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I guess what I am saying, in the end it doesn't matter how or where you do it. My ex husband and I set a budget. We stuck to it. The one thing we couldn't control was the weather! A November wedding in OREGON! It was a beautiful Sunny day! The leaves turned yellow orange...so we got shots of us in the park next to the reception in our nice duds. Set a budget, ask her family how much they will contribute, then plan.
I think I paid around $40 for my wedding. Possibly less than that because I think the Justice of the Peace gave me a military discount.
@FrugalRican wrote:I've never understood the reception idea. Every wedding I go to... half of the people there are people who have no direct contact with the bride or groom... just random people who happen to be family or were friends at some point.
My reception will consist of no more than 20 people, thankfully, and be a small and personable affair.
If we were to splurge on anything, it'd be the honeymoon.
I agree 120%! My fiance has never met a stranger and wants to invite everyone!! I want our wedding to be small and intimate with the people that truly care for us and know us the best. No need to pay more money to impress someone that we barely see, who probably won't even bring a decent gift with them anyway.
Weddings are nice and all, but it is more for the family and friends. The wife and i got lucky and her parents paid 18k of the 24k bill. This forum has to be the best discovery i have ever made!
After 10 years and 2 kids, my husband and I finally just got married last month, it cost us $2,200 total!! For everything!! I hate hearing about people who put all this money into 1 DAY. Yes, you want it to be memorable and special, but you don't have to be so over the top! We didn't go to a courthouse, we found a local JOP who came to my fathers house (he has a huge backyard) and we set up tents, and I ordered my own flowers online and got streamers, tulle paper, and paper lanterns, and we had an absolutely beautiful wedding! I loved it! Now I am lucky because my dad happens to be an awesome cook, so he made all the food for us, but even to do a buffet style dinner would only cost you about $1500 for 75 people or so. Do some research online, there are a lot of Do-It-Yourself websites for weddings, and you can have a beautiful, special, amazing wedding for a lot less money! Save that money for a honey moon or a down payment for your first house or something!!
Hello everyone!..Sorry I haven't been replying..thanks for your input.. I am honestly trying my hardest to dig myself out of this financial hole. I am trying to convince her when it is time for marriage we shouldn't pay that much but she tells me that she only plans on getting married once so she wants it to be memorable..I understand that, but I have other financial responsibilities I need to take care of. The last thing I'm trying to do is dig myself in a deeper hole. I graduate in probably 2.5 years and no employer is going to want to hire a college graduate with a piss poor credit score..especially if it has to deal with accounting or any type of money.
As a woman, I'm all about making things memorable, but I'm also really practical.
I have to say, it sounds like your GF is watching too many bridal shows on TV or reading too many bridal magazines or spending too much time fantasizing with her friends. Most likely all of the above.
Frankly, I would take this as an indicator of the future. Do you want to tie yourself to someone who blows off your very legitimate concerns for a one-day indulgence?
* glances at awesome wedding ring, complete with emerald-cut diamond * --but seriously, I think it's really important to learn to be smart with where you choose to go ape.
@haulingthescoreup wrote:
Frankly, I would take this as an indicator of the future. Do you want to tie yourself to someone who blows off your very legitimate concerns for a one-day indulgence?
.
Bingo.
OP, your fiancee is waving a huge red flag and you're not seeing it.
Follow my financial journey: http://www.frugalrican.com
We spent $30 on our marriage license, and another $40 for the JP's fee. Same outcome if we had spent thousands of dollars on a "formal" wedding. We're together, I have his last name, and we drive each other batsh*t crazy...without any wedding debt!
I recently was married and paid 12,000 dollars for the wedding. If you plan a year ahead you won't have any debt at the end. Typically, vendors need to be paid in order to prepare for the event. The only remainder balance at the end is the reception. I had 250 guest and after all the gifts (money) the balance of $1,900 was paid for. If you manage your money and negoctiate sales with the vendors the wedding will not leave you with debt. Farmers markers will have inexpensive flowers, offer your own recipe for the reception, make your own decorations, and most retailers are willing to discount the sale when it comes closer to the date. I received a 2,200 dollar limo for 410 dollars all because I waited until the day of the wedding, just make sure the company builds you a quote, but you have to communicate with them to keep it open.