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Registered: ‎08-21-2013
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Getting Sig Other to Take Financial Future Seriously?

Myself and my sig other are both 23. We both have around $14k in student loan debt. We both took a break from school at the same time, however I am currently back in school, and he is saying he will be re-enrolling for the spring semester. I am currently rehabbing my federal student loans, and he (to the best of my knowledge) has been paying them as agreed since after he left school. I am also in the process of cleaning up my credit, which was poor due to a couple mistakes of my own and a couple mistakes from my father (you can read about it here if you'd like).

 

I have a fairly successful career in real estate, and I am going to school for Interior Design. He works full time in customer service. I am defintely the breadwinner in the relationship. He plans on finishing his degree in teaching. We would like to eventually move out of state, and my main concern is having a healthy credit portfolio for when we need to apply for a place to rent, and then eventually when we would like to buy a house and procure a mortgage.

 

The issue is...I've been very open about my credit rebuilding and my financial challenges. I have a SCC with a CL of $500, and I also have a store card with a CL of $250. I had at one time a car loan that has been PIF, never late, for around $8k. So I am not necessarily new to having credit. However, besides his student loans, he does not have a CC nor has he had a car payment. We are currently renting from his mother to save money while we're (well I'm) in school. I have approached him on the topic of getting a CC, and even explained to him that you don't have to max it out every month, that 1%-9% utlization is idea, ect. I've also approached the subject of him procuring a small car loan (something like $3k or $3.5k). Every time I bring up these subjects, he shuts me down and says he "does not have the money" or has "no interest in a car loan or CC". I don't want to nag him, but I'd also like us to be set for the future.

 

We've been together since we were 13, so it is a long standing relationship with a lot of mutual trust and respect. I'm just trying to set us up for success when we are forced out into the real world. But it's almost as if he's not ready to start thinking about those things. I know money/credit/finances are sometimes a touchy subject, but why oh why can we communicate about everything under the sun except for this?


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Re: Getting Sig Other to Take Financial Future Seriously?

[ Edited ]

I don't have an answer for the underlying issue, but you can add him as an AU on your cards going forward, or simply get everything possible as a joint account though this is harder to do now with recent changes.  It's not quite the same, but otherwise if you're the breadwinner as you suggest, you may wind up having to qualify for certain products on your own, but there are a bunch of relationships historically which do just fine financially when one of the individuals doesn't have a single tradeline in their name.

 

His SL's will keep him out of thin file status for a while: it's not ideal from a credit report perspective as you intimate, but if you can get a few shared acounts on there, with little to no risk to your report as it doesn't sound like he'd want to use them anyway, I think you can accomplish 95% or better if he simply approves putting some of your or shared cards which you offer to manage completely on his report.

 

There will probably be some trigger point in life where he'll want or need a credit card: renting a car was my personal one after more than a decade on a cash based existence, but it's a hard one to get around: some people simply have an aversion to credit cards or any form of debt they don't absolutely need.  Not a bad person, just a little awkward in the modern credit-based economy.

 

 

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Re: Getting Sig Other to Take Financial Future Seriously?

Aversion is a light way of putting it, they're a pain in the butt =)

 

But if he trusts you to manage the cards well, adding him as an AU and keep the card could only help him just as Revelate said.

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Re: Getting Sig Other to Take Financial Future Seriously?

Adding him as an AU on your cards is definitely a smart move. I would also recommend opening up a joint account. This is definitely a touchy subject, some people just don’t EVER want to discuss money matters, but unfortunately it is important to be able to discuss these things with your significant other. Tread lightly when you bring up these conversations but also make it clear that you need to both be on the same page with your financial situations and goals. Your significant other needs to realize that your individual finances definitely effect each other’s lives, especially if marriage is in the future.

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Re: Getting Sig Other to Take Financial Future Seriously?


WilliamsNews wrote:

Adding him as an AU on your cards is definitely a smart move. I would also recommend opening up a joint account. This is definitely a touchy subject, some people just don’t EVER want to discuss money matters, but unfortunately it is important to be able to discuss these things with your significant other. Tread lightly when you bring up these conversations but also make it clear that you need to both be on the same page with your financial situations and goals. Your significant other needs to realize that your individual finances definitely effect each other’s lives, especially if marriage is in the future.


Thank you all for your answers!

 

I'm going to broach the subject of adding him as an AU on my CC (which has now graduated to a regular, unsecured CC with a $1,000 limit!). I've also touched (lightly) on the subject of him getting a new car with a small auto loan (we're talking maybe $5k or $6k). Baby steps.

 

We've been getting more serious about renting, so money discussions have been happening more and more, which is good. I feel like maybe we're getting somewhere. Maybe.


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