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Need advice on helping friend

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Anonymous
Not applicable

Need advice on helping friend

Greetings!  I have a good friend who doesn't have a good credit score (because of bancruptsy before) and as a result he's being charged insane APR on his credit cards with a balance of about 15k.  It hurts me to see him pay that much in interest which only sends him further down a hole instead of climbing back up.  I really want to help him by utilizing my good credit and applying for a 0% balance transfer credit card (like Chase) and making him an authorized user so he can tranfer all his balances to this card, and then pay it off.  But I also don't want to be screwed over, which already happened once to me with my own sister.  Is there a possible way to achieve both:  help my friend by letting him put his balances on my card AND protect myself from a possible failure on his part?   He owns a house and a car, if that can be leveraged in some ways.   Any insight or advice would be much appreciated.

 

Thank you.

Message 1 of 14
13 REPLIES 13
iheartwings
Valued Contributor

Re: Need advice on helping friend


@Anonymous wrote:

Greetings!  I have a good friend who doesn't have a good credit score (because of bancruptsy before) and as a result he's being charged insane APR on his credit cards with a balance of about 15k.  It hurts me to see him pay that much in interest which only sends him further down a hole instead of climbing back up.  I really want to help him by utilizing my good credit and applying for a 0% balance transfer credit card (like Chase) and making him an authorized user so he can tranfer all his balances to this card, and then pay it off.  But I also don't want to be screwed over, which already happened once to me with my own sister.  Is there a possible way to achieve both:  help my friend by letting him put his balances on my card AND protect myself from a possible failure on his part?   He owns a house and a car, if that can be leveraged in some ways.   Any insight or advice would be much appreciated.

 

Thank you.


It's great that you want to help your friend, but please understand that what you're proposing puts you in a position to get royally screwed. I think you recognize this, as it's happened with your sister.

 

Making him an AU on a card is just that - he's authorized to use the card. However, YOU are responsible for all charges. Allowing him to transfer his balances to your card means that his debt becomes YOUR debt. If he defaults, it's YOUR credit that gets ruined, and the debt is YOURS. I don't know your good friend, and I'm sure he's a great guy, but when it comes to money, you'll see all kinds of posts where people learn that you should never lend money to friends and family expecting to ever see it again.

 

@While he has $15,000 debt and high APRs, you haven't mentioned what he has done to accelerate payments or change his habits (Not being judgemental here - I filed for BK7 over 9 years ago, and I realized I needed to get my @#$ together when I found myself going back down that path.) Is he still charging on his cards? 

 

An possible alternative could be to see if he could get a consolidation loan through a bank or CU. Even using peer-to-peer lending like LendingClub may allow him to get a loan with more favorable terms.

 

Hope this helps. 

Message 2 of 14
RonM21
Valued Contributor

Re: Need advice on helping friend

+1 Completely agree with the above. It's nice to want to help, but your can be the loser on this one.


Total CL: $321.7kUTL: 2%AAoA: 7.0yrsBaddies: 0Other: Lease, Loan, *No Mortgage, All Inq's from Jun '20 Car Shopping

BoA-55k | NFCU-45k | AMEX-42k | DISC-40.6k | PENFED-38.4k | LOWES-35k | ALLIANT-25k | CITI-15.7k | BARCLAYS-15k | CHASE-10k

Message 3 of 14
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Need advice on helping friend

Thank you very much for the tips, I'll definitely check out LendingClub.  I do realize all the responsibilities of making my friend an AU, which is why I'm reaching out for ideas to see if there's a way to accomplish both: help and protect myself.  His spending habits are OK.  He's got adult children whose he's helping, which is the most unpredictable variable here.  If their car breaks down, he "loans" the money to fix it, but of course nevers sees it again. That "loan" now is on his credit card with high APR.   We definitely would have conditions to pay out this credit card, but who knows what the future brings.  I was thinking maybe he could make a coowner of his car or even a house, something like that, until he pays off the card.  Just looking for ideas.  Thank you again!

Message 4 of 14
UncleB
Credit Mentor

Re: Need advice on helping friend


@Anonymous wrote:

Thank you very much for the tips, I'll definitely check out LendingClub.  I do realize all the responsibilities of making my friend an AU, which is why I'm reaching out for ideas to see if there's a way to accomplish both: help and protect myself.  His spending habits are OK.  He's got adult children whose he's helping, which is the most unpredictable variable here.  If their car breaks down, he "loans" the money to fix it, but of course nevers sees it again. That "loan" now is on his credit card with high APR.   We definitely would have conditions to pay out this credit card, but who knows what the future brings.  I was thinking maybe he could make a coowner of his car or even a house, something like that, until he pays off the card.  Just looking for ideas.  Thank you again!


+1

 

Lots of good advice here... I was actually neutral and not even going to reply until this post where you mention he's in debt from helping his children - that's a big red flag. 

 

From past experience I can confidently say that if you were to work a 'deal' and pay off his debt and one of his children had a need in the future, he would most likely either use the newly PIF card to help them again, or simply give them money before paying you back - the precedent is already set.  I'm not saying he's a bad person, simply that you don't want to be the excuse for him not being able to continue to help his children (or worse, not get paid back).

 

There's an old saying, "Before you borrow money from a friend, decide which you need worse - the money, or the friend." 

There's a lot of truth to that.  Smiley Wink

Message 5 of 14
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Need advice on helping friend

The reason your friend pays high interest is because he is high risk.  More than likely, more than 50% chance, you will not get paid back and you will lose the friend.  If that doesn't change your mind you could write up a loan agreement and have it secured by his home and by his car.  Then when he doesn't pay you back and you lose the friend you will have a better chance of at least getting your money back.  

 

It it sounds like your friend has chosen a lifestyle of overspending and his financial problem results from behaviors.  You lending him money will only make that problem worse because you will be supporting the poor behaviors.

Message 6 of 14
Appleman
Valued Contributor

Re: Need advice on helping friend

Has he asked you for help? If he has not, not sure I would make such an offer. 

 

If he is the one that came to you and asked for some help, I would at least consider the possibilities of helping him.

 

Good luck

Message 7 of 14
Broke_Triathlete
Valued Contributor

Re: Need advice on helping friend


@Anonymous wrote:

Greetings!  I have a good friend who doesn't have a good credit score (because of bancruptsy before) and as a result he's being charged insane APR on his credit cards with a balance of about 15k.  It hurts me to see him pay that much in interest which only sends him further down a hole instead of climbing back up.  I really want to help him by utilizing my good credit and applying for a 0% balance transfer credit card (like Chase) and making him an authorized user so he can tranfer all his balances to this card, and then pay it off.  But I also don't want to be screwed over, which already happened once to me with my own sister.  Is there a possible way to achieve both:  help my friend by letting him put his balances on my card AND protect myself from a possible failure on his part?   He owns a house and a car, if that can be leveraged in some ways.   Any insight or advice would be much appreciated.

 

Thank you.


How long ago was his BK? Reason being is most people learn from their BK and don't go down that path again and he is already at $15K in the hole again? He's paying a high interested because he's a high risk and proving to the CC companies that he is. I would not help this person because you would be set to take the fall (more than likely will) and there's nothing legally you could do to make him responsible if you put it on YOUR card. If you want to help make him an AU and have the card shipped. Once it arrives, activate it and shred it. From the limited information I know about this person it will not end well for you. ESPECIALLY since you already went through something similar with your sister. You know how this works already, unfortunately. I wish I could help you justify what you're trying to do (which is very noble BTW). He had a second shot already after his BR (when his name and credit was being affected) and he's right back to where he was at before (or similar). Why do you think he would clean up his act this go around when he's not liable for anything after you take on the liability???

Personal:

Business:


Message 8 of 14
IOBA
Senior Contributor

Re: Need advice on helping friend

Lots of things being said here...

 

After BK, he should be taking care of rebuilding his credit, not going into debt.  

 

Helping his kids - I get the want to help them, but he does have to put his foot down and say no.  He has to take care of himself, before he can help his kids.  It's been tough sometimes, but we have had to help the kids (adult children) find their own way financially.  Lol.  We just had lunch with two of them this past weekend.  We do separate checks.  Their bill (2 people) $48.  Our bill (2 people) $20.  Kinda illustrates the difference we have in eating out spending.

 

I am in favor of helping him realize that he needs to take care of his financially needs FIRST.  He needs to pay off his debt and build a savings.  Then, and only AFTER then, can he help his kids if can afford to "give" them the money.  He should also be helping them find alternative ways to solve their financial problems.

 

Once I started telling my parents no, I was not loaning them money, they found other ways (other people and actually using their own money) to pay for those things they thought I would loan them money for.  

Message 9 of 14
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Need advice on helping friend

Best way you can help your friend is show him how to make a budget, show him myfico forums, and teach him about being responsible.  I have a great friend too, but he is irresponsible with money he always pays me back, but his ex sucks him dry for money and he just shrugs his shoulders and takes the money hit over and over.  Point is you wanting to help him is only helping the symptom, the disease is still there and he is the only one who can cure it.  You give a poor man a fish and you feed him for a day. You teach him to fish and you give him an occupation that will feed him for a lifetime.”

Message 10 of 14
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