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Re: Info on paying Child Support?


redhed1026 wrote:

My husband sued his ex-wife for child support. He has sole custody (physical and legal) of both of their children. He asked her for a ridiculously low amount ($200 per month) to contribute towards the kids. (Side note: how far would $200 per month go for two kids? But I digress....) She balked, saying she "didn't have any money". At the time, she was making $30k plus per year. Not rich, but not destitute, especially when she had no financial obligation to her kids at the time and she was making extra $ with overtime. Fast forward, husband took her to court and got a child support order. She quit the $30k job (or got fired) and was working in a warehouse for $12ish an hour. Child support was ordered for $500 per month for two kids. In a year's time, she has paid twice. Now, she's so far in arrears, her license is suspended and she will likely be arrested next month for failure to pay (and she lost the warehouse job as well).

 

It's frustrating, because raising two kids is incredibly costly, esp when one drives. $500 per month for two kids is nothing. Even though she doesn't pay, we still have to financially support the kids. Although I am a step-parent, a good portion of my income helps support them. Sadly, since she is in arrears, she doesn't make contact with her children. Prior to being ordered to pay CS, she was the "fun parent". Now, there's no extra money, so she doesn't come around. She doesn't want any of the load that comes with caring for kids- only the "fun" part.

 

We're in MD, if that helps. 


I'm confused... why doesn't she just get garnished? I pay child support to my ex and it comes out of my paycheck and I don't even have to worry about. (Other than the fact that I'm paying it at all after all the bs he's put me through).


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Re: Info on paying Child Support?


lowkeyorca wrote:

redhed1026 wrote:

My husband sued his ex-wife for child support. He has sole custody (physical and legal) of both of their children. He asked her for a ridiculously low amount ($200 per month) to contribute towards the kids. (Side note: how far would $200 per month go for two kids? But I digress....) She balked, saying she "didn't have any money". At the time, she was making $30k plus per year. Not rich, but not destitute, especially when she had no financial obligation to her kids at the time and she was making extra $ with overtime. Fast forward, husband took her to court and got a child support order. She quit the $30k job (or got fired) and was working in a warehouse for $12ish an hour. Child support was ordered for $500 per month for two kids. In a year's time, she has paid twice. Now, she's so far in arrears, her license is suspended and she will likely be arrested next month for failure to pay (and she lost the warehouse job as well).

 

It's frustrating, because raising two kids is incredibly costly, esp when one drives. $500 per month for two kids is nothing. Even though she doesn't pay, we still have to financially support the kids. Although I am a step-parent, a good portion of my income helps support them. Sadly, since she is in arrears, she doesn't make contact with her children. Prior to being ordered to pay CS, she was the "fun parent". Now, there's no extra money, so she doesn't come around. She doesn't want any of the load that comes with caring for kids- only the "fun" part.

 

We're in MD, if that helps. 


I'm confused... why doesn't she just get garnished? I pay child support to my ex and it comes out of my paycheck and I don't even have to worry about. (Other than the fact that I'm paying it at all after all the bs he's put me through).


She currently is unemployed. She was working the warehouse job last summer (for a month or two) and my husband was getting garnished payments. She quit (or got fired from) there. She was an Uber driver for a bit (dismal failure) and then a delivery person or something. She purposely doesn't seek employment so she won't have to pay. I hope the good state of MD will incarcerate her here shortly.

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Re: Info on paying Child Support?


redhed1026 wrote:

lowkeyorca wrote:

redhed1026 wrote:

My husband sued his ex-wife for child support. He has sole custody (physical and legal) of both of their children. He asked her for a ridiculously low amount ($200 per month) to contribute towards the kids. (Side note: how far would $200 per month go for two kids? But I digress....) She balked, saying she "didn't have any money". At the time, she was making $30k plus per year. Not rich, but not destitute, especially when she had no financial obligation to her kids at the time and she was making extra $ with overtime. Fast forward, husband took her to court and got a child support order. She quit the $30k job (or got fired) and was working in a warehouse for $12ish an hour. Child support was ordered for $500 per month for two kids. In a year's time, she has paid twice. Now, she's so far in arrears, her license is suspended and she will likely be arrested next month for failure to pay (and she lost the warehouse job as well).

 

It's frustrating, because raising two kids is incredibly costly, esp when one drives. $500 per month for two kids is nothing. Even though she doesn't pay, we still have to financially support the kids. Although I am a step-parent, a good portion of my income helps support them. Sadly, since she is in arrears, she doesn't make contact with her children. Prior to being ordered to pay CS, she was the "fun parent". Now, there's no extra money, so she doesn't come around. She doesn't want any of the load that comes with caring for kids- only the "fun" part.

 

We're in MD, if that helps. 


I'm confused... why doesn't she just get garnished? I pay child support to my ex and it comes out of my paycheck and I don't even have to worry about. (Other than the fact that I'm paying it at all after all the bs he's put me through).


She currently is unemployed. She was working the warehouse job last summer (for a month or two) and my husband was getting garnished payments. She quit (or got fired from) there. She was an Uber driver for a bit (dismal failure) and then a delivery person or something. She purposely doesn't seek employment so she won't have to pay. I hope the good state of MD will incarcerate her here shortly.


I feel like there are some mental health issues going on here. Maybe she will get the help she needs once she is arrested.

 

I am really sorry to hear about this. Aggravating to say the least. I hope you guys are at least making due with what you have, in spite of her. I really feel for you. :/


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Re: Info on paying Child Support?

I am completely disgusted that someone would suggest filing for 50/50 "so that you don't have to pay her anything".
50/50 physical custody is designed to give both parents time with the child, not as way to avoid child support.
In most states child support is a complex formula that factors in not just time with the child but also income of both parents, and costs to support the child including medical and child care costs. But suggesting that it be used to avoid support is wrong, ignorant and most certainly not in the child's best interest.
While I'm sure seeing your money go to your ex is a bitter pill to swallow, that money is being spent on the child and anyone who thinks otherwise clearly has no concept of what it takes to support a child.
Yes, I know there are some rare cases where the moms are crappy moms and use the child support for things other than the kid, but those cases are the exception not the rule.
Shared physical custody can be an awesome thing for a child, but suggesting it be used to stick it to your ex and avoid support undermines the entire idea of 50/50 and undermines the parents seeking shared custody for the right reasons.
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Re: Info on paying Child Support?

First of all I agree with those who say you sould have everything documentd and ordered by the court.  This protects both the payer and the payee.   Everyone knows what is supposed to be paid and what has in fact been paid.

 

In my my ex and I had joint legal custody of our two kids and we each had primary physical custody of one of them.  When we divorced the oldest was 16 and youngest 11.  We let them decide  who they wanted to live with.  Since the ex was/is on social security disability I did not ask for any child support and I paid 20 of my net pay (as my state says I should for 1 child.)  I originally had the child support voluntarly garnished from my wages and the state disbursed it to my ex.  That provides excellent documentaion of both my payment and her reciept of my payment.

 

Then I lost my job, and began making the same payment via check to the state who disbursed it to my ex.   Once my unemployment ran out I went back to court to have the amount lowered due to only working part time.  Court ordered  a reduced amount and I continued making my payments to the state.   As I went back to work full time an my income increased I started writing the check for 20% of my net.  I continued this for a couple of years as I changed jobs several times and wasn't sure if my income was stable or not.   At any time durring this my ex could have gone to court and requested a permanant increase in the child support as all I was ordered to do was the lower amount that was ordered while working part time. 

 

Once my income was stable I went back to court and requested an order of what I sould I pay.  The amount the judge ordered was less than what I figured.  Honestly I think the judge misunderstood me about my commission income.  So I paid to the state silightly more each paycheck than what was ordered and it was then disbursed to my ex.

 

 

My youngest now 17 asked if she could live me.  So I went back to court got the physical custody changed and the child support stoppped via court order.  Now I take half the amount of what I was paying in child support and put it into a savings account for my daughter.  The other half I figure covers the increased utility and grocery bills I have since she is with me all the time. 

 

In addition to the child support when my children either living with me or their mom needed something I provided it to the best of my ability and if it was something they wanted I tried to get that for them also.

 

I have never once had a bad feeling about paying child support.   I am sure their are time my ex used the chilld support for unnecessary things, I am sure I paid for some extras that she really should have taken care of, but if we were still together I would still be supporting my child so why wouldn't I do that when we are not togerther. 

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Re: Info on paying Child Support?

If a man asks for alimony from an ex-wife - then he is not a man, but a sucker. And what kind of mother would abandon the children?

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