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Friendly windfall and a super fast train!

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Valued Contributor

Friendly windfall and a super fast train!

My friend gleefully informed me that she is getting a financial windfall!  (My nice words - her's words were more excited, bubbly, can't think fast enough.)

 

Within hours of receiving the funds, she will be moving out of this dreaded location and on to her dream location!  I am excited for her!  (I still have a month or so to go before I can start my move and there is no windfall coming this way...that I know of...)

 

Anyways, she's already spent her 6 figure windfall a few dozen ways.  She wants to get together for dinner one last time before she hightails it outta here.  She kindly offered to pay for dinner ANYWHERE I want to go.  Smiley Happy  A very nice offer!

 

Doing mindful thinking, I mentally reviewed our years long friendship.  There are all kinds of pieces to the friendship, including financial.  We've both had some super tight times and some not so tight times.  I've been giving her food to help her out the last few years during her super tight times.  I learned super early on that we each need to pay our dining out bills.  (Basically, going "Dutch" because of her ordering patterns.) So I am racking my brain trying to think of a place we could go to eat dinner.

 

Knee jerk reaction was someplace super cheap, like McDonalds.  Then I thought no way.  She'll be eating plenty of that on the road.  Of course, I thought of my favorites places to eat.  But then I discounted those places because the average cost would be $15-20 a person and she and I are not sharing the meal.  Yes, she can afford it and yes, she did emphasize ANYWHERE I want, but I am not going to do that to her.   So I tried to think of places that are super cheap, but will bring you your food to the table. (I know, fancy right? A huge step up from McDonalds!)  Lol.  Another factor is her hubby will be coming to dinner with us too.  I've notice that when we all go out together, he gets whatever he wants, without regard to price and she ends up skimping to keep things as close to or under $20 for them as possible.

 

I finally have a few options that would keep allow a mindful diner to get by for $10 or less.  I will present them to her, along with my favorite place, and give her final option.

 

It's amazing to me how finances are affecting our last get together.   Or maybe it's just my mindful thinking that is getting in the way of eating out at my favorite places!  Who knows...but finances definitely shape relationships!

 

I am so happy for my friend.  Smiley Happy  

 

I hope I never grow out of my mindful thinking.  Smiley Happy   *sigh*

 

***  

 

Does anyone else think about these things like I do?  Where to go out to eat with certain friends, because of expense?  Alternate treating the bill or each person pays for their own stuffs?  I'm sure some of you do.  Come on, admit it.  In this situation, where the friend said ANYWHERE, would you be conservative or go all out for your favorite place?

 

Message 1 of 12
11 REPLIES
Frequent Contributor

Re: Friendly windfall and a super fast train!

I think if I were you, I'd tell my friend that it doesn't matter to you where you go, you are just happy to be getting together before she goes. Tell her you wish to leave it up to her, and you'll be glad to go wherever she chooses..Simple Smiley Happy

 

K


You can't have your cake and eat it too. But you can dip your finger in the bowl and lick the icing!
Message 2 of 12
Valued Contributor

Re: Friendly windfall and a super fast train!


IOBA wrote:

My friend gleefully informed me that she is getting a financial windfall!  (My nice words - her's words were more excited, bubbly, can't think fast enough.)

 

Within hours of receiving the funds, she will be moving out of this dreaded location and on to her dream location!  I am excited for her!  (I still have a month or so to go before I can start my move and there is no windfall coming this way...that I know of...)

 

Anyways, she's already spent her 6 figure windfall a few dozen ways.  She wants to get together for dinner one last time before she hightails it outta here.  She kindly offered to pay for dinner ANYWHERE I want to go.  Smiley Happy  A very nice offer!

 

Doing mindful thinking, I mentally reviewed our years long friendship.  There are all kinds of pieces to the friendship, including financial.  We've both had some super tight times and some not so tight times.  I've been giving her food to help her out the last few years during her super tight times.  I learned super early on that we each need to pay our dining out bills.  (Basically, going "Dutch" because of her ordering patterns.) So I am racking my brain trying to think of a place we could go to eat dinner.

 

Knee jerk reaction was someplace super cheap, like McDonalds.  Then I thought no way.  She'll be eating plenty of that on the road.  Of course, I thought of my favorites places to eat.  But then I discounted those places because the average cost would be $15-20 a person and she and I are not sharing the meal.  Yes, she can afford it and yes, she did emphasize ANYWHERE I want, but I am not going to do that to her.   So I tried to think of places that are super cheap, but will bring you your food to the table. (I know, fancy right? A huge step up from McDonalds!)  Lol.  Another factor is her hubby will be coming to dinner with us too.  I've notice that when we all go out together, he gets whatever he wants, without regard to price and she ends up skimping to keep things as close to or under $20 for them as possible.

 

I finally have a few options that would keep allow a mindful diner to get by for $10 or less.  I will present them to her, along with my favorite place, and give her final option.

 

It's amazing to me how finances are affecting our last get together.   Or maybe it's just my mindful thinking that is getting in the way of eating out at my favorite places!  Who knows...but finances definitely shape relationships!

 

I am so happy for my friend.  Smiley Happy  

 

I hope I never grow out of my mindful thinking.  Smiley Happy   *sigh*

 

***  

 

Does anyone else think about these things like I do?  Where to go out to eat with certain friends, because of expense?  Alternate treating the bill or each person pays for their own stuffs?  I'm sure some of you do.  Come on, admit it.  In this situation, where the friend said ANYWHERE, would you be conservative or go all out for your favorite place?

 


I always hope internally that some of this goes to some of the poor in the benefactor's community. 


EX08 659 EQ08 660 TU08 695 Starting: mid 300'sGoal: 700
Message 3 of 12
Valued Contributor

Re: Friendly windfall and a super fast train!

I am happy for my friend.  Smiley Happy

 

And no, she does not plan to donate any money to charities.  It will be spent on her and her wants.  She feels she is entitled to do so.

 

Things may change after she gets the money.  Who knows?

 

 

Message 4 of 12
Regular Contributor

Re: Friendly windfall and a super fast train!

@IOBA I am happy to see how excited and thoughtful you are for your friend. So nice to see someone with such a pure heart.


In the garden until spring 2018. Final date to be determined by closing on my new house!
Message 5 of 12
Valued Contributor

Re: Friendly windfall and a super fast train!

Her train left the station without so much as a warning whistle!  *shaking my head*

 

There was no goodbye dinner.  What I got was - 'I'm too busy.  If you want to see me, I'm changing the date, you have to come to me, and bring take out.'  Uh, no.  

 

You are a friend.  I offered to help you move.  You said no.  I went on with my life, refused offers from others to meet on the goodbye dinner night, and really thought we'd have a chance to say bye.   *sigh*

 

Things will work out.  We can keep in touch with texting.  

Message 6 of 12
Regular Contributor

Re: Friendly windfall and a super fast train!

That's a shame. You deserve better than that although, like you already wrote, it will all work out.


In the garden until spring 2018. Final date to be determined by closing on my new house!
Message 7 of 12
Valued Contributor

Re: Friendly windfall and a super fast train!


IOBA wrote:

Her train left the station without so much as a warning whistle!  *shaking my head*

 

There was no goodbye dinner.  What I got was - 'I'm too busy.  If you want to see me, I'm changing the date, you have to come to me, and bring take out.'  Uh, no.  

 

You are a friend.  I offered to help you move.  You said no.  I went on with my life, refused offers from others to meet on the goodbye dinner night, and really thought we'd have a chance to say bye.   *sigh*

 

Things will work out.  We can keep in touch with texting.  


Maybe this friend's exit makes room for a new, better friend.

 

Always pains me to see people treat their so-called friends (or anyone at all) like crap. You were happy for your friend in whatever situation led to her windfall, and that should have been appreciated. 


There will be better people out there. I know it!


EX08 659 EQ08 660 TU08 695 Starting: mid 300'sGoal: 700
Message 8 of 12
Valued Member

Re: Friendly windfall and a super fast train!

It is kind of humbling to know there is friends like you out there, nice to stay on your financial lane. you write well too! .

drash
Message 9 of 12
Valued Contributor

Re: Friendly windfall and a super fast train!

Thanks!

 

Haven't really heard from said friend since she left.  She's probably enjoying her new life of leisure.  Smiley Happy

 

There's definitely room for more friends!  People come and go in our lives for a reason.   Smiley Happy  

 

Email anyone?  

 

Coffee anyone?

Message 10 of 12