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Valued Contributor
my-own-fico
Posts: 1,122
Registered: ‎01-05-2010

Meet the Marriage Killer

Hint: it's not money.

Psychologists say that many people will talk about anything, even sex, before they'll talk about their finances. Why is it so difficult for us to talk about money? Perhaps because money symbolizes different things to different people, like power, control, security or love.

Oddly enough, the following Wall Street Journal article mentions only the last one of those words. Money and credit are nowhere to be found, but I thought I'd let you know anyway.

Meet the Marriage Killer; It's More Common Than Adultery and Potentially As Toxic, So Why Is It So Hard to Stop Nagging?
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203806504577180811554468728.html

Valued Contributor
ptr2593
Posts: 1,486
Registered: ‎08-14-2011

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

Ha! Good read.

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Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎07-25-2008

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

My guess is most of the people who could benefit from that article wouldn't be bothered to read it, LOL!

 

I've given up on asking DGF why we seem to keep having the same conversation over and over again. Consider this a PSA, Guys: "Please tell me what answer I can give that will make you shut up for five minutes and I'll say it" does not, I repeat, not work. Seriously guys, it will only lead to more talking, LOL!


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izzesparks
Posts: 180
Registered: ‎02-05-2011

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

LOL! you guys are hilarious!

 

just stop giving your girls something to nag about, and they will leave you alone. Also just agree with everything and just say she is right and let it go, lol!!

Also dont kill the messenger :smileywink:


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Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎07-25-2008

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer


izzesparks wrote:

LOL! you guys are hilarious!

 

just stop giving your girls something to nag about, and they will leave you alone. Also just agree with everything and just say she is right and let it go, lol!!

Also dont kill the messenger :smileywink:


I'm no expert but generally feel tolerance leads to resentment.


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Epic Contributor
haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,115
Registered: ‎04-01-2007

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

Plenty of communication works.

 

Making reasonable (as opposed to inconsiderate) requests works.

 

So does not procrastinating when your partner makes this reasonable request. :smileyhappy: I vividly remember whining at my mother about her nagging, and her reply was that if I'd clean my room when I was supposed to, she wouldn't have to keep nagging. I never could come up with a good answer for that one.

 

This works both ways, btw --I have a hard time believing that there are relationships where one party is ALWAYS prompt and responsible, and the other is ALWAYS foot-dragging.

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎07-25-2008

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

Hauling,

 

At some point we must define "reasonable". :smileyhappy:


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haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,115
Registered: ‎04-01-2007

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer


drkaje wrote:

Hauling,

 

At some point we must define "reasonable". :smileyhappy:


EXACTLY!!!!!

 

My own approach, since I'm lazy as sin, is to make roughly the same number and magnitude of requests as are asked of me. If I were to ask someone to climb up on the roof with a used fingernail file and clean out pine needles from between each shingle, I would have to be willing to do the equivalent in return.

 

And since I'm not :smileyvery-happy:, I don't make demands, errr, requests like this.

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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GBPac12
Posts: 252
Registered: ‎12-09-2011

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer


drkaje wrote:

My guess is most of the people who could benefit from that article wouldn't be bothered to read it, LOL!

 

I've given up on asking DGF why we seem to keep having the same conversation over and over again. Consider this a PSA, Guys: "Please tell me what answer I can give that will make you shut up for five minutes and I'll say it" does not, I repeat, not work. Seriously guys, it will only lead to more talking, LOL!


Yayyy!! I can't wait for marriage :smileywink:.


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Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎07-25-2008

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer


GBPac12 wrote:

drkaje wrote:

My guess is most of the people who could benefit from that article wouldn't be bothered to read it, LOL!

 

I've given up on asking DGF why we seem to keep having the same conversation over and over again. Consider this a PSA, Guys: "Please tell me what answer I can give that will make you shut up for five minutes and I'll say it" does not, I repeat, not work. Seriously guys, it will only lead to more talking, LOL!


Yayyy!! I can't wait for marriage :smileywink:.


You may as well give it a shot!! 50/50 chance of things working out. :smileyhappy:


Starting Score: 675
Current Score: EX ? FICO, EQ 708 FICO
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