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11-16-2012 09:27 AM
Just want to share that I was your gf for too many years. A lot of 'magic thinking' when it came to money. Somehow it was more elastic than finite and I believed that there was always somehow more than enough money. Anyway, my way of doing things did cause a lot of problems in my life and my marriage. FINALLY, older and wiser, and getting things together. I truly didn't see my behavior as a problem. My husband, who had the opposite belief system (there is never enough), let me do the bills. He thought that would help. It didn't. It didn't because all we did was fight about money, bills, etc. I juggled incessantly! No solution there.
The kindest thing you can do for yourself and your girlfriend, is to be honest, set limits that you will keep, keep your money separate, and expect her to contribute.
This is an excellent post... Thank you for sharing!
I agree whole heartedly with what I highlighted in red above.
11-17-2012 05:23 AM
03-14-2013 01:39 AM
03-14-2013 08:51 AM
I agree with everyone else separate checking accounts and if they are not her cards do not let her use them . My GF makes way less than I do but we split the bills in a fair way I pay rent and most of the bigger bills . She pays for the electric , water , and cable. It is a system we have and it works for us the bills I pay are in my name and the ones she pays are in her name. I think it gives her more of an incentive to make sure they are paid knowing it is in her name. Some people just can not have joint accounts a former gf of mine was that way always " borrowing " from me but I would never get paid back and was stuck with all the bills.