Husband’s not helping

[Anonymous]

This is a situation I know well. My ex husband was always bad with money and yet I married him, knowing there would be a point that we struggled. He refused counseling, he refused budgets, he refused to work with me. Unfortunately it didn't work out and I ultimately got out, but not without getting burned in the process. I truly understand fierce loyalty, and that's commendable. What isn't good is he is simply unwilling to participate in your marriage 100% financially. Something has to give. You guys are on a downward spiral, one that most likely will not end well. I suggest counseling, but he also has to be willing to sit and truly WORK on your financial situation together. If he becomes "hurt" by you wanting to discuss something that should be 100% an open discussion, that speaks volumes to me. Good luck with everything, know you are not alone. 

[tangerinze]

Do you share a bank account? If you have separate bank accounts set up an automatic transfer each week for $$ amount and expect it.

I would put a certain number of your household bills in his name and let him pay them, if they go bad and the cable or electric is shut off that’s on him.

Expect him to get a real job (assuming he doesn’t have one per your post) and if he doesn’t get something consistent hit the road.

I know you said you don’t want to leave but if you can’t handle how he is now it’s never going to change.