Gotcha, thanks. I agree completely. If someone is going to pay half the bills but only brings in 1/3 of the income, the other partner (who has greater income) needs to make up for it with things like cooking/cleaning/house work IMO. Something to offset the financial advantage.
I have been living with my boyfriend for 3 years now. I originally moved into this place myself and he immediately started staying over...basically moved in but wouldnt admit it right away and then for the first few months said he didn't want to dip out on his roomate so was still paying rent at his place
That is his problem, not yours. Roomate takes precedence over you.
. After about 5 months I finally started demanding some kind of money as I am a single mom with two kids, but right off the bat we disagreed on how much to pay. He thought since I had kids he should not pay as much, he only wanted to pay as a room rental at $100 a week, even though I paid for all household item, all food and all hygiene products not to what he offered was barely half the rent.
Where on earth did he see a Motel 6, We'll leave the light on sign hanging off your door.
After only two month of helping me pay the bills he pushed me to put real estate on hold and get a steady weekly paying job, which I did and agreed to do until the next income tax season when, again I wanted to pursue real estate.
When I ask he to give me money for his share he says he will buy his own stuff but never does. I don't understand why he insist on living like rooomates but is ok with me being his girlfriend when its covenient.
Free Room Service with perks.
He makes excuses that he isn't use to being responsible for a household, he is 35 with no kids and has always rented a room. I explained that I don't feel comfortable moving into another place with him (our lease is up in 3 months) and putting his name with me on a lease if this is his attitude.
Bingo! Go with what your head tells you.
oh and we are moving into a bigger house because he wants a yard and garage!!! that means larger rent.
He doesn't contribute enough now, it will be larger rent for you. Please do not go this route.
Everytime I try to talk "money" he gets defensive or flips it around and says that I'm just jealous that he makes more money then me.
I have even kicked him out a few times and paid all the bills my self just to prove to him this has nothing to do with me wanting his money.
You didn't need to prove anything, he is manipulating you again to "convince" you with false statements that you NEED him and his money, which in reality, he only NEEDS you to feed him, put a roof over his head for a paltry amount, supply him with essentials.
He says he wants the same things in life, I don't doubt it but maybe we just have different ideas how to get there...
As long as it's only your dime.
For me we do the following (14yrs togther - Not Married)
1. Seperate bank accounts
2. Seperate investments
3. Split Utilities evenly
4. Mortgage: Paid off. When there was a mortgage I refused to pay because my name not on it. However to offset we do split residential taxes
5. Commercial: Paid off. You had before we met so you pay taxes on it from rent monies
6. Shopping, dinning, trips etc: We pay our own ways.
7. Credit: Pay our own mobile, CC, insurance, loans etc.
8. Both have wills, POA, Medical POA, living revokable trusts etc. just in case something happens to either of us.
HELPFUL BOOK: Why Men Love B****** BY: Sherry Argov. Read this book - then come back and re-read your original post. You will see why I recommended it to you. Its written for women but valuable for men too.
Making 1/3 and paying half is ridiculous. This sounds more like a roomate not a partner.
Who stated that ratio above, I can't find it?
Shelores above posted this :
"I asked all my friends that live with their significant other how they split the bills....most answered by percentage or assigning certain bills to each other. He says he doesn't feel he should be punished for making more money than me so even if i bring home a 1/3 of what he makes I should still be responsible for half.....oh and we are moving into a bigger house because he wants a yard and garage!!! that means larger rent. So im just curious, how do most of you expect to split the bills with your significant other?"
I would move on. He seems like a selfish person.
Regarding Shelores - it does sound like the guy is a selfish person.
Regarding Brutal Bodyshots - it does NOT sound like he is a selfish person. He stated that he didn't make enough money to pay for the lifestyle the mother of his child wanted. She worked two PART time jobs. One with a real paycheck doing something she was/is passionate about. She worked this PART time and kept every single penny from the job to spend on herself. Not herself and the child. Not on the family. Not on the living expenses. But on HERSELF. The other part time job was a HOBBY that she made money on. She kept every single penny from that job to spend on herself. Not herself and the child. Not on the family. Not on the living expenses. But on HERSELF.
Brutal was working FULL time and spending all the money on household expenses, INCLUDING luxuries for the mother of his child. Where is his splurge? Why should he be the only one worrying about money, and whether he can pay the electric bill?
His ex was upset because he wouldn't (couldn't) wine and dine her, give her the lifestyle SHE wanted/felt she deserved.
Regarding Shelores - her soon to be ex has said he isn't experienced at living on his own or as head of household. Ok. He could learn. Yet after 3 years, he is still playing the renter with benefits. He takes and takes and takes. He doesn't give back.
Relationships are give and take. When things are or becomes one sided, things go down hill fast.
From the sounds of it, both posters were justified in feeling unsatisfied and making changes.
I've shared some information on my past relationships. It's not so much about the paycheck as it is about working as a team to reach the common goals. I've almost always less than my partner, but things were considered balanced because I contributed in other ways (cooking, errands, household work, yard work, etc.) I've been in the position where I made more than my partner and my partner didn't want to do ANYTHING to contribute. His paycheck was his to spend however he wanted. No assistance with cooking, errands, housework, etc. Yeah, I ended that one.
We hear half the story here. Our opinions are based on what we read.
I apologize now if I am being too sensitive to what was said. It's been a stressful few weeks. Month? So I acknowledge I could be over reacting to what was said about the OP (Brutal). And no, I don't know Brutal personally.
Multiple posts have been removed for violating our TOS. As a reminder flaming and nonFSR comments are out of bounds here at myFico. To those of you who are replying within the guidelines I thank you.
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