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FrugalRican
Posts: 2,876
Registered: ‎02-02-2012

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

60 hours, good lord :smileysad:

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EQ FICO (01/16/2012): 656 - EQ FICO (02/16/2012): 743 - EQ (02/24/2012): 760 - EX (04/28/2012): 739 - GOAL 2013: 800+

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drkaje
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎07-25-2008

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

I asked DGF to handle all finance for 14 months. She's far mor oganized and I had a lot to learn before taking over again. I honestly wouldn't be where I am without all her help. I did the rebuilding but she got everything organized, financed @ 0%, and manageable. I had around $6K CC debt from AU card he ex had.

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Established Contributor
my-own-fico
Posts: 1,032
Registered: ‎01-05-2010

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

[ Edited ]

haulingthescoreup wrote:
What is this bit about "consent"? Where'd you get that one?


From you actually. :smileyhappy: "you have no legal right to access your BF's scores, via a myFICO account or any other manner. Same for married folks; doesn't matter: husbands can't pull wives' scores and vice versa."

So since you also say that "IF the partner is genuinely content and relieved to let the other manage all the money issues (there are such people; it really does happen), it's not an automatic deal-breaker," then obviously consent is required if handling money issues includes withdrawing from checking account and pulling credit scores on the other's behalf.

I'm not talking about calling FICO customer service, where you are looked at or listened to. I'm talking about not doing the wrong thing even when no one is looking. You said that "of course, spouses etc do this sort of thing." And I say, don't do this sort of thing without reasonable consent.

 

Such a reasonable consent doesn't equal content and relieved. The latter may simply indicate not wanting to be bothered with the logistics of financial housekeeping, while the former touches on to which extent you pass on the overall decision making.

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haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,114
Registered: ‎04-01-2007

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

I see. I thought you meant consent as in some sort of legal form.

 

Obviously, if one spouse asks the other to keep an eye on credit and so forth, there is an implied consent involved. That's different from one sneaking peaks at the other's credit reports, maybe trying to see if there's a lot of new credit activity going on during all those business trips.

 

Again, I pointed out that legally, one person can't pull another's credit. As I recall, there's something on there that you have to check off when you pull a report that says, yes, I am this person. It's important to realize this in case one party calls a credit bureau to ask about something on the other person's credit report while attempting to help clean up the other's credit. That's a very good way to have the credit bureau to block any access by anyone, due to suspicion of attempted fraud. 

 

I figure that little factoid is something useful for people to know and keep in mind.

 

I think it's great when one party helps the other out in credit land. DXH happily OK'd me to pull his reports when I was trying to get a collection off two of his reports that should never have been there. He was justly proud of his clean history and wanted them off, but otherwise he had absolutely no interest in learning anything about credit.

 

Sorry if I confused you.

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,114
Registered: ‎04-01-2007

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee


FrugalRican wrote:

There's nothing wrong with seeing "The Help". I still retained my masculinity after it.


:smileyvery-happy:

 

I've read the book, and I keep toting around the DVD, which I hope that I will one day stay awake long enough to stick in the player and watch. :smileytongue:

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,114
Registered: ‎04-01-2007

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee


FrugalRican wrote:

60 hours, good lord :smileysad:


Massive software meltdown, and day after day of having to sit through WebX meetings, unable to do any real work, watching strangers remote in and try to figure out why we have been down since the first of the month. :smileysad: :smileysad:

 

I've learned a lot of techie jargon, though. :smileyvery-happy: --still no idea what most of it means, but I have some spiffy new phrases to randomly sprinkle about. :smileywink:

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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lithium78
Posts: 928
Registered: ‎07-30-2011

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

My DW and I have separate personal checking accounts where we deposit our paychecks and separate personal savings accounts for personal goals, but we also have a joint checking account into which we transfer money to pay for bills and expenses and a joint savings account we use for future goals we share as a couple.  We also have our own separate credit cards.  So far, this system has worked for us, but we are also both pretty good about money.

 

If your significant other is interested in learning how to handle personal finances better, I would recommend the book I used to get myself back on track: "The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke" by Suze Orman.  It's very readable and not intimidating at all for the personal finance novice.  It really helped me figure out what to do after my credit tanked from a long illness.


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jetsfan2012
Posts: 208
Registered: ‎05-28-2012

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

I think I am more attracted to someone who financially "gets it" then anything at this point in my life.

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drkaje
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎07-25-2008

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee


jetsfan2012 wrote:

I think I am more attracted to someone who financially "gets it" then anything at this point in my life.


Not having to constantly worry about someone financially messing up your life is pretty attractive, LOL!


Starting Score: 675
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psychoinhell
Posts: 565
Registered: ‎06-12-2010

Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee


jetsfan2012 wrote:

I think I am more attracted to someone who financially "gets it" then anything at this point in my life.



I am attracted to Mila Kunis :heart:

 

but someone that cannot handle their money makes me feel like I am dating a child and I cannot stand it!  I date women my son's age (18-25), but women are supposed to be more mature than men!!!  **stomps feet**


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