Reply
New Member
xopher26
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎09-30-2008
0

Re: Wedding debt..


Isaiah2990 wrote:
So me and my gf were talking about marriage and how much wedding expenses would cost..she said no more than 10k.. in my opinion I feel that it will cost more than that and I think that is too much already..we already have to pay back student loans when we graduate, I feel like this will be adding on to it..she says her parents and grand parents will help pay for it..but I honestly don't see anything wrong with getting married at a courthouse and then having a really nice reception and honeymoon..and I wouldnt want it to be a financial burden on them anyway..what are some good suggestions ?


I think you are exactly right.  Maybe its because I'm a guy, but I really never saw the purpose of blowing thousands, even tens of thousands dollars on a wedding when the same thing can be accomplished at your local courthouse.  Plus with you just getting out of college and possibly years of student loan debt to pay back, it wouldn't make much sense to add wedding expenses to your debt.  Regardless of her parents and grandparents would help pay for it I wouldn't want to spend a lot of money on a ceremony that will more than likely have ungrateful and critical guests anyway. I'm getting a little off track here, but the courthouse idea sounds practical. I would also forgo the reception as well.  If I really wanted to celebrate, then just have a get together at my home. 

 

My personal opinion is that I think weddings and receptions are a waste of money especially considering that half of marriages fail anyway.  If you two are together 10 - 15 years from your wedding and you are in a better financial position to still really want and pay for a wedding (yourselves), then by all means go for it.  But to pile on debt straight out of college is not smart financially. 

 

It took me a little over 10 years to pay off my student loans, (sent them a check last year to pay of the remaining 33 months), also was able to pay off my cars early as well. Had I had a wedding and reception to pay for during that time then I wouldn't have been able to do this.

Regular Contributor
MissExcellentCredit
Posts: 248
Registered: ‎11-20-2010
0

Re: Wedding debt..

Has either of you been married before? If not, I'd suggest an affordable wedding. If it's a second marriage (or third....), go to the courthouse. 

 

 



Current 2013 Score: ScoreWatch Transunion: 737, ScoreWatch Equifax: 723, Nordstrom Equifax: 734
Goal Score for January 2014: 750-809 range



Take the FICO Fitness Challenge
Member
missjade
Posts: 15
Registered: ‎05-16-2008
0

Re: Wedding debt..

Honestly, everyone is different when it comes to what they want.  Personally, I must admit that most girls are the ones that prefer a dream wedding (one they can't wait to have since they are little girls).  I am generally frugal when it comes to many things and always look for the best deals on everything and how I can get money or benefits from doing simple things (like shopping online).  I have no problem negotiating for a price I want on anything (cars, appliances, electronics) and I NEVER pay the sticker price.

 

That being said, I am a girl and when it came to my wedding I knew that I wanted to have it my way.  I also knew that we would have no help from either set of parents.  I already owned my home (well, had a mortgage) before I got married, had over 100K in student loans (my DH only about 20K) and had about 20K in CC debt between the 2 of us, and we each had a car loan.  We paid off the CC debt in a year. 

 

My original wedding budget was 30K (excluding honeymoon).  I am a very eco conscious person and everything had to be sustainable and organic with no waste, etc.  The reception alone was 20K.  My dress, the rings (which are made of wood), the honeymoon, and half of what the photographer and videographer cost was paid upfront (no debt).  The reception, as well as flowers (none cut, all planted), decor and entertainment, and rest of photo/video was put on CCs.  I made or repurposed a lot of things in terms of decorations.  Overall we ended up with about 25K in CC debt and got about 11K in gifts, which immediately paid that down.  All of this was put on my 2 CCs that gave me a 0% transfer rate for 15 months, so technically we paid almost no interest.

 

I know that to many people that sounds like a lot of money for one day, but I wouldn't change it for a thing.  I am also very confident that this is my one and only wedding.  We have gone into our relationship with very realistic expectations about finances and what our goals are in life.  We don't just waste money on things, generally buy only what's really necessary and think twice before we do.  But there are certain things that we both like or want that we don't deny each other.  For example, DH must have a new car every few years, and that's fine since that's his little indulgence.  My car is paid off and will last me a very long time and I have no desire to have the newest, greatest thing as long as my current one is working.  I got my expensive wedding which he wasn't crazy about but had to understand.  Either way, we figure out the most logical financial way to handle things, spending as little as possible on interest, etc.

 

And I agree that a wedding is in many cases about family and they tend to have expectations (even if they are unable to contribute).  I am not sure why many people suggest a courthouse wedding, though.  Depending on your faith, you can just as well get married in a church.  I am not sure if the courthouse charges a fee, but I know that most churches will marry you for a small donation (I know Catholic church is required to).

 

OK, I am getting a little long here.  Bottom line is, you have to be able to discuss your finances and expectations openly if you want your relationship to work in the long run, and you have to respect each others desires.  If you can not compromise on this, chances are you will have a lot of issues with everything else down the road.  You may also want to find out (subtly, of course) if your gf is expecting a diamond.  Personally, I specifically hinted to my DH about the fact that he better not think of buying me traditional jewelry due to the environmental concerns (absolutely NO diamonds allowed).  He couldn't have been happier.

 

PS. Have been married almost a year now, no CC debt and student loans and mortgage will be paid off by 2020 at the current rate (not scheduled to be paid off until 2040 according to amortization).  Can't wait to pay cash for everything!

Established Member
sgtm7
Posts: 56
Registered: ‎05-23-2008
0

Re: Wedding debt..

I went through a 4 year Chapter 13 plan.  During those 4 years, I got into the habit of paying cash for everything.  3 years after my discharge, I still don't buy anything I can't pay cash for.  This includes automobiles and homes.   When I do make a purchase with a credit card(for convenience), when I get home I use Quicken Bill Pay to pay the full amount of the charge.  Sometimes they even receive my payment before the charge has posted.  For me, financing a wedding (or anything else) is OUT OF THE QUESTION.     If I can't afford to pay cash, that means I can't afford it.   

Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,485
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
0

Re: Wedding debt..


sgtm7 wrote:

I went through a 4 year Chapter 13 plan.  During those 4 years, I got into the habit of paying cash for everything.  3 years after my discharge, I still don't buy anything I can't pay cash for.  This includes automobiles and homes.   When I do make a purchase with a credit card(for convenience), when I get home I use Quicken Bill Pay to pay the full amount of the charge.  Sometimes they even receive my payment before the charge has posted.  For me, financing a wedding (or anything else) is OUT OF THE QUESTION.     If I can't afford to pay cash, that means I can't afford it.   


I feel that's true in almost every financial scenario. I'm not opposed to situarions where debt can put one in a situation to earn more cash. Student loans, towards a useful degree, make sense.

 

My long term plan is cash only but it can't be fully enacted for a few years.


Starting Score: 675
Current Score: EX 754 FICO, EQ 737FICO
Goal Score: 776 FICO


Take the FICO Fitness Challenge
Blogger
FrugalRican
Posts: 2,876
Registered: ‎02-02-2012
0

Re: Wedding debt..


missjade wrote:

 

And I agree that a wedding is in many cases about family and they tend to have expectations (even if they are unable to contribute).  I am not sure why many people suggest a courthouse wedding, though.  Depending on your faith, you can just as well get married in a church.  I am not sure if the courthouse charges a fee, but I know that most churches will marry you for a small donation (I know Catholic church is required to).

 


I'm actually curious about this as well.

 

Anyone know what the difference is?


 

Follow my financial journey: http://www.frugalrican.com


EQ FICO (01/16/2012): 656 - EQ FICO (02/16/2012): 743 - EQ (02/24/2012): 760 - EX (04/28/2012): 739 - GOAL 2013: 800+

AMEX BCE (0/10K) --- BOA 1-2-3 (0/15.9K) --- Discover More (0/6K) --- Chase Freedom Visa (0/1.4K) -- Hyatt Visa Sign. (0/5.8K) -- Barclay's NFL Card (0/7.5K) -- Chase Sapphire Preferred (0/5K)

Frequent Contributor
Dadaluma83
Posts: 364
Registered: ‎08-23-2011
0

Re: Wedding debt..

There are a lot of very smart females on this board with a good head on their shoulders. Too bad none are single. haha

 

I do plan on splurging for a wedding. I only plan on having one in my life so why not make it special? The splurging will just be on the honeymoon. :smileyhappy: For a wedding for me personally I would be happy with a small ceremony at the church, reception would be a family cookout/potluck something very frugal. Then the honeymoon will be where the money is spent. Something awe inspiring like hiking in the Australian Outback, Climbing the Alps, Rafting in the Amazon, etc.

 

Just need to find a brave and adventurous female. :heart:

FICO Scores: TU: 768 (Jan 2012), EQ: 755 (Jan 2012 Lender pull)
New Visitor
rpwegener
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎10-19-2010
0

Re: Wedding debt..

I recently saw an article that the average wedding these days costs $20,000.  I just got engaged 3 weeks ago.  We've started to put a budget together, and yup, it's hard just to keep it under $15,000.  The reception is the main part, so you're comment about the 'really nice reception,' good luck.  A budget checklist we found called out the reception as 50% of the entire costs of the wedding.  For about 180 people, we're looking at $10,000 just for the reception.  Good luck buddy, and trust me, I know all the stuff that's going through your head to start thinking about a wedding.  It's crazy!

Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,485
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
0

Re: Wedding debt..

$20K isn't bad if you can afford it without taking on debt.


Starting Score: 675
Current Score: EX 754 FICO, EQ 737FICO
Goal Score: 776 FICO


Take the FICO Fitness Challenge
New Visitor
rpwegener
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎10-19-2010
0

Re: Wedding debt..

And luckily that is the case for me.


myFICO is the consumer division of FICO. Since its introduction 20 years ago, the FICO® Score has become a global standard for measuring credit risk in the banking, mortgage, credit card, auto and retail industries. 90 of the top 100 largest U.S. financial institutions use the FICO Score to make consumer credit decisions.

>> About myFICO
FICO Score - The Score that matters
Click to Verify - This site chose VeriSign SSL for secure e-commerce and confidential communications.
Fair Isaac Corporation is a BBB Accredited Financial Service in San Rafael, CA
FOLLOW US Social Media Facebook Twitter Pinterest Google+