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So depressed about my situation...UPDATE!!!!!

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MTSN
Regular Contributor

Re: So depressed about my situation...

To add, 44 is YOUNG! You have a lot to look forward to in the future, and honestly you shouldn't waste it on people who don't value you. It sounds to me like the "800 Club" dude is probably full of it and constantly looks for excuses with everyone he dates to avoid settling down. Sounds like he's the one missing out, so keep on your plan to repair your financial health, make sure you stay physically, mentally, spiritually active, stay positive and enjoy life! There are loads of people all over the place that will make a much better match for you!

Message 11 of 33
pizza1
Community Leader
Super Contributor

Re: So depressed about my situation...

Thank you everyone for the kind comments and encouragementSmiley Happy much appreciated!!
Message 12 of 33
MissMoni223
Senior Contributor

Re: So depressed about my situation...

Hi Pizza!  Let me start out by saying that you don't need that guy or anyone else who doesn't value you beyond your credit score.  You deserve so much better than that!  Remember YOU are the prize!  A woman should NEVER chase a man, he should be the one going after you. Focus on getting yourself together and the RIGHT man for you will find you.  Love yourself enough to not get hung up on someone who could really care less. It's never too late to start a NEW beginning!!! Smiley Happy

Gardening Until Further Notice
15 Credit Cards (12 Major Banks & 3 Store Cards)
Message 13 of 33
starry1
Valued Contributor

Re: So depressed about my situation...

I'm sorry you're having to go through this piza, but I agree with everyone else who says move on.  Its his problem, not yours.  You are wonderful as you are and a credit score just doesn't identify who you are.


Starting Score: 11/29/12 TU 527; EQ 565; EX 564 fako - bk7 dc'd 2/15/13
Current Score: 1/22/15 TU 645; EQ 605; EX 633 New goal 675
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Message 14 of 33
subwaysandwich
Frequent Contributor

Re: So depressed about my situation...

He's being a douch3. you deserve someone better

Message 15 of 33
bdhu2001
Valued Contributor

Re: So depressed about my situation...

Okay his statement is ridiculous and you've already been advised of that.  Based on http://ficoforums.myfico.com/t5/Understanding-FICO-Scoring/Equifax-FICO-08-percentiles/td-p/3174618/... , he's stating he'll only marry someone who's in the top 17% of credit users.  Does he also have the same high standards for IQ and income?  

 

Is he in the top 17% of categories for which he can be rated? Of course not.  It's obvious by his statement that he's a bit short when it comes to logic and reason.  Having said all that, don't stay with someone who goes out of their way to make you feel like there is something wrong with you, you're not good enough, or everything is your fault.  That's the first step of an abusive personality.  On the plus side, he may just be a jerk instead of someone trying to tear you down, before they really work on you, but why wait to find out.  Neither is a good situation and his statement is asinine.

 

Sorry.  I shouldn't call him names so let's end with I don't think he's a nice guy and you can do so much better.

Original Mortgage maturity Sept 2044; Refi maturity Dec 2030
Starting Score: EX 751 EQ 720 TU 737 on 4/9/14
Current Score: EX 849 EQ 835 TU 843
Goal Score: 850


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Message 16 of 33
fishbjc
Senior Contributor

Re: So depressed about my situation...

I'd rather sit home on Sat. evenings BY MYSELF, than be with a guy who is a dou***bag.  Don't you DESERVE better?  Believe in yourself!!!

 

Something tells me that he 'isn't that guy' who will commit to you, love you for yourself, and be passionate about building a future TOGETHER. 

 

Move on and watch Dexter.  He's way cooler.

Message 17 of 33
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: So depressed about my situation...


@pizza1 wrote:

First, I had a BK7 a year ago, and have been rebuilding my life at age 44, that's depressing enough. To top it off, I'm single with no dating prospects, and the man that I've been in love with for 2 yrs now, who likes me, doesn't like me, likes me, doesn't like.... Calls me, disappears for awhile, calls me, disappears again, and as we were talking the other day he informs me that he would never be with anyone who didn't have high scores in the 800's like him, and that could cripple him financially. Needless to say, I'm crushed. Being in our 40's I would have thought that he could understand that life happens sometimes, and though I don't have 800 now, I will in 9-10 yrs. besides, that's not what's truly important in life! What about having a partner that loves you and would with you regardless if anything happened, even forbid a stroke or something. 

 

I'm so over it... I've been chasing this man that I love trying to prove myself and he knows it, and just continuously breaks my heart. I'm an attractive woman, no kids, educated, and a stable career in the medical field... Loving, kind, funny, caring, smart, and huge heart. I guess men want the tiny 20 something yr olds who treat them like crap and have great body. I think I'm doomed to spend every Saturday night here at the forumsSmiley Sad 


@pizza1,

 

Sorry to hear that.  If this makes you feel better, I will try to hang out with you on Saturdays on the forumSmiley Happy

Message 18 of 33
disdreamin
Valued Contributor

Re: So depressed about my situation...

Pizza, sorry you were feeling down, but as others have already said,much more eloquently, he sounds like a prize a$&, and you are better off without him.

One comment, though on MissMoni223's comment "A woman should NEVER chase a man, he should be the one going after you. " That statement really struck a nerve with me. A real relationship isn't about chasing at all, IMO. It is about sharing and collaborating and enjoying each other's company, and should never be as one-sided as on person "going after" someone else. Just my opinion, of course, but I couldn't bring myself to let it go.
Message 19 of 33
elim
Senior Contributor

Re: So depressed about my situation...


@pizza1 wrote:

First, I had a BK7 a year ago, and have been rebuilding my life at age 44, that's depressing enough. To top it off, I'm single with no dating prospects, and the man that I've been in love with for 2 yrs now, who likes me, doesn't like me, likes me, doesn't like.... Calls me, disappears for awhile, calls me, disappears again, and as we were talking the other day he informs me that he would never be with anyone who didn't have high scores in the 800's like him, and that could cripple him financially. Needless to say, I'm crushed. Being in our 40's I would have thought that he could understand that life happens sometimes, and though I don't have 800 now, I will in 9-10 yrs. besides, that's not what's truly important in life! What about having a partner that loves you and would with you regardless if anything happened, even forbid a stroke or something. 

 

I'm so over it... I've been chasing this man that I love trying to prove myself and he knows it, and just continuously breaks my heart. I'm an attractive woman, no kids, educated, and a stable career in the medical field... Loving, kind, funny, caring, smart, and huge heart. I guess men want the tiny 20 something yr olds who treat them like crap and have great body. I think I'm doomed to spend every Saturday night here at the forumsSmiley Sad 


  do what now? lol... you must have had a crap day. i'm a good looking, in shape, single guy in my 40's and could care less about them (been there). nothing but a pain. now about that credit score...  j/k.    buck up girl. he'll show up any day. if not pm me. 

Message 20 of 33
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