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Established Member
StrugglingInGA
Posts: 56
Registered: ‎04-23-2010
0

Light at the end of the tunnel

I just thought I would post this since all of my credit problems came from my divorce in 2005. I wasn't working at the time (laid off) and had to scramble to find work. Our house foreclosed (or short sale according to BofA rep). My car was repo'd and I got it back the same week. For the next 4 years I had late payments as I put myself through school and struggled to work at the same time, while raising 3 kids. I had several things go to collections (most were attributed to ex).

 

Finally, in 2009 after keeping my head down and graduating (yes!), I had steady, decent employment. So I turned my attention to all the CRA's. *sobs* They were a mess. Reporting addresses that my ex lived at or lives at, inaccurate SSN's, debts that were never mine, debts that were mine, my car loan had stopped reporting payments made after 2005 (looked like a repo), foreclosure, etc...

 

So I took a deep breath and with my current husband's moral support I began cleaning up what seemed like an impossible mess. I'm happy to say that as of today my reports are showing one stubborn CA and the foreclosure (rolls off 02/2012). All in all, I am pleased. I plan to pull my credit score next month and see what it is. At the beginning of all this, it was 420. :smileysad: 

 

It makes me feel good to think how much I've changed from that divorce. I went from a clueless girl to an independent woman. He left me pretty much destitute and homeless (long story). There were days when I didn't eat because I needed the money to feed my kids. Looking back, it was horrible, but I did it! 

 

Now, if this SouthWest Credit would just take a hike.....oh well. 

Reaching for home ownership in 2010!
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Epic Contributor
haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,115
Registered: ‎04-01-2007
0

Re: Light at the end of the tunnel

Thanks for posting! A great example of the damage that divorce can do to personal credit, and also of how persistence and time can turn things around.

 

Congrats on your graduation and your new happier life!

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
Regular Contributor
dragnldy
Posts: 245
Registered: ‎02-07-2008
0

Re: Light at the end of the tunnel

Congrats!  It feels great to finally be getting out of the mess.  I'm in the same boat.  Finally have only the lates on the mortgage and the car loan to fall off next year and I'm free! 

Ficos
3/7/08 TU-646 EQ-640 EX-650
3/17/09 TU-678 EQ 666
3/20/12 TU- 760 EQ 785
Util almost 0 and baddies all gone! now to gardening!
Valued Member
kayeraven
Posts: 37
Registered: ‎07-29-2010
0

Re: Light at the end of the tunnel

I am also a Georgia woman, divorced in 2007.  My husband got all the gold in the mines, and I got the shaft.  My story isn't anywhere NEAR as horrific as yours, but I "feel you."  Many bouquets for handling this situation as gracefully as you have!, and best of luck.  (I, too, am working to repair a poor fico score.  I am also at 650).

 

Great job.  Good for you!!

 


Starting Score:585
Current Score: EQ 656 TU 680
Goal Score: 700
"No Good Deed Goes Unpunished."


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New Visitor
Narnian70
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎08-18-2010
0

Re: Light at the end of the tunnel

Good for you!  :smileyhappy:

 

My divorce destroyed me financially.  I left my ex-husband in 2005.  I made some very, very stupid mistakes during that relationship.  First, I gave up a great job in management and grad school to move here to help him with his business.  He promised me I'd be able to go to grad school down here.  Once we got married and I moved down here, that changed.  All of a sudden it was "oh, we can't afford grad school right now...you'll have to wait".  

 

My credit score was around 850 when I moved here.  My car was paid off, and I had one credit card with a high limit in great standing.  I moved here and helped him build his chiropractic practice.  I handled all of the marketing and promotions and took care of all of the accounting, etc.    We bought a house, and a few years later, we bought a second house, which we had rezoned and converted into a wellness center.  In the process, I got a "degree" from an unaccredited "natural health" school (he thought it went well with chiropractic) and a hypnotherapy certification.  Well...when we bought the second house, we bought it in my name alone, since he had six-figure student loans and couldn't get credit.   We also opened several credit cards (which he transferred HIS balances to) in my name - again, because he couldn't get credit.

 

When we were ready to open the new wellness center, he told me that he needed all the space and didn't want me there.  Turns out it was because he was having an affair with his receptionist, which I didn't find out until AFTER our divorce was final.   We'd been having problems for awhile, and I'd asked for a separation a few times but he insisted we'd work through things...turns out he was just buying time to get the office up and running, since he needed me to do that.

 

Well....since he was still my employer, I lost my job and my husband the same day.  Believe me, I wasn't upset about either - I saw him for what he was and wanted out long before it finally happened.  But...because I worked for him, I couldn't afford a divorce lawyer.  My parents wanted to give me the money but my pride got in the way and I said no.  I actually made the HUGE mistake of trusting my ex-husband when he said he'd hire a lawyer and would make sure they were fair to me.  Ha!

 

He offered to continue to pay the mortgage for a year if I agreed to NO alimony or child support (we were married for 6 years and have one child).   Again, I let my pride get in the way, and agreed to this.  I'm not sure what I was thinking! 

 

I also ended up with the four credit cards that HE opened that were solely in my name.  That was over $20k in debt!  So there I was, without a job and with tons of debt...I tried to work things out with the largest CC but they wouldn't work with me.  I ended up hiring a consumer advocacy attorney to help me with it.  We got them to reduce the debt and remove it from my credit report.  I slowly paid the rest off. 

 

I went back to school almost 3 years ago, and am planning on starting an MBA program next year. :smileyhappy:  We still jointly own the house (have been trying to sell since late last year), and I talked him into buying me out. 

 

My credit score has gone from the low 500s to close to 700 since the divorce.  Slowly, but surely, I am getting there.  I'm hoping to buy a house next year.

 

I'll never get married again....LOL

Senior Contributor
O6
Posts: 3,626
Registered: ‎10-13-2009
0

Re: Light at the end of the tunnel


Narnian70 wrote:

Good for you!  :smileyhappy:

 

My divorce destroyed me financially.  I left my ex-husband in 2005.  I made some very, very stupid mistakes during that relationship.  First, I gave up a great job in management and grad school to move here to help him with his business.  He promised me I'd be able to go to grad school down here.  Once we got married and I moved down here, that changed.  All of a sudden it was "oh, we can't afford grad school right now...you'll have to wait".  

 

My credit score was around 850 when I moved here.  My car was paid off, and I had one credit card with a high limit in great standing.  I moved here and helped him build his chiropractic practice.  I handled all of the marketing and promotions and took care of all of the accounting, etc.    We bought a house, and a few years later, we bought a second house, which we had rezoned and converted into a wellness center.  In the process, I got a "degree" from an unaccredited "natural health" school (he thought it went well with chiropractic) and a hypnotherapy certification.  Well...when we bought the second house, we bought it in my name alone, since he had six-figure student loans and couldn't get credit.   We also opened several credit cards (which he transferred HIS balances to) in my name - again, because he couldn't get credit.

 

When we were ready to open the new wellness center, he told me that he needed all the space and didn't want me there.  Turns out it was because he was having an affair with his receptionist, which I didn't find out until AFTER our divorce was final.   We'd been having problems for awhile, and I'd asked for a separation a few times but he insisted we'd work through things...turns out he was just buying time to get the office up and running, since he needed me to do that.

 

Well....since he was still my employer, I lost my job and my husband the same day.  Believe me, I wasn't upset about either - I saw him for what he was and wanted out long before it finally happened.  But...because I worked for him, I couldn't afford a divorce lawyer.  My parents wanted to give me the money but my pride got in the way and I said no.  I actually made the HUGE mistake of trusting my ex-husband when he said he'd hire a lawyer and would make sure they were fair to me.  Ha!

 

He offered to continue to pay the mortgage for a year if I agreed to NO alimony or child support (we were married for 6 years and have one child).   Again, I let my pride get in the way, and agreed to this.  I'm not sure what I was thinking! 

 

I also ended up with the four credit cards that HE opened that were solely in my name.  That was over $20k in debt!  So there I was, without a job and with tons of debt...I tried to work things out with the largest CC but they wouldn't work with me.  I ended up hiring a consumer advocacy attorney to help me with it.  We got them to reduce the debt and remove it from my credit report.  I slowly paid the rest off. 

 

I went back to school almost 3 years ago, and am planning on starting an MBA program next year. :smileyhappy:  We still jointly own the house (have been trying to sell since late last year), and I talked him into buying me out. 

 

My credit score has gone from the low 500s to close to 700 since the divorce.  Slowly, but surely, I am getting there.  I'm hoping to buy a house next year.

 

I'll never get married again....LOL


Sorry to hear how terribly you were treated.

 

One thing that may be relevant, your agreement to forego child support is null and void.  You can always waltz back into family court and get an order -- quite likely retroactive -- for child support.

 

Any agreement, contract or writing that offers up receipt of child support for any -- yes, any -- reason is null and void as contrary to public policy.  You do not need to be on public assistance to get your local DSS to help you go into family court to remedy this.

 

By the way, not all men are scum or jerks.  There are some really good ones out there, but we just don't like to change diapers and we will never understand owning more than three pair of shoes at the same time.  :smileyhappy:

IAALBNYL
New Member
pks003
Posts: 3
Registered: ‎03-24-2009
0

Re: Light at the end of the tunnel

if you child is still a minor, I would still go after him for child support.  Neither of you had the right to bargain away the child's rights of financial support from the father.  As a matter of fact, there is lots of case law on this issue. 

Senior Contributor
O6
Posts: 3,626
Registered: ‎10-13-2009
0

Re: Light at the end of the tunnel

[ Edited ]

pks003 wrote:

if you child is still a minor, I would still go after him for child support.  Neither of you had the right to bargain away the child's rights of financial support from the father.  As a matter of fact, there is lots of case law on this issue. 


Yes.  It's called Public Policy.

 

Any contractual stipulation or obligation which, although on its face may seem reasonable and enforceable, contradicts public policy is null and void from the inception. 

 

That said, however, it is not the child's right that was bargained away.  The child himself is not the "owner" of any support awarded or paid.  The support belongs to the child's designated guardian / parent for use as that parent / guardian, in their sole discretion, sees fit. 

IAALBNYL

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