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Unmarried couple buying house

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drkaje
Senior Contributor

Re: Unmarried couple buying house

^ It's more a matter of practicality than protecting myself, LOL! If dealing with all the legal consequences of marriage were the desire, I'd do it now. I've been with DGF longer than first marriage so it's not a matter of commitment. It's simply admitting that joint ownership of a home is essentially a financial marriage.

 

She's great and we're lucky to have her! That being said, I'm committed to never paying a lawyer for help to end a relationship again. 


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Message 21 of 28
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Unmarried couple buying house

I was in the same boat as you pulled the trigger on the house. We lived there for a year. We broke up sold the house and we both lost 10k. I wouldnt do it cause I learned the hard way. Do it one persons name and have the other person pay rent thats the best way to do it. 

 

Message 22 of 28
webhopper
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Unmarried couple buying house


@drkaje wrote:

@ MissExcellentCredit,

 

You somehow managed to neatly sum up what was bothering me about the whole situation before I even figured it out.

 

Women really are smarter than us men, LOL!

 

Funny thing is, I would have never figured out why the idea felt icky. Seeing it in black and white makes me go "Jeez, Jake! The whole point of a girlfriend is you don't lose half your crap if it's time to make a change!". I can't imagine intentionally putting the kids in moving or changing homes again

 

Thank you! I'm not necessarily happy about finally getting it but am glad to understand things better. Smiley Happy



My current husband and I were dating when I was house hunting.  I was buying the house for me and my daughter to live in, and as we weren't married, I wanted something that I could afford on my own.  We knew we would get married, and we are married now, but I felt more comfortable buying the house on my own and co-habiting until we both felt comfortable taking the plunge.  Oklahoma is also a seperate property state, and I pay the mortgage and provided the down payment from my own funds... so there is also some protection there as far as assets if we were to ever split.

FICO 9:
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Message 23 of 28
rootpooty
Valued Contributor

Re: Unmarried couple buying house

here we are almost 8 mos later. what happened? spill the beans lol

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Message 24 of 28
drkaje
Senior Contributor

Re: Unmarried couple buying house

USAA said my DTI was too high when student loans were factored in. We're in an Apt. Smiley Happy

 

I more or less look at it from the 'when the money's right, I won't have to worry about the score' perspective. I did dislike three hard pulls though. Wish USAA had a method of pre-qualifying me (or not) that involved soft pulls but they were great to work with.


Starting Score: 675
Current Score: EX 753 FICO, EQ 737FICO, TU 738
Goal Score: 776 FICO


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Message 25 of 28
Repo-ed
Senior Contributor

Re: Unmarried couple buying house

Everything happens for a reason, and that seems like the best possible thing to happen.

5/2012: 560 credit scores across the board
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Message 26 of 28
marty56
Super Contributor

Re: Unmarried couple buying house


@Repo-ed wrote:

Everything happens for a reason, and that seems like the best possible thing to happen.


A similar thng happened to me back in my credit dark days which were also my relationship dark days altought I didn't realize that part at the time until it was too late.

 

Things did happend to me for a reason and when the time is right to buy a home, you will know it is with the right person since they either stuck by you or you found someone else who would.

1/25/2021: FICO 850 EQ 848 TU 847 EX
Message 27 of 28
tammyjk
Regular Contributor

Re: Unmarried couple buying house

Just some food for thought if anyone is planning on doing this:

 

Think about what would happen to your partner if you should pass away.

Think about what would happen to you if your partner leaves.

Talk to an attorney!

 

I lived with my ex for 13 years and we built 2 homes ect.  We finally married and then divorced.  Because we built the homes BEFORE we were married I really had no rights.  Sort of.  Lucily my ex and I went our seperate ways and remained friends.  He kept one home, I kept the other but both homes were in his name.  Fast forward 13 years and he passed away.  His children tried to take my home.  6000 dollars later and a lawyer, that wont happen.  Get a Lawyer first!  Agree to everything from the start!  Put it in writing! 

 

We never go into a relationship thinking it will end.  We really dont think 20 years ahead as in our partner passing away leaving a mess......Get a Lawyer!

Message 28 of 28
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