Old CC with the Ex

[Simply827]

So I find myself in a bit of a moral dilemma. I was an AU on one of my exes CCs for the past 2.5 years. We broke up close to 2 years ago. I made charges on the card, as did she, but I am just about done paying everything off that I charged. I've been the only one paying on the card for the whole time. She's only made one payment of 2K on the card and that was close to when the card was first opened. Essentially I've been making sure at least the minumums are paid so that the card remains in good standing.

Unfortunately, I can't afford to do that anymore as my student loan payments are going up. I have 80K of my own debt and I can't be paying her's out of goodwill. Part of me feels badly since she's had it rough the past few years (getting kicked out of med school, not having stable employment, cancer, family disowning her), but part of me doesn't since I've been paying on the card for so long and not once did she even offer 20 bucks to put toward the balance.

I know this is something I need to discuss with her, but I know it's going to end up being one huge argument, and I'm going to feel like a jerk even more. I thought about that "insurance" you can pay on your CC in case of job loss, etc, but I'm not sure if it can be added at this point. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation?

[JM-AM]

If you were an AU on the card, then you can have the card removed from your credit reports, with no obligation to pay on the card.

I am not sure what the reality is towards who put what debt on the card, and what was paid and not paid as there are always 2 sides to every story and then there is the truth.

If you paid your financilal share of what you used including interest, then I see no reason to keep paying. But if you are assuming you paid what you used plus interest, then you actually need to see statements and come to a fair settlement between you 2.

While technically you are not responsible for the debt since you were only an AU, I believe in doing the right thing. I am not a fan of KARMA.

[Simply827]

I went through all of the statements and added up my charges and added interest. I know I'm not responsible for it, I just feel badly about leaving her in the lurch knowing she may not be in a position to handle the payments. 

[drkaje]

Why isn't she making any payments?

If your debt is paid and the card is AU (and not joint), cancel it and move on. I'd call and let her know but only out of courtesy.

[Simply827]

She was a med student, but she got kicked out and AFAIK she hasn't found any real employment. But that's not my problem anymore and I've done all that I can. I'm calling tonight to let her know it's on her now. I checked the Citi website and didn't see any mention of that insurance in case of job loss. Welp..

[p-]

If you're getting statements in the mail, do they have your name on them?  Better make sure you are an Authorized User and not a Joint Cardholder.  If it was a Joint account then you are on the hook until it's paid.

If you are only an AU, go online and change the statement delivery so she gets it, and do her the courtesty of calling to tell her that your debt is paid and the rest is her responsibility.  If you want to do a little more to ease your own concience, pay the next minimum payment so she has time to come up with the money.

Good luck with that one, doesn't sound fun.

[Simply827]

I was only an AU and I've already been removed. I'll pay next month's bill to give her some more time.

I'm not looking forward to it. I'm sure I'll be called all kinds of $#^&# and ()^T$$%$#.

This situation definitely gives me pause about comingling finances in the future. Thanks for the advice everyone.

[p-]

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@Simply827 wrote:

I was only an AU and I've already been removed. I'll pay next month's bill to give her some more time.

I'm not looking forward to it. I'm sure I'll be called all kinds of $#^&# and ()^T$$%$#.

This situation definitely gives me pause about comingling finances in the future. Thanks for the advice everyone.

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Yup.  Good luck.

[drkaje]

Take this with a grain of salt: Call Citi and ask for a printed, full breakdown of all your charges and interest. Take that and be triple sure you don't owe them a dime. If both cards had the same number they may not be able to provide such information. Amex can tell an ACM what their charges are, to the penny.

Just saying to cover your own butt.

[JM-AM]

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@drkaje wrote:

Take this with a grain of salt: Call Citi and ask for a printed, full breakdown of all your charges and interest. Take that and be triple sure you don't owe them a dime. If both cards had the same number they may not be able to provide such information. Amex can tell an ACM what their charges are, to the penny.

Just saying to cover your own butt.

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AMEX is a whole different world when it comes to their credit cards and approvals.

AMEX usually even though you are an AU will still come after you for what you used for non payment. Has also been incidents where they never went after the original card holder but I wouldnt count on it, so YMMV.