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Not married and buying a home

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WayUpto850
New Contributor

Re: Not married and buying a home

NACA is a great program!! I wish you well in achieving your goal of becoming a home owner.  I would contact a family law attorney. And be advised that even with a will, property can go through the courts and probate - it is my understanding after years of probate and court fees, there may not be much left over for your heirs.  If you want to avoid the courts and probate, then it is my understanding that a Living Trust provides that shelter.

 

Best wishes in blending your families also,

 

##Gardening until Dec 2017##

"I commit to being grateful for all that I now have in my life."

Beginning Apr 2017 FICO 575
Feb 2018 FICO 701
Message 11 of 18
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Not married and buying a home

You have made the right decision I think. Because a new house is needed. Though you are living with one already. But you have 2 childrens you said. And for your great future another will definitely add extra pleasure in mind. Carry on!

Message 12 of 18
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Not married and buying a home

My boyfriend and I are buying a house together too. We don't have children, but with the title you can have it in both of your names with rights of survivorship. Then just make sure it's in at least one of your wills that it goes to the kids. 

 

Message 13 of 18
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Not married and buying a home


@Anonymous wrote:

My Significant Other  and myself have been together for several years. we currently live together with our two adult children. I have been married before so im not really intrested in getting married again. its been my plan to buy a house before im 40 so that leaves me 4 more years to get it togther.  I have a great paying job, no credit card debt ( only student loans and car note). So im able to save about 700 dollars a month towards a down payment. but on the other hand my SO doesnt make as much and isnt good with saving. If by the time im ready to buy what will happen if my SO doesnt have the same amount of down payment?  we are looking into NACA so we dont have to have a down payment but If we are not married and something happens to one of us does that mean our adult  children have rights to the house?  Im ok with purchasing the house myself but im not sure how buying the house myself will cause stress in our relationship.  I love my SO but im not willing to give up my dream of home ownership. Not sure what i should do


I've purchased a property with my SO. We're also not married and not interested in becoming married. We've worked out a solution by creating an equity share agreement. Since he has more assets than I (he's older than me), he's able to contribute more down payment funds than I at this point in time. We had an attorney create a document that spells out specifically how assets would be divided in case of split, buyout, death, etc.. Essentially the agreement supersedes a will for items pertaining to split owned properties under such an agreement. He 100% financed the last property we purchased. I split the monthly mortgage, insurance, taxes, etc. and my equity in the property builds monthly. However, I'm not on the title and the property doesn't report on my taxes. I'll probably 100% finance the next one to take advantage of the tax benefits. This allows us to maximize the number of properties we can finance while protecting our investment in the properties when not being included on the title itself. The equity split documents are notarized. We each keep a copy along with our attorneys. Also to note, we also own rental properties independently. 

Message 14 of 18
helaurin
New Contributor

Re: Not married and buying a home

This:  "I also read some place that if someone is living in a home and contributing to the mortgage, if you are not married they still can have claim to your home."

 

Is absolutely correct, depends on the state laws, which can change without you knowing.  Happened to me. 

 

I was married twice.  Hell will probably freeze over before I ever marry again. 

 

Husband #1 and I bought a home together - both on the mortgage, both on the deed. Then we had a child. Then his mother sent him on a religious retreat, he met another devout person of his religion, flew her off to Las Vegas, married her and then came back asking for a separation. His new wife had told him her family was wealthy, so he signed over his interest in the house, skipped out on any child support, and then took off for parts unknown.  

 

Frankly, it was stupid of me, I was emotionally not in a good space... but about a year later married husband #2.  I did check with an attorney before the marriage to ask if this marriage went bad, if he would have any rights to any part of the house. I was told no - if he's not on the deed, not on the mortgage, and not contributing to the mortgage, there was no risk. Husband #2 moved in to the house I owned. He did not contribute to the mortgage, wasn't on the deed, wasn't on the mortgage.. but when we eventually divorced, he requested half of the value of the house plus spousal support (he'd quit working in the career he'd had when we first married, and later decided he wasn't working more than ten hours a week - basically enough to keep him supplied with alcohol, cigarettes, etc.)   I found out at that point that the laws had changed, and he was actually entitled, as the lower-income person of the marriage, to 60% of the increase in the value of the house for the prior 10 years (the length of our marriage), about 40% of my salary for the next two years, and some portion of what little I'd saved for retirement.  

 

I was in shock. There was no way I could keep my house if I had to give him 40% of my salary, let alone give him 60% of the prior ten year's increase in value.  In the end, he agreed to a lesser amount (I also agreed to not file criminal charges for certain things he had done, but was given a protection from abuse order).

 

If hell freezes over, and if I ever consider marrying again.... I will not rely on whatever the existing law is at the time, but will protect my interest if I'm the sole property owner with a prenup or similar contractual agreement.  I'm in a relationship now, not married, but my boyfriend is technically a renter and signed a lease agreement to that effect... so if he ever decides to leave and tries to claim partial ownership of my house, it's not happening. 

 


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Message 15 of 18
A1Credit
Established Contributor

Re: Not married and buying a home


@helaurin wrote:

This:  "I also read some place that if someone is living in a home and contributing to the mortgage, if you are not married they still can have claim to your home."

 

Is absolutely correct, depends on the state laws, which can change without you knowing.  Happened to me. 

 

I was married twice.  Hell will probably freeze over before I ever marry again. 

 

Husband #1 and I bought a home together - both on the mortgage, both on the deed. Then we had a child. Then his mother sent him on a religious retreat, he met another devout person of his religion, flew her off to Las Vegas, married her and then came back asking for a separation. His new wife had told him her family was wealthy, so he signed over his interest in the house, skipped out on any child support, and then took off for parts unknown.  

 

Frankly, it was stupid of me, I was emotionally not in a good space... but about a year later married husband #2.  I did check with an attorney before the marriage to ask if this marriage went bad, if he would have any rights to any part of the house. I was told no - if he's not on the deed, not on the mortgage, and not contributing to the mortgage, there was no risk. Husband #2 moved in to the house I owned. He did not contribute to the mortgage, wasn't on the deed, wasn't on the mortgage.. but when we eventually divorced, he requested half of the value of the house plus spousal support (he'd quit working in the career he'd had when we first married, and later decided he wasn't working more than ten hours a week - basically enough to keep him supplied with alcohol, cigarettes, etc.)   I found out at that point that the laws had changed, and he was actually entitled, as the lower-income person of the marriage, to 60% of the increase in the value of the house for the prior 10 years (the length of our marriage), about 40% of my salary for the next two years, and some portion of what little I'd saved for retirement.  

 

I was in shock. There was no way I could keep my house if I had to give him 40% of my salary, let alone give him 60% of the prior ten year's increase in value.  In the end, he agreed to a lesser amount (I also agreed to not file criminal charges for certain things he had done, but was given a protection from abuse order).

 

If hell freezes over, and if I ever consider marrying again.... I will not rely on whatever the existing law is at the time, but will protect my interest if I'm the sole property owner with a prenup or similar contractual agreement.  I'm in a relationship now, not married, but my boyfriend is technically a renter and signed a lease agreement to that effect... so if he ever decides to leave and tries to claim partial ownership of my house, it's not happening. 

 



Wow! What a story.  I'm sorry that you had to go through that and I hope you are now in a much better place.  He took advantage of your vulnerability.

 

I understand that everyone is different, but I would never buy a home with someone that I am not married to.  A commitment is a commitment, no matter if it's marriage or a home.

***Gardening 3/29/2018 until 9/25/2018***

FICO 8 Scores: EQ~692 l TU~657 l EX~669
Message 16 of 18
helaurin
New Contributor

Re: Not married and buying a home

Thanks. That's the bare bones of it.   When I bought the house, I was married.  When I married a seond time, I (and the bank) was the sole owner of the house. It was quite a shock to find out that spouse #2 was entitled to some of it, simply for having lived there as my spouse.  Currently, I am in a different house (sold the old one, purchased a different home). Again, I am the sole owner of the house, and hopefully, there won't be any problems if my boyfriend ever leaves... the lease is hoepfully enough protection.

 


Starting Score: 2014 775
Current Score: 822
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Message 17 of 18
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Not married and buying a home

I also live with my woman for 7 years unmarried, we have two children, each has its own apartment, but when we decide to buy a house, then we will get married, and the initiative will come from me.

Message 18 of 18
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