Credit Card Center Advertiser Disclosure†
11-08-2011 04:55 PM
Always a bad idea‽
Basically, my foolish housemate is getting married (for the 5th time) to some chick he found on a dating website *. I'm eligible for a VA loan, no money down. Been with the same girl 6ish years and have no plans for marriage. Figured I should get a house and not be at the mercy of another roommate's marriage follies, LOL! She's always here anyways and we've lived together before with no drama.
Is there a safe, fair way to do something like this. My gut is kinda yelling "Shop within whatever budget you can afford alone, with no extra stress, just in case!", LOL! She's very excited about the house hunting process and so on. In my mind it's more or less a necessary evil and will give additional stability.
Her credit is perfect. We'd definitely qualify for a traditional mortgage with 20% down. Credit really isn't an issue at all. It's more about avoiding drama, in my mind. In the same vein, I definitely would not want to ever put someone in a scenario where they felt unequal.
* It's gonna be her fourth trip to the rodeo, LOL!
11-08-2011 06:22 PM
If it were me, single with a long term relationship, I would purchase a house on my own. My income, my mortgage, my house. If significant other and I later decide to officially cohabitate, then something can be worked out that the SO pays for rent or utilities, or something. If things don't work out - it's my house, my rules, bye-bye.
But that is me...
11-09-2011 03:51 PM
^ I pretty much feel that way but want to be fair. I'm in the minority here, only buying a house because of my roommate's marriage obsession. The kids are only here alternate weekends and it's a tight squeeze but I enjoy them so much space isn't really an issue.
We discussed it briefly and it could either be a place my income alone supports (on a VA loan) or something affordable to us both on a traditional mortgage. Adding someone's name to the deed so they feel equal doesn't make a ton of sense, to me. It kind of seems like buying drama. I also said buying much less house, to have no drama is a viable option.
11-09-2011 04:04 PM
If you're not married, and not planning on getting married anytime in the future, who is the house really for? If you're paying for it, and she's just living in it as your girlfriend and not your wife, it should be in your name only.
11-09-2011 04:30 PM
I'm in the process of signing a lease with my girlfriend. We've been together for almost 3 years but have lived together for the past 12 or 13 months. Though it's not the same as buying a house, I feel comfortable enough putting both our names on the lease and just splitting rent/utilities/whatever else.
11-09-2011 05:06 PM
You somehow managed to neatly sum up what was bothering me about the whole situation before I even figured it out.
Women really are smarter than us men, LOL!
Funny thing is, I would have never figured out why the idea felt icky. Seeing it in black and white makes me go "Jeez, Jake! The whole point of a girlfriend is you don't lose half your crap if it's time to make a change!". I can't imagine intentionally putting the kids in moving or changing homes again
Thank you! I'm not necessarily happy about finally getting it but am glad to understand things better.
11-09-2011 05:47 PM
Way to Go. You sound like a responsible guy who really loves his girl, but is not going into anything with his eyes closed. Good for you. Things can get messy when people who are in love just make assumptions about money. Just read some of the forums here about joint vs. authorized users or divorced couples money mistakes. I'm certainly not saying that's you - you sound like you have a very solid relationship - She's lucky to have you - you're considering giving her the benefits of a house that you completely pay for, which is usually reserved for a wife who makes a lifetime committment to you as your mate.
All the best to both of you!
11-10-2011 03:35 PM
Suze Orman says "Fico first, then sex." A little extreme, but probably smart.
11-11-2011 09:37 AM
Forums posts are not provided or commissioned by FICO. Forums posts have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by FICO. It is not FICO's responsibility to ensure all posts and/or questions are answered.† Advertiser Disclosure: The listings that appear on myFICO are from companies from which myFICO receives compensation, which may impact how and where products appear on myFICO (including, for example, the order in which they appear). myFICO does not review or include all companies or all available products.
* For complete information, see the terms and conditions on the credit card issuer’s website. Once you click apply for this card, you will be directed to the issuer’s website where you may review the terms and conditions of the card before applying. While myFICO always strives to present the most accurate information, we show a summary to help you choose a product, not the full legal terms - and before applying you should understand the full terms of products as stated by the issuer itself.
IMPORTANT INFORMATION: All FICO® Score products made available on myFICO.com include a FICO® Score 8, along with additional FICO® Score versions. Your lender or insurer may use a different FICO® Score than the versions you receive from myFICO, or another type of credit score altogether. Learn more
FICO, myFICO, Score Watch, The score lenders use, and The Score That Matters are trademarks or registered trademarks of Fair Isaac Corporation. Equifax Credit Report is a trademark of Equifax, Inc. and its affiliated companies. Many factors affect your FICO Score and the interest rates you may receive. Fair Isaac is not a credit repair organization as defined under federal or state law, including the Credit Repair Organizations Act. Fair Isaac does not provide "credit repair" services or advice or assistance regarding "rebuilding" or "improving" your credit record, credit history or credit rating. FTC's website on credit.