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How do you non-married couples split your household expenses?

Valued Member

Re: How do you non-married couples split your household expenses?

Good read, old post or not. Thought I'd share my experience.


I have always lived by myself but last March moved in with my girlfriend. Right off the bat we agreed to split everything down the middle, rent, groceries, we'd each have an equal $ amount for bills in our names (3 or so each), and I said I'd even split her (now our!) dog's expenses. I made roughly 10k more than her and would pick up extra groceries, pay whenever we went out, pick up gas in her car, etc.


Just recently she has switched teaching jobs to somewhere where she will be much better off 5 years from now, but now makes ~20k less than me. She couldn't decicde at first because she was so worried about finances (our goal was to begin house-hunting in mid-2019). She flat-out asked me if I could take on more of rent since I'll be making so much more. I hadn't even thought about it since April, but of course I said sure. I have my own CC debt black hole that I am paying down, and this will put ME further back for awhile, but will allow US to live more comfortably. When those "I's" become "we's" it tends to make everything so much easier. So we pushed our collective goal of home ownership out a couple years, big deal.


Communication up front is the key.

Message 61 of 64
Community Leader
Super Contributor

Re: How do you non-married couples split your household expenses?

Hey everyone, I realized that I hadn't come back to my thread in awhile to update it. My friend and her boyfriend broke up (her decision), and though she was sad at first, she now feels relieved.

It was too much pressure for her, and also she thinks (no proof), that he was living well beyond means as a show for his friends. He would also makes snide comments to her about how she's lucky to be living in a nice home, driving in a nice car etccc, and she just felt broken, and that she would never live up to the expectations of him, and she became depressed.

She much happier now, living back with her old roommate for now, but thats changing this summer, as she will have to figure out other arrangements. Word on the street is, her ex is dating already and talking of "moving in the new girl".....what a tool.
(BK7 d/c-08/2013/FICO-400's) ~ 02/2018~ FICO 08- EQ-669, TU-674, EX-??
Scores being held down by tons of INQ/New acts Smiley Wink
Message 62 of 64
Community Leader
Valued Contributor

Re: How do you non-married couples split your household expenses?

Hey, pizza! I feel relieved for your friend! I remember reading your thread back when you started it, and kind of followed for awhile. I am so glad everything worked out for her. Smiley Happy

Current Scores------ EQ 683; TU 652; EX 687 FICO 08--- Gardening from 09/07/17 until "Winter is Over"
Beginning Scores-- EQ 632; TU 576; EX 619 FICO 08 (06/13/16) - BK7 discharged 11/2015

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Message 63 of 64
New Member

Re: How do you non-married couples split your household expenses?

I know this is old but it's fascinating and I wanted to answer as well.

Our situation is weird because we moved in together (without knowing each other) then started dating.
When I first moved in I paid rent of $250 a month + half of utilities (electric, satalite, interner, trash). We each had a dog so we adjusted them to the same food and would alternate buying a bag of food and would alternate buying groceries. We'd also take turns grabbing the bill when we went out. All other expenses were independent.

2 months after I moved in we started dating. We decided then that he bought all meals out since the servers typically gave him the bill anyway (I'll pay if I grab something for us on my way home) and I buy all the groceries (but sometimes he stops by himself and pays.)
11 months after I moved in we decided me paying rent was stupid because of the relationship.
He still pays 100% of the propane expense and 100% of the mortgage. He also pays for all maintenance on the house. If we were to break up or something were to happen to him I would have 0 claim to the house, unlike if we were married. So we agree that I shouldn't put any money into it.
The only other change is pet expenses: we lost my dog shortly after I moved in so now we have a cat and a dog. He typically pays for the dog and I typically pay for the cat. Occasionally the other will pick up a bag of food though. No big deal.
My base income is a little more than half of his base. I also have significantly more debt because of student loans. Luckily he has none as he paid for university out of pocket.
I'm currently in the process of calculating if being married would save us money. It's looking like it would. We'll see.
Message 64 of 64