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Senior Contributor
Posts: 4,838
Registered: ‎04-11-2016
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Re: THREE failed relationships due to money... unreal.

Gotcha, thanks.  I agree completely.  If someone is going to pay half the bills but only brings in 1/3 of the income, the other partner (who has greater income) needs to make up for it with things like cooking/cleaning/house work IMO.  Something to offset the financial advantage.

Established Contributor
Posts: 766
Registered: ‎12-28-2014
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Re: THREE failed relationships due to money... unreal.

Was just reading this best of luck! I'm still repairing my crest from my past relationship will be 2 years divorced in August. It's something I would probably never get involved with someone who is careless with finances.for me at 41 I'm too old to star over
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Contributor
Posts: 100
Registered: ‎06-22-2011
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Re: THREE failed relationships due to money... unreal.

[ Edited ]

Shelores wrote:

 I have been living with my boyfriend for 3 years now. I originally moved into this place myself and he immediately started staying over...basically moved in but wouldnt admit it right away and then for the first few months said he didn't want to dip out on his roomate so was still paying rent at his place

 

That is his problem, not yours. Roomate takes precedence over you. 

. After about 5 months I finally started demanding some kind of money as I am a single mom with two kids, but right off the bat we disagreed on how much to pay. He thought since I had kids he should not pay as much, he only wanted to pay as a room rental at $100 a week, even though I paid for all household item, all food and all hygiene products not to what he offered was barely half the rent.

Where on earth did he see a Motel 6, We'll leave the light on sign hanging off your door. 

 

 

After only two month of helping me pay the bills he pushed me to put real estate on hold and get a steady weekly paying job, which I did and agreed to do until the next income tax season when, again I wanted to pursue real estate.

Manipulation

 

 When I ask he to give me money for his share he says he will buy his own stuff but never does. I don't understand why he insist on living like rooomates but is ok with me being his girlfriend when its covenient.

Free Room Service with perks. 

 

 He makes excuses that he isn't use to being responsible for a household, he is 35 with no kids and has always rented a room. I explained that I don't feel comfortable moving into another place with him (our lease is up in 3 months) and putting his name with me on a lease if this is his attitude.

 Bingo! Go with what your head tells you.

 

oh and we are moving into a bigger house because he wants a yard and garage!!! that means larger rent. 

 

He doesn't contribute enough now, it will be larger rent for you. Please do not go this route. 

 

 Everytime I try to talk "money" he gets defensive or flips it around and says that I'm just jealous that he makes more money then me.

Passive Agressive 

 

I have even kicked him out a few times and paid all the bills my self just to prove to him this has nothing to do with me wanting his money.

You didn't need to prove anything, he is manipulating you again to "convince" you with false statements that you NEED him and his money, which in reality, he only NEEDS you to feed him, put a roof over his head for a paltry amount, supply him with essentials. 

 

 He says he wants the same things in life, I don't doubt it but maybe we just have different ideas how to get there...

 

As long as it's only your dime. 


 

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Member
Posts: 28
Registered: ‎04-14-2017
0

Re: THREE failed relationships due to money... unreal.

For me we do the following (14yrs togther - Not Married)

 

1. Seperate bank accounts

2. Seperate investments

3. Split Utilities evenly

4. Mortgage: Paid off. When there was a mortgage I refused to pay because my name not on it. However to offset we do split residential taxes

5. Commercial: Paid off. You had before we met so you pay taxes on it from rent monies

6. Shopping, dinning, trips etc: We pay our own ways.

7. Credit: Pay our own mobile, CC, insurance, loans etc.

8. Both have wills, POA, Medical POA, living revokable trusts etc. just in case something happens to either of us.

 

HELPFUL BOOK: Why Men Love B****** BY: Sherry Argov. Read this book - then come back and re-read your original post. You will see why I recommended it to you. Its written for women but valuable for men too.

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New Member
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎04-05-2017

Re: THREE failed relationships due to money... unreal.

Hi everyone, thanks for all the advice and moral support. I have spent the last month trying to communicate with my bf about our finances, he has changes his mind weekly and cant stick to anything we agree to. Bottom line is he isnt gonna be happy with anything ither than paying me a weekly roomate rent of $100-150 like he did when he first moved in. We cant seem to agree on a budget. I spent the last month keeping reciepts and writing down every penny incoming and outgoing for myself....i can account for all my money, he, however, cannot account for a big chunk of money and refusing to let me help him or stick with any budget. I recently recieved a raise at work and am not letting him know, i have been prepared to be a single mother again and have been building my savings and cleaning uo my credit. I have moved on from talking about our future together or trying to fix this relationship and have made it clear that he needs to find a place to move. Now he is challenging me, my name is on everything...literally because i moved in here all by myself however because he has been living here 2+ years, "helps" pay the bills and receives mail at this address I will have to go to court and evict him. Im glad I am seeing this side of him before wasting anymore years and losing anymore money for my future goals. Once this is over I will not be living with anyone for a long time and if I do get them warm fuzzy feelings I will have some kind of contract signed to protect myself. I am a strong person and have always been the ine to inspire my girlfriends to be more independent. Thank you all again for sharing your stories and helping me find the strength to focus on myself and achieveing my dreams.

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