Need help! bought a car with boyfriend!!!

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much. This is horrible!!!

[Anonymous]

I had the same experience, only my ex at the time financed a car for me, 72 months @ $625/mo ($41,000 MSRP). I did not have good credit at the time and we had been together for over 8 years, she put the car in her name. BIG MISTAKE for me...Mind you, we had several credit cards (in her name) which I was an AU on, that I paid on time, every single month as well. I was the one who literally got her credit to what it was, mid 700's. She had access to my bank account info, etc..nothing was a secret. 

Long story short, After about 3 years of owning the car and making payments on time, we went through some rough patches in our relationship and we ended the relationship. I ended up just ignoring her attempts to 'talk' to me again and work things out, which I did not want to as i saw that relationship going downhill. She got up one night, decided to drive to my house and demand the keys to my car. Mind you, even after breaking up (3 months into it) I still paid the car on time along with the credit cards. She made a big ol scene and demanded I give her the keys to the car since it's 'her' car..I was livid.

We argued for a bit and cops showed up since she decided to call them. I asked her nicely to let me take my belongings from the car and put all the factory stuff back in it and that I would give her the car the next morning, nope....that didn't fly with her. Made a huge scene, cops came and basically told me that I have to give her the keys since it is under her name...it could have gotten a lot worse, i.e. her reporting it stolen and me driving it. But that was a lesson learned for me, never again. 

Good luck with your ex and hopefully things work out for the better and in your favor. 

[Anonymous]

So sorry you have to deal with this! I will keep you in my thoughts and please update us.

[mariposa7678]

ugh!! I just refinanced my car and it was under by ex husband but I refinance it under my name, the new bank did not asked me for the other person at all. 

anyway sorry, good luck

[TitaniumCash]

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Co-signing is scary, even for family members or significant others. Is there a way you let things settle down a bit and then gently talk to him about a compromise that is fair and reasonable? If he wants the car, perhaps he could contribute 50% of the payment or you could offer him something until your credit gets better enough to re-finance? The thing about life is, sometimes we make the mistakes we do and it is forver sharply ingrained into our memories so you will not make the same one again and also can use it as experience to help other people later on when they are traversing through something similar. So don't beat yourself too much over it.  Just tread carefully and try to be formal and nice, maybe he will have some decency left.

[ms_cora]

Just went through this exact same thing!!! I literally just got my car back (I say my car because I made every payment) ex took my set of keys off of my key ring in the middle of an argument (who does that we weren't even arguing about the car) then packed his clothes in MY CAR and went to another state.

1st thing 1st THERE AREN'T ANY LAWS FOR COSIGNERS
2. Contact the lender and see if they provide title servicing (I was able to go through my lenders third party title servicer to have his name removed, they also provided me with a copy of the new title with my name only) once the local tag office got the new title they issued a new tag and registration in my name only!!!
3. With those documents in hand I had the option to have it repo'd from his house or have a officer go with me (I was advised that the officer could not make him give me the keys and to have a locksmith on stand-by)

Another option would be replevin. This is filed through the court and they basically decide who gets to keep the car. I did not chose this option because it would have cost me around $300 and he made it very clear if he couldn't have the car (while I made the payment & and insurance) then he would destroy it and leave me on the hook for the loan (he's unemployed *reason for the argument that started of of this*)

I chose the 1st option I mentioned and found one of those law abiding citizen type towing company's *wink* to pick up the car and take it to a safe place to have the locksmith rekey it. I did not go with the tow company because I feared for my safety....but I was told he tried to take a hammer to my radio and cut the tires...lol

Inbox me if you need help

Sorry about the typos I'm super passionate about this subject! Lol

[northface28]

Good luck, I co-signed for a family member which led me to file BK. Avoid a repo and judgement if at all possible. Hope this works out for you.

[Existentialist]

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@Anonymous wrote:
I have learned not to ever do this again! Soooo stupid of me. Especially when I am working on getting my own credit healthy again.

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Take a deep breath....

Dont beat yourself up over this situation. As is everything in life - this is a learning experience... an unfortunate one yes... but one from which U can recover. Honestly... and its pretty much been echoed by other members that your options here are limited bcuz without his cooperation... you're left to your own accord.

Many ppl simply dont consider what could happen if things dont work out. Luv is a wonderful thing until the day that it isnt. And it doesnt matter if its boy/girl friend, bro/sis, parent, best friend or whomever. Protecting your own interests doesnt make U any less loving it simply makes U smart. Its why we hav pre-nup agreements. Self preservation is (and always will be) the first law of nature.

Unless theres a ring on it and youre on your way down the aisle no way you should even be contemplating co-signing anything bcuz this is what can happen. Sure some ppl are informed enuff to hammer out agreements without the benefit of marriage but its so rare I'm not even going to suggest it as a viable option. Never again allow luv to override reason cuz luv dont pay the bills. I hate seeing ppl suffer (even when oftentimes its due to their own naivety) but sometimes we need to fall down in order to learn how to stand up.... correctly.

Stay strong. As bad as things seem right now I kid U not when I say things actually couldve been worse. And better U find out now that the relationship was a bust. Do u know how many ppl find out they're in an incompatible relationship AFTER the I do's? Too many (lol). Not gonna lie either... you're likely going to hurt for some time behind this even after this situation is resolved. But life is nothing if not a journey and u should come away a much wiser person for having gone thru this.

Take another deep breath....

Now go handle your bizness.

[Anonymous]

Get your keys back and sell the car. Since it says or instead of and, either kne of you can sell it.

[Anonymous]

Oh boy... I knew where this thread was headed before I opened the thread.  Fact is, something like 50% of marriages don't work out.  The numbers on premarital relationships can't be much better.  Unless she's my wife or we are engaged, I'm not signing her name on anything that's mine.. The solution has been mentioned in this thread, BUT it's a huge pain in the ass.

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@Anonymous wrote:

Get your keys back and sell the car. Since it says or instead of and, either kne of you can sell it.

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Sell the car.  As much as it sucks not having transportation, it'll be much better selling the car than having him sell the car and sticking you with the loan.  Plus, you'll have fun shopping for new transportation, and will probably get better rates than when you first got the car.  best of luck!  Don't be too hard on yourself, but try to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and learn from the experience.  And stop selfish {Mod cut}