My wife and I have no joint accounts. I'm not an AU on any of her cards; she's not an AU on any of mine. We don't share any checking or savings accounts. So far, it's worked very well, but we also seem to be unique among our friends and family.
I'm curious to know how unusual our situation acctually is. How many married couples out there keep their finances completely separate?
We have a joint checking, savings, cc, and individual accounts as well. The joint accounts are used to fund household expenses: mortgage, groceries, utility bills, any home repairs / decorations / upgrades, joint entertainment. This makes sure we have funds in hand to pay for whatever we need to -- we don't have to ask each other for their share when a bill comes due.
The individual accounts are for our retirement, our own savings, and our frivolous spending. This way we don't have to inform each other of every little spend and no one is unexpectedly taking money out of the joint account to pay for an individual purchase.
We have joint accounts, but sometimes I wish we didn't. It can really cause problems. My brother and SIL have seperate accts. It has worked well for them- except my SIL expects him to pay for all extracircular activities (vacations, dinners,etc) even though he pays most of the bills and she makes good money too. IDK how much it bugs my brother but it sure bugs me.
I think more and more people are doing things your way.
We have separate checking acounts for daily expenses. The bills are paid from a joint account, but its joint in name only. She has never deposited a dime to the account, nor does she have a debit card. I'm not even sure she knows what bank its at. Same with savings. Post BK, I opened a new savings account online. She's a joint account holder, but I don't know if she even knows it exists.
My husband and I are completely comingled. All of our bank accounts are joint, though his check goes into one account and mine another. We are AUs on each other's cards. It works for us. I think I feel better knowing that each of us has access to everything; what I do affects him and vice versa.
We've been married a long time and are fortunate in that we both have similar approaches to money and budget. If he were irresponsible, I wouldn't want him touching my accounts but we've never had any problems.
I am not married but have lived with my bf for over 9 years now. I handle all of our finances, though they are kept separate. We split the bills. He gives me his share of the bill money at the beginning of the month. The rest is his to do whatever he does with it. Same with my money. I'm a saver. He is a spender. I like it separated, that way I never have to get mad at him for spending "my" money on something I consider frivolous. He is AU on most of my cards and I am on his one major card. All of his spending goes on my cards (I have to routinely tell him which card to use for the best rewards) and he gives me the cash for whatever he has spent. It has worked well for us. We never fight about money.
I didn't think that this is odd, but he tells me that most couples do not work like this. Occasionally when money discussions have come up with friends, they are shocked to find out that we keep everything separate. I love it separated. I don't feel like he needs to pay for my student loans and I don't want to pay his child support. Only joint expenses are split 50/50.
ETA: At one time we had a joint checking. His check was deposited there and I transferred money to my checking for bills. After a while I decided it was a pain to have accounts that we didn't need so we closed the joint checking. Now he just gives me cash and I deposit it to my checking and pay the bills.