@Anonymous wrote:
@Dalmus wrote:
That's a rough situation to go through, I'm sure. Sorry that you had to!
If there's one thing I've learned from reading the stories in this particular sub board, it's that helping people financially is not wrong if you have the means to do so, but never give others, even family, access to your money/credit in a way that it doesn't first have to go through you.
Even with no bad intentions, it's just so easy to justify things to themselves in a way they don't feel is abusing your kindness.
I agree 100%, I guess I never really could believe that she'd ever do that but you're right. From her perspective maybe she didn't think she was doing anything wrong, but live and learn I guess, I'm just thankful that it wasn't worse. And that I managed to pay most of it back.
That's so sad when it's one or both of your parents that stick it to you. It's actually because of my fond memories of my parents that I've bailed my sister out over & over again over the years for thousands of dollars. My dad was very frugal and taught me well about personal responsibility & personal financial management. My sister is 9 years younger than I, my mother gave birth to her in her late 40s, so my sister was their "miracle child", the daughter they always wanted, so so they spoiled her rotten. Instead of teaching my sister personal responsibility my dad bailed her out with money over & over. So when he passed away in 1988 my sister decided i was his replacement.
My sister has been in a lesbian relationship for over 12 years, and I don't care for her partner at all. I don't care about the gay thing, I'm very socially liberal, between two consenting adults, you do your thing and I'll do mine. I don't like her because she's so pushy and is one of those people that has to use the "f-word" as a substitute for every possible verb, noun, adverb & adjective.
So they realized it was too easy for me to say No! to the partner, so it became always my sister who asked me for money. In addition to being terrible at managing money, my sister is also a world class procrastinator, she always waits until a day or two before disaster is about to strike. Several years the mortgage company was days away from for foreclosing, so could I possibly please wire them $3500 today? I'm always leary of being duped by them, I called the mortgage company to verify, and then wire transferred the $$$. A couple of years ago it was property taxes, they said the Sheriff was coming the next day to nail an auction notice on their door. Their county allows online access to property tax records, so I could see they hadn't paid property taxes in 3 years! Another couple grand to bring them current. I told them it was the absolute last time I would help them out, but I always say that.
Why do I do it? I think of my mom & dad, how kind, wonderful & supportive they were to me, and I just can't allow their only daughter to become homeless.
