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Established Contributor
casmith1980
Posts: 633
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Not a spouse story....but family instead

You guys have made me consider the approach that I planned on taking with my sister...I've been internally struggling over this for far too long, and you guys are right to say it's better just to take the high road and cut ties financially.

 

BUT, just to clear things up, nobody in my family believes that I SHOULDN'T file a claim (again, I'm not the only one who has been financially taken for a ride).  There will be no love lost if I were to pursue that option for the following reasons:

 

Mom:  spent over $2k between paying rent, bailing out of jail, co-signed on a truck that was repossessed, etc.  Never has been paid back.

Grandpa:  sent $900 for rent that was "promised" to be paid back....he sadly passed away a year and a half ago.  Never was paid back.

Dad & Stepmom:  co-signed for an apartment, paid 3 months rent, bought clothes for "professional" job.  Sister was evicted from apartment for not paying.  Never has been paid back.

Aunts & Uncles:  countless times have given sister money to assist her with getting on her feet again.  Never have been paid back.

 

I have to say, my twin sister is probably the most intelligent in our family - she's the only one who has never offered any assistance or fallen for the pathological lies. 

 

My husband is a great man for sticking with me while I battled this internally....and I vow to NOT allow her to change the type of person I am.  I now know in the future to only help people that help themselves.  My sister has given me no proof that she has changed, and quite frankly, I doubt she ever will.  In her mind, she feels entitled to all of this financial assistance.

 

So....since I'm not going to file the small claims suit, should I send the occassionaly "u have my $ yet" text :smileyvery-happy:  lol

EQ Fico 2009 500's
TU Fico 2009 500's

EQ Fico 04/10/2012 663 (SW alert)
TU Fico 04/13/2012 653 (Walmart)

Goal: 760 by 12/2013 and close on my first house :smileyvery-happy:

Goal - 720 by 12/31/12
Valued Contributor
IOBA
Posts: 2,659
Registered: ‎08-13-2009

Re: Not a spouse story....but family instead

Another thought...who else has sued her for not paying?    No one?   So she knows she won't have any consequences for not paying her bills.

 

Going to court might make a small difference.  It should smack her upside her head with the strong message that you have had enough.   

 

Let us know what you are thinking of doing...

 

 

Established Contributor
casmith1980
Posts: 633
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Not a spouse story....but family instead


IOBA wrote:

Another thought...who else has sued her for not paying?    No one?   So she knows she won't have any consequences for not paying her bills.

 

Going to court might make a small difference.  It should smack her upside her head with the strong message that you have had enough.   

 

Let us know what you are thinking of doing...

 

 


That right there was one reason why I was going to take her to court...BUT, I am not her mother nor am I her financial adviser so it wouldn't be "right" of me to try to teach her a lesson (that she obviously hasn't learned in 37 years)  :smileysad:

 

I think I'll just drop it and learn from it.  It's caused me so much time that I'll never get back.  live and learn I suppose

EQ Fico 2009 500's
TU Fico 2009 500's

EQ Fico 04/10/2012 663 (SW alert)
TU Fico 04/13/2012 653 (Walmart)

Goal: 760 by 12/2013 and close on my first house :smileyvery-happy:

Goal - 720 by 12/31/12
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FrugalRican
Posts: 2,876
Registered: ‎02-02-2012

Re: Not a spouse story....but family instead


casmith1980 wrote:

 

So....since I'm not going to file the small claims suit, should I send the occassionaly "u have my $ yet" text :smileyvery-happy:  lol



This will only add to your agony, honestly. You'll start getting upset if she doesn't even answer.

 

Honestly, your family needs to get together and decide "Enough is enough" and agree to not give her anymore money and they all need to stand by this decision, or else she will continue to get away with this.

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Established Contributor
casmith1980
Posts: 633
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Not a spouse story....but family instead

The good news (if you will) is that everyone in my family have firmly decided to STOP giving money, lending money, or falling for anymore of the lies...

 

I suppose I will go back to my old optimistic self and just think "at least the repossession is off my reports now, and the verizon account is PIF and she can no longer have any financial pull on me".

 

(I still feel like throwing a temper tantrum at times because of my stupidity)

EQ Fico 2009 500's
TU Fico 2009 500's

EQ Fico 04/10/2012 663 (SW alert)
TU Fico 04/13/2012 653 (Walmart)

Goal: 760 by 12/2013 and close on my first house :smileyvery-happy:

Goal - 720 by 12/31/12
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Epic Contributor
haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,115
Registered: ‎04-01-2007

Re: Not a spouse story....but family instead

It's not stupid to be good-hearted and want to help family.

One thing that I would caution you AND your family, though: please freeze your reports. She probably knows your socials etc, and I think that an honest and realistic reflection will show that she might well try to access your credit, now that she's being cut off.
* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
Established Contributor
casmith1980
Posts: 633
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Not a spouse story....but family instead

great point!!!!  I will definitely do that (and recommend my family does it as well).

 

 

It does suck to be screwed over by someone, especially family, but I refuse to allow her to taint my view on others.  I enjoy helping people...I just now know not to do it for people who aren't willing to help themselves.

EQ Fico 2009 500's
TU Fico 2009 500's

EQ Fico 04/10/2012 663 (SW alert)
TU Fico 04/13/2012 653 (Walmart)

Goal: 760 by 12/2013 and close on my first house :smileyvery-happy:

Goal - 720 by 12/31/12

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