekend getaway..Some friends

make a remark such as " I got bills to pay"  or   " I don't make the kind of money you make" and say it in a snarky manner when

the truth is they really don't make much less and we all have bills.

 

And if you don't include them they get all pissy if you don't invite them but they still sling the same snarky remarks when you do.

 

 

How do you respond to these remarks ?

 

 


Then they are not really "friends" and it's time to move on. Just MHO.

 

 

 

From a BK years ago to:
EX - 3/11 pulled by lender- 835, EQ - 2/11-816, TU - 2/11-782

"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they've made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem".

Established Contributor
casmith1980
Posts: 633
Registered: ‎03-20-2010
0

Re: Finances affect all relationships!

When I had first met my DH, I had horrendous credit and his was pristine. It wasnt horrible on purpose, but at 19 I had to decide if I was going to pay credit cards or put diapers on my newborn. Needless to say, I chose the latter.
When DH and and first got married, he wouldn't allow me to have credit cards. I ended up sneaking a card in (first premier) and when it arrived decided the fees were too high and didn't activate it. I've since learned how that stupid move helped me :smileysad:

I love DH with all my heart but would have appreciated a much less controlling approach to my credit situation. Hell, I was finally able to find a better rebuilding card with less fees but once he found out about it, he made me call the company in front of him to cancel/PIF.

Now, after almost 7 years of marriage, he's learned that I'm going to do whatever I want and it's best to just shut his mouth lol. I'm definitely in a better financial position than 8 years ago and he's partially responsible for that :smileyhappy:.
EQ Fico 2009 500's
TU Fico 2009 500's

EQ Fico 04/10/2012 663 (SW alert)
TU Fico 04/13/2012 653 (Walmart)

Goal: 760 by 12/2013 and close on my first house :smileyvery-happy:

Goal - 720 by 12/31/12

myFICO is the consumer division of FICO. Since its introduction 20 years ago, the FICO® Score has become a global standard for measuring credit risk in the banking, mortgage, credit card, auto and retail industries. 90 of the top 100 largest U.S. financial institutions use the FICO Score to make consumer credit decisions.

>> About myFICO
FICO Score - The Score that matters
Click to Verify - This site chose VeriSign SSL for secure e-commerce and confidential communications.
Fair Isaac Corporation is a BBB Accredited Financial Service in San Rafael, CA
FOLLOW US Social Media Facebook Twitter Pinterest Google+