Spouse can never seem to pay bills on time!

[Anonymous]

My wife of 22yrs is a good woman and mother. I work away from home and she takes care of most all the bills. She has a problem with paying on time, doesn't seem to care that her credit score is **bleep** and really don't think she cares about mine. She loves to vacation in the Caribbean and recently we took a vacation to Mexico. That vacation was paid of well in advance but regular monthly bills get put on back burner. Seems we're almost broke at the end of every pay period and can't seem to get ahead. Example, have auto and home insurance due in August and I asked her to help me put money back for it and its like in one ear and out the other. Had a fight today, she was on her lunch break and was going to Dicks Sporting Goods to find some deals on the kids some clothes, kids don't need new clothes I said and besides we need to save for insurance bill and she blew a gasket. I don't know how to convince her that its important to pay on time.

[notfancy]

I think you might be better off putting all of your bills on auto pay for at least the minimums, and take over the finances for now. It is clearly a hot button issue in your house. If she has a bit of a spending problem, yelling and arguing isn't going to change anything for you guys. You need a written budget, and a less stressful way to manage the finances. I haven't used it, but I hear mint.com is a great site for tracking your bills and there are many more like it that you might want to look into.

[youdontkillmoney]

Perhaps the issue is not paying on time, but perhaps she does not have the funds to pay on time for whatever reason and if the funds were available she would pay on time?

[MT936]

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@Anonymous wrote:
My wife of 22yrs is a good woman and mother. I work away from home and she takes care of most all the bills. She has a problem with paying on time, doesn't seem to care that her credit score is **bleep** and really don't think she cares about mine. She loves to vacation in the Caribbean and recently we took a vacation to Mexico. That vacation was paid of well in advance but regular monthly bills get put on back burner. Seems we're almost broke at the end of every pay period and can't seem to get ahead. Example, have auto and home insurance due in August and I asked her to help me put money back for it and its like in one ear and out the other. Had a fight today, she was on her lunch break and was going to Dicks Sporting Goods to find some deals on the kids some clothes, kids don't need new clothes I said and besides we need to save for insurance bill and she blew a gasket. I don't know how to convince her that its important to pay on time.

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set your bills to auto pay minimum to avoid the issue of paying bills on time

[Dalanar]

you may need to just check the accounts on a monthly basis a week or so before their due dates in the short term.  It sounds like there is more at play here than just an inabilty to pay bills on time.  good luck

[pizzadude]

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@Dalanar wrote:

you may need to just check the accounts on a monthly basis a week or so before their due dates in the short term.  It sounds like there is more at play here than just an inabilty to pay bills on time.  good luck

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+1.   You should look at talking this out with her and / or a counselor / financial advisor because this is an issue that won't resolve itself and will likely only get worse over time.   It appears that the two of you have fundamental differences in your views of money and finances.  

[alyssamarie]

I definitely second the suggestion of sitting down and talking with her and going over all of your finances.

Also, making a list of all of the monthly bills and their due dates could help, a full monthly budget would probably help too if you don't already have one written down (or typed up). 

If you think there's a deeper issue, definitely sit down with her. However, if she's just forgetful or not good at keeping up with the deadlines, maybe consider just taking over that responsibility if it makes it easier on both of you.

[sean23]

Seems really simple from the outside: There should be no arguing about this, if you have a problem with the way she handles the bills, and she doesnt care about ruining both of your credit histories, then you should take over the management of the finances and payments. Problem solved. 

[jd352]

Time to take over the finances. She won't be happy, but you gave her a chance and she hasn't kept up on the bills properly. Make a budget, have her look it over and you both have to agree on it. Once she becomes more responsible, try giving her a monthly bill that isn't detrimental if it is late to see if she has learned. 

[bdhu2001]

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@Anonymous wrote:
My wife of 22yrs is a good woman and mother. I work away from home and she takes care of most all the bills. She has a problem with paying on time, doesn't seem to care that her credit score is **bleep** and really don't think she cares about mine. She loves to vacation in the Caribbean and recently we took a vacation to Mexico. That vacation was paid of well in advance but regular monthly bills get put on back burner. Seems we're almost broke at the end of every pay period and can't seem to get ahead. Example, have auto and home insurance due in August and I asked her to help me put money back for it and its like in one ear and out the other. Had a fight today, she was on her lunch break and was going to Dicks Sporting Goods to find some deals on the kids some clothes, kids don't need new clothes I said and besides we need to save for insurance bill and she blew a gasket. I don't know how to convince her that its important to pay on time.

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Something is off.  You both need to sit down and talk and you need to list all of your expenses including annual and semianual bills.  After you've put together the list of all expenses, agree upon the amount both of you will pay toward expenses on what dates you'll contribute.  You need to take over the bills and put everything on auto pay for the minimum. Then use mint and a spread sheet to keep on track.  Review carefully for three months and add the miscl expenses that you may have forgotten when you developed the initial budget. After three months you guys should have a pretty good idea of your reality and where your money is going.