Relationships and Money

[drkaje]

^ It's more a matter of practicality than protecting myself, LOL! If dealing with all the legal consequences of marriage were the desire, I'd do it now. I've been with DGF longer than first marriage so it's not a matter of commitment. It's simply admitting that joint ownership of a home is essentially a financial marriage.

She's great and we're lucky to have her! That being said, I'm committed to never paying a lawyer for help to end a relationship again. 

[lucasoil4u]

I was in the same boat as you pulled the trigger on the house. We lived there for a year. We broke up sold the house and we both lost 10k. I wouldnt do it cause I learned the hard way. Do it one persons name and have the other person pay rent thats the best way to do it. 

[webhopper]

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drkaje wrote:

@ MissExcellentCredit,

You somehow managed to neatly sum up what was bothering me about the whole situation before I even figured it out.

Women really are smarter than us men, LOL!

Funny thing is, I would have never figured out why the idea felt icky. Seeing it in black and white makes me go "Jeez, Jake! The whole point of a girlfriend is you don't lose half your crap if it's time to make a change!". I can't imagine intentionally putting the kids in moving or changing homes again

Thank you! I'm not necessarily happy about finally getting it but am glad to understand things better.

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My current husband and I were dating when I was house hunting.  I was buying the house for me and my daughter to live in, and as we weren't married, I wanted something that I could afford on my own.  We knew we would get married, and we are married now, but I felt more comfortable buying the house on my own and co-habiting until we both felt comfortable taking the plunge.  Oklahoma is also a seperate property state, and I pay the mortgage and provided the down payment from my own funds... so there is also some protection there as far as assets if we were to ever split.

[rootpooty]

here we are almost 8 mos later. what happened? spill the beans lol

[drkaje]

USAA said my DTI was too high when student loans were factored in. We're in an Apt.

I more or less look at it from the 'when the money's right, I won't have to worry about the score' perspective. I did dislike three hard pulls though. Wish USAA had a method of pre-qualifying me (or not) that involved soft pulls but they were great to work with.

[Repo-ed]

Everything happens for a reason, and that seems like the best possible thing to happen.

[marty56]

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Repo-ed wrote:

Everything happens for a reason, and that seems like the best possible thing to happen.

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A similar thng happened to me back in my credit dark days which were also my relationship dark days altought I didn't realize that part at the time until it was too late.

Things did happend to me for a reason and when the time is right to buy a home, you will know it is with the right person since they either stuck by you or you found someone else who would.

[tammyjk]

Just some food for thought if anyone is planning on doing this:

Think about what would happen to your partner if you should pass away.

Think about what would happen to you if your partner leaves.

Talk to an attorney!

I lived with my ex for 13 years and we built 2 homes ect.  We finally married and then divorced.  Because we built the homes BEFORE we were married I really had no rights.  Sort of.  Lucily my ex and I went our seperate ways and remained friends.  He kept one home, I kept the other but both homes were in his name.  Fast forward 13 years and he passed away.  His children tried to take my home.  6000 dollars later and a lawyer, that wont happen.  Get a Lawyer first!  Agree to everything from the start!  Put it in writing! 

We never go into a relationship thinking it will end.  We really dont think 20 years ahead as in our partner passing away leaving a mess......Get a Lawyer!