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I trust my family with credit

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iced
Valued Contributor

Re: I trust my family with credit


@Subexistence wrote:

My dad has a FICO score of 848. My sister graduated from MIT and she makes 150K per year and has above 800 FICO score. I've added them as AU to help me meet sign-up bonus on Amex BCE. Everything they spent on it was paid off. My dad also gave me 15K because he trusts that I won't recklessly spend it on a fancy car. Right now, the money is earning interest in a high interest money market account. I will invest it in stocks when I've learned more about the stock market and when the time is right.

 

Seriously, this whole sub-forum is about bashing family and friends about being wolfy and selfish. If they have genetic impulse control and they love you enough to not scam you, why not trust them?


There is a saying that all mushrooms are edible, but some mushrooms are only edible once. If you understand that saying, you'll understand why so many of us don't trust others with money, even if they're family.

 

Loaning money is really about risk. If family asks for a small amount that won't hurt you personally, you will be much more likely to loan it out. I'm sure most of the bashers you reference would happily loan a family member $20 because it's not something that would hurt them if it wasn't repaid. Up that amount to $5,000 or $50,000 and many would balk because if the family member defaults, it takes them down as well. It's the same reason many of us won't co-sign for any amount - the credit report hit can be devastating.

 

Request an amount that would damage your father if you didn't repay and see if he still agrees. If I recall, you once commented about how your parents wouldn't make you an AU on their cards. I wouldn't make my kids and an AU and if they asked, I'd tell them they need to build their own credit. It's not wrong, but it's also because I'm not going to expose myself to that risk.

 

Finally, you should consider dropping the genetic references. Yes, some mental disorders that result in poor impulse control are genetic, but these are severe cases and affect people at a much lower level than how they spend money. Genetics is not a determining factor in what makes some people more responsible than others.

Message 11 of 18
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: I trust my family with credit

Good philosophy, the main thing is that your children do not think the same way and did not surrender you to a nursing home when you become old.

Message 12 of 18
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: I trust my family with credit

IT's not so much that family can't be trustworthy.  The problem is if things take a downturn (and it can happen to anyone, in any income situation), the situation gets very messy because now you have a bad financial situation mixed with personal.  That can get very ugly and cause long term damage to relationships, which are more important than any credit card rewards.  Hence why most advise against it.

 

All that said my best friend is my business partner, and our business thrives because we have opposite strengths.  However, I realize the risk involved if things go bad and I'm willing to accept it.  It all comes down to just understanding what CAN happen and if you're willing to accept it.  For credit card rewards to earn a couple extra bucks?  No, not worth the risk to me.  Taking a risk for a thriving business?  Yeah, I'll take that risk.

Message 13 of 18
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: I trust my family with credit


@Subexistence wrote:

My dad has a FICO score of 848. My sister graduated from MIT and she makes 150K per year and has above 800 FICO score. I've added them as AU to help me meet sign-up bonus on Amex BCE. Everything they spent on it was paid off. My dad also gave me 15K because he trusts that I won't recklessly spend it on a fancy car. Right now, the money is earning interest in a high interest money market account. I will invest it in stocks when I've learned more about the stock market and when the time is right.

 

Seriously, this whole sub-forum is about bashing family and friends about being wolfy and selfish. If they have genetic impulse control and they love you enough to not scam you, why not trust them?


High interest  money market account?  I don't think those things exist right now.  Are you sure your money is in a money market account?

 

 

Message 14 of 18
sarge12
Senior Contributor

Re: I trust my family with credit


@ChessChik47 wrote:

@Subexistence wrote:

My dad has a FICO score of 848. My sister graduated from MIT and she makes 150K per year and has above 800 FICO score. I've added them as AU to help me meet sign-up bonus on Amex BCE. Everything they spent on it was paid off. My dad also gave me 15K because he trusts that I won't recklessly spend it on a fancy car. Right now, the money is earning interest in a high interest money market account. I will invest it in stocks when I've learned more about the stock market and when the time is right.

 

Seriously, this whole sub-forum is about bashing family and friends about being wolfy and selfish. If they have genetic impulse control and they love you enough to not scam you, why not trust them?


It's really easy to "trust family with credit" when they are the ones helping YOU out.  What you posted above references what THEY have done for YOU, not the other way around.  Unfortunately you hear more stories about folks taking advantage of others and sometimes hurting their credit or the relationship, rather than hearing all the great things like you mentioned above.  Trust me, if my parents gave me $15K (or even paid me back half of the money the owe me), I'd be singing their praises too.


Family relationships vary. I, myself consider any loans I make to family a gift. I would not loan them money I had to have back, but since I'm very financially secure, I do make them loans, which both I and they know will not be repaid. I only call it a loan to keep them from feeling bad about taking my money.

TU fico08=812 07/16/23
EX fico08=809 07/16/23
EQ fico09=812 07/16/23
EX fico09=821 07/16/23
EQ fico bankcard08=832 07/16/23
TU Fico Bankcard 08=840 07/16/23
EQ NG1 fico=802 04/17/21
EQ Resilience index score=58 03/09/21
Unknown score from EX=784 used by Cap1 07/10/20
Message 15 of 18
sarge12
Senior Contributor

Re: I trust my family with credit


@Anonymous wrote:

For stock investments you can't beat S&P 500 index and DJ 30 index.  Best thing to do is  buy index funds that mirror them. Vanguard has some great index funds.   

 

I beg to differ about trust and scams Dw and I have a nice living helping banks and government agencies  recover losses from  from scams and fraud. For enough money you woul be shocked what people have tried.   I once helped the bank "fiind" One hundred and fifty million dollars some one stole from mega bank  and then they claimed they "forgot" where they put it.  Yes I said one hundred fifty million dollars. Never made the paper or news.  Bank did not want the attention just their money back. 


You say that like you've never accidently misplaced 150 million dollars...nobody's perfect!!!!!

TU fico08=812 07/16/23
EX fico08=809 07/16/23
EQ fico09=812 07/16/23
EX fico09=821 07/16/23
EQ fico bankcard08=832 07/16/23
TU Fico Bankcard 08=840 07/16/23
EQ NG1 fico=802 04/17/21
EQ Resilience index score=58 03/09/21
Unknown score from EX=784 used by Cap1 07/10/20
Message 16 of 18
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: I trust my family with credit

I had another one where the "customer service rep  " said her employer, a bank  loaned her $4 million dollars because she was cute and sexy.   Dw and I for years as a side line to regular business have worked for most major banks at one time or another when some one  stole any where from a few million dollars to $150 million dollars. We  have been able to quickly and quietly  recover their money. The banks did not use their own employees for what ever reason on these case and  did not want the attention in the news. Beside getting the money back we perpare all the trial exhibits for the bank and testify in Federal Court.  Who done it is easy to figure out  but finding where it went is another story that takes time . But just like  the old Crisco  ads most all the money  comes back now.  I wish a got a per cent of what I got back.  

Message 17 of 18
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: I trust my family with credit


@Subexistence wrote:

My dad has a FICO score of 848. My sister graduated from MIT and she makes 150K per year and has above 800 FICO score. I've added them as AU to help me meet sign-up bonus on Amex BCE. Everything they spent on it was paid off. My dad also gave me 15K because he trusts that I won't recklessly spend it on a fancy car. Right now, the money is earning interest in a high interest money market account. I will invest it in stocks when I've learned more about the stock market and when the time is right.

 

Seriously, this whole sub-forum is about bashing family and friends about being wolfy and selfish. If they have genetic impulse control and they love you enough to not scam you, why not trust them?



Your situation sounds rare although one person I knew for many years did repay her loan in full with interest but we both had everything in writing and understood the terms of the loan no communication issues and she knew I would have taken her to small claims court.
Message 18 of 18
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