Credit Card Center Advertiser Disclosure

Reply
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,675
Registered: ‎06-30-2016
0 Kudos

Re: Info on paying Child Support?


redhed1026 wrote:

My husband sued his ex-wife for child support. He has sole custody (physical and legal) of both of their children. He asked her for a ridiculously low amount ($200 per month) to contribute towards the kids. (Side note: how far would $200 per month go for two kids? But I digress....) She balked, saying she "didn't have any money". At the time, she was making $30k plus per year. Not rich, but not destitute, especially when she had no financial obligation to her kids at the time and she was making extra $ with overtime. Fast forward, husband took her to court and got a child support order. She quit the $30k job (or got fired) and was working in a warehouse for $12ish an hour. Child support was ordered for $500 per month for two kids. In a year's time, she has paid twice. Now, she's so far in arrears, her license is suspended and she will likely be arrested next month for failure to pay (and she lost the warehouse job as well).

 

It's frustrating, because raising two kids is incredibly costly, esp when one drives. $500 per month for two kids is nothing. Even though she doesn't pay, we still have to financially support the kids. Although I am a step-parent, a good portion of my income helps support them. Sadly, since she is in arrears, she doesn't make contact with her children. Prior to being ordered to pay CS, she was the "fun parent". Now, there's no extra money, so she doesn't come around. She doesn't want any of the load that comes with caring for kids- only the "fun" part.

 

We're in MD, if that helps. 


I'm confused... why doesn't she just get garnished? I pay child support to my ex and it comes out of my paycheck and I don't even have to worry about. (Other than the fact that I'm paying it at all after all the bs he's put me through).


EX08 659 EQ08 660 TU08 695 Starting: mid 300'sGoal: 700
Valued Member
Posts: 45
Registered: ‎02-11-2008
0 Kudos

Re: Info on paying Child Support?


lowkeyorca wrote:

redhed1026 wrote:

My husband sued his ex-wife for child support. He has sole custody (physical and legal) of both of their children. He asked her for a ridiculously low amount ($200 per month) to contribute towards the kids. (Side note: how far would $200 per month go for two kids? But I digress....) She balked, saying she "didn't have any money". At the time, she was making $30k plus per year. Not rich, but not destitute, especially when she had no financial obligation to her kids at the time and she was making extra $ with overtime. Fast forward, husband took her to court and got a child support order. She quit the $30k job (or got fired) and was working in a warehouse for $12ish an hour. Child support was ordered for $500 per month for two kids. In a year's time, she has paid twice. Now, she's so far in arrears, her license is suspended and she will likely be arrested next month for failure to pay (and she lost the warehouse job as well).

 

It's frustrating, because raising two kids is incredibly costly, esp when one drives. $500 per month for two kids is nothing. Even though she doesn't pay, we still have to financially support the kids. Although I am a step-parent, a good portion of my income helps support them. Sadly, since she is in arrears, she doesn't make contact with her children. Prior to being ordered to pay CS, she was the "fun parent". Now, there's no extra money, so she doesn't come around. She doesn't want any of the load that comes with caring for kids- only the "fun" part.

 

We're in MD, if that helps. 


I'm confused... why doesn't she just get garnished? I pay child support to my ex and it comes out of my paycheck and I don't even have to worry about. (Other than the fact that I'm paying it at all after all the bs he's put me through).


She currently is unemployed. She was working the warehouse job last summer (for a month or two) and my husband was getting garnished payments. She quit (or got fired from) there. She was an Uber driver for a bit (dismal failure) and then a delivery person or something. She purposely doesn't seek employment so she won't have to pay. I hope the good state of MD will incarcerate her here shortly.

Highlighted
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,675
Registered: ‎06-30-2016
0 Kudos

Re: Info on paying Child Support?


redhed1026 wrote:

lowkeyorca wrote:

redhed1026 wrote:

My husband sued his ex-wife for child support. He has sole custody (physical and legal) of both of their children. He asked her for a ridiculously low amount ($200 per month) to contribute towards the kids. (Side note: how far would $200 per month go for two kids? But I digress....) She balked, saying she "didn't have any money". At the time, she was making $30k plus per year. Not rich, but not destitute, especially when she had no financial obligation to her kids at the time and she was making extra $ with overtime. Fast forward, husband took her to court and got a child support order. She quit the $30k job (or got fired) and was working in a warehouse for $12ish an hour. Child support was ordered for $500 per month for two kids. In a year's time, she has paid twice. Now, she's so far in arrears, her license is suspended and she will likely be arrested next month for failure to pay (and she lost the warehouse job as well).

 

It's frustrating, because raising two kids is incredibly costly, esp when one drives. $500 per month for two kids is nothing. Even though she doesn't pay, we still have to financially support the kids. Although I am a step-parent, a good portion of my income helps support them. Sadly, since she is in arrears, she doesn't make contact with her children. Prior to being ordered to pay CS, she was the "fun parent". Now, there's no extra money, so she doesn't come around. She doesn't want any of the load that comes with caring for kids- only the "fun" part.

 

We're in MD, if that helps. 


I'm confused... why doesn't she just get garnished? I pay child support to my ex and it comes out of my paycheck and I don't even have to worry about. (Other than the fact that I'm paying it at all after all the bs he's put me through).


She currently is unemployed. She was working the warehouse job last summer (for a month or two) and my husband was getting garnished payments. She quit (or got fired from) there. She was an Uber driver for a bit (dismal failure) and then a delivery person or something. She purposely doesn't seek employment so she won't have to pay. I hope the good state of MD will incarcerate her here shortly.


I feel like there are some mental health issues going on here. Maybe she will get the help she needs once she is arrested.

 

I am really sorry to hear about this. Aggravating to say the least. I hope you guys are at least making due with what you have, in spite of her. I really feel for you. :/


EX08 659 EQ08 660 TU08 695 Starting: mid 300'sGoal: 700
Established Member
Posts: 16
Registered: ‎05-04-2017
0 Kudos

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

I am completely disgusted that someone would suggest filing for 50/50 "so that you don't have to pay her anything".
50/50 physical custody is designed to give both parents time with the child, not as way to avoid child support.
In most states child support is a complex formula that factors in not just time with the child but also income of both parents, and costs to support the child including medical and child care costs. But suggesting that it be used to avoid support is wrong, ignorant and most certainly not in the child's best interest.
While I'm sure seeing your money go to your ex is a bitter pill to swallow, that money is being spent on the child and anyone who thinks otherwise clearly has no concept of what it takes to support a child.
Yes, I know there are some rare cases where the moms are crappy moms and use the child support for things other than the kid, but those cases are the exception not the rule.
Shared physical custody can be an awesome thing for a child, but suggesting it be used to stick it to your ex and avoid support undermines the entire idea of 50/50 and undermines the parents seeking shared custody for the right reasons.
Valued Member
Posts: 47
Registered: ‎07-15-2017
0 Kudos

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

First of all I agree with those who say you sould have everything documentd and ordered by the court.  This protects both the payer and the payee.   Everyone knows what is supposed to be paid and what has in fact been paid.

 

In my my ex and I had joint legal custody of our two kids and we each had primary physical custody of one of them.  When we divorced the oldest was 16 and youngest 11.  We let them decide  who they wanted to live with.  Since the ex was/is on social security disability I did not ask for any child support and I paid 20 of my net pay (as my state says I should for 1 child.)  I originally had the child support voluntarly garnished from my wages and the state disbursed it to my ex.  That provides excellent documentaion of both my payment and her reciept of my payment.

 

Then I lost my job, and began making the same payment via check to the state who disbursed it to my ex.   Once my unemployment ran out I went back to court to have the amount lowered due to only working part time.  Court ordered  a reduced amount and I continued making my payments to the state.   As I went back to work full time an my income increased I started writing the check for 20% of my net.  I continued this for a couple of years as I changed jobs several times and wasn't sure if my income was stable or not.   At any time durring this my ex could have gone to court and requested a permanant increase in the child support as all I was ordered to do was the lower amount that was ordered while working part time. 

 

Once my income was stable I went back to court and requested an order of what I sould I pay.  The amount the judge ordered was less than what I figured.  Honestly I think the judge misunderstood me about my commission income.  So I paid to the state silightly more each paycheck than what was ordered and it was then disbursed to my ex.

 

 

My youngest now 17 asked if she could live me.  So I went back to court got the physical custody changed and the child support stoppped via court order.  Now I take half the amount of what I was paying in child support and put it into a savings account for my daughter.  The other half I figure covers the increased utility and grocery bills I have since she is with me all the time. 

 

In addition to the child support when my children either living with me or their mom needed something I provided it to the best of my ability and if it was something they wanted I tried to get that for them also.

 

I have never once had a bad feeling about paying child support.   I am sure their are time my ex used the chilld support for unnecessary things, I am sure I paid for some extras that she really should have taken care of, but if we were still together I would still be supporting my child so why wouldn't I do that when we are not togerther. 


Gardening until March 2018.
New Visitor
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎07-07-2017
0 Kudos

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

If a man asks for alimony from an ex-wife - then he is not a man, but a sucker. And what kind of mother would abandon the children?

Regular Contributor
Posts: 196
Registered: ‎05-16-2015
0 Kudos

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

I have seen men in my life time (My father and My ex) who both refused to pay child support because they did not want to give any money to my mother or I. Neither man could ever be convinced that the money went for the child. Both believed they were funding the lifestyle of the ex.  (rolls eyes) Neither man had any contact with the child, though both tried after the child was 18. Back when my father was supposed to pay child support and was ordered it was not enforced as it is now so when I turned 18 he thought he was scott free and never thought I guess that I would ever connect the way my mother struggled to support me with him not paying. Wrong! I have had to let things go in order to actually have a relationship with the man but that is one thing I think of every single time I look at him and now he is constantly trying to do things for me now I don't want them because it is a little to late. I have moved him into my home as I said in another post but like I said that issue has and will always not sit well with me.

 

My ex only used seeing my child to get to me. Once he found out that I didn't come with my son he stopped paying and wanted nothing to do with my son. My son was 6 when he last saw his father and will be 30 this year. The state has gone after him for back child support. He of course dodges jobs or goes under the table jobs to avoid the state from garnishing. He has lost his licence and still never made an effort to catch up on child support. I to this day get random child support payments. I could not tell you how much he owes still but I would guess the full 12+ years of child support minus a few hundred dollars. As I said my son will be 30 and maybe once every few years I will see that he must have gotten a job or an income tax return because I will get an email that a few dollars has been deposited to my account. I recently got 2 deposits after maybe 10 years starting the first of this year. They were for  0.27 and 0.53  Yep you read that right 27 cents and 53 cents. Why even bother.

 

I went without food a lot of time growing up because my poor mom had to decide roof over our heads and utilities or groceries. I was one of those kids who depended on eating lunch at school for my main meal because I was never sure if we would have anything at home. I was fortunate enough I had grandparents that would help with school clothes and bring groceries when they could. Yup, he really stuck it to her and to this day does not understand how his decision affected my life.

 

I had no help and had to do it on my own. I worked as much as I could and was fortunate enough to be able to bring him to work with me so I did not have to pay daycare costs. We had a roof over our heads and food to eat but sometimes those roofs were not the best places but what I could afford to pay and still make sure we had food as I had learned when I was younger how that worked.  My son watched me struggle over and over and even though I tried very hard not to let him know how much I was struggling he still saw it even at a young age. I met a man and married him who took my son as his own. We were able to provide my son what ever he needed and not struggle but my son was so used to seeing me struggle that even at 8-10 years old he would tell me not to spend money on his school clothes or that we could just go to walmart to get clothes when I tried to take him to the mall. He would give me a detailed Christmas list with what he would like to have but included with his list was prices of items and he would budget out what he wanted and add them items up so he knew if he was asking for to much even though at that point he did not have to do that and do this day it breaks my heart. 

 

I understand being angry at your ex whether male or female. I also understand about that whole income thing where the more you make the more you pay. I don't agree with that even after all I have seen. What I do think is that

 

1) the childs lifestyle before the divorce/split should be considered - Do you want your child to go from upper middle class and comfortable to living in rent controlled housing watching their other parent struggle to put food on the table, clothe them, have time to spend with them rather than working 3 jobs just to try and provide what the child needs so that really the child sees neither parent much. kids see this and it stresses them. Children should live stress free lives they should not have to watch either parent struggle.

 

2) provide good quality medical care. All children should have this. They should be able to go to the doctor or dentist and not have to sit there sick or in pain because the parent can't afford to take them to the doctor. I lost my hearing because I suffered ear aches that my mother could not afford to take me to the doctor when I got infections and I had to sit and suffer until she could afford to take me or I ended up in the ER so sick because we couldn't afford to go to the doctor which of course left her in another financial bind because her credit was gone because of unpaid hospital bills for me.

 

3) Please Please if you take the child 50/50 do it because you want the child 50% of the time not because you don't want to pay more money to the other person. The child knows if you really want them there or not. It can be detrimental to the childs mental state because they see and pick up far more than you will ever know. If you don't want the child all the time suck it up and pay the extra money. Think about your child not your anger hatred for the ex it is not them that suffers it is the child far more trust me. 

 

If you can visit a mediator and draw everything up in writing. Go to court and have it finalized, never ever make verbal agreements. This protects not only you but your child.  Even if you and your ex hate eachother try to be civil in front of the child long drawn out custody battles stress them and as I have said they see and feel far more than you know. By doing this you are setting an example to your child that even though you do not like someone things can be done without screaming, yelling, fighting. As others have said every single thing needs to be on paper whether through a mediator or lawyers and court battle. Child support payments, health care costs, days and exact times each parent has the child leave nothing open for an arguement. This will make your life so much easier in the long run if a problem arises.

 

Please be the best parent you can or want to be for the child, put your feeling aside for your ex and remember this if your flesh and blood. Think about how you'd want to live if you were them. Would you want to be with a parent who you knew really only took you to save money? Would you want to live in places that no child should or have to worry about eating at any given time because sadly adults can figure out what do if they are hungry children can not. If there is no food in the house, well there is no way for that child to go out and find food unless they go to other peoples houses to eat. Would you want to suffer days or weeks with a broken bone, tooth ache, ear ache or any other medical ailement just because your parents could not come to an agreement and neither of them are the ones suffering in pain but it was you?

 

Those are all things to consider. I am very sorry I will step off my soap box now. I really do wish everyone involved the best of luck but I am mainly rooting for the child in this case because they truely are the innocent party in any child support matter.

Forums posts are not provided or commissioned by FICO. Forums posts have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by FICO. It is not FICO's responsibility to ensure all posts and/or questions are answered.

† Advertiser Disclosure: The listings that appear on myFICO are from companies from which myFICO receives compensation, which may impact how and where products appear on myFICO (including, for example, the order in which they appear). myFICO does not review or include all companies or all available products.
‡ Credit cards for FICO Score ranges: The score ranges are guidelines based on internal myFICO analysis of actual applicant approvals, and having a FICO Score in a particular range does not guarantee you will be approved for credit cards recommended in that range. These ranges were not provided by any card issuer.

* For complete information, see the terms and conditions on the credit card issuer’s website. Once you click apply for this card, you will be directed to the issuer’s website where you may review the terms and conditions of the card before applying. While myFICO always strives to present the most accurate information, we show a summary to help you choose a product, not the full legal terms - and before applying you should understand the full terms of products as stated by the issuer itself.

Copyright ©2001-2015 Fair Isaac Corporation. All rights reserved.   | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Sitemap

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: All FICO® Score products made available on myFICO.com include a FICO® Score 8, along with additional FICO® Score versions. Your lender or insurer may use a different FICO® Score than the versions you receive from myFICO, or another type of credit score altogether. Learn more

FICO, myFICO, Score Watch, The score lenders use, and The Score That Matters are trademarks or registered trademarks of Fair Isaac Corporation. Equifax Credit Report is a trademark of Equifax, Inc. and its affiliated companies. Many factors affect your FICO Score and the interest rates you may receive. Fair Isaac is not a credit repair organization as defined under federal or state law, including the Credit Repair Organizations Act. Fair Isaac does not provide "credit repair" services or advice or assistance regarding "rebuilding" or "improving" your credit record, credit history or credit rating. FTC's website on credit.