Posts: 81
Registered: ‎11-27-2012

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

I'm a super rational and realistic person, but I really don't agree with the common fears and concerns regarding combined finances.


In my view, you shouldn't decide to commit to a person for life if you can't even trust them enough to share finances. :smileywink:


There is nothing stupid about having a joint account.


A lot of people are jaded and can't trust anyone. A lot of people are gullible and trust the wrong people.


But if you are not one of the above, and you have a high enough emotional IQ to know the person you're marrying, combined finances are a beautiful thing.


DH and I began dating shortly after graduating college. We were both just beginning our careers at the time and making 25-30k each. Six months into dating, it began to feel silly to have separate accounts, as we moved in together and shared everything we bought. We each closed our individual bank accounts and opened a new one together, where both of our paychecks were direct deposited. Since that day, we've never owned a dollar that we didn't share.


It's been years since we made that decision to combine all of our money. We've each gotten substantial raises and promotions since our entry-level positions. We have multiple retirement and investment accounts. Every cent to our names is mutually owned by the two of us. We're an authorized user on every credit card the other person has.


And money has never caused one argument. In fact, it strengthens our marriage to enjoy both the trust and the shared success: to accomplish great things financially -- as a team.


If you're marrying the right person, there will be no question about sharing accounts, and you will benefit greatly from your joint success.

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Established Member
Posts: 37
Registered: ‎04-13-2013

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

This whole post is outstandingly inspirational! You've done a great job finding someone as responsible and fun to be with as your (I have no idea what DH means). 


Thank you for sharing what it's like to live my future dream.

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Valued Contributor
Posts: 2,659
Registered: ‎08-13-2009

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

DH = dear husband, dear hubby

Regular Contributor
Posts: 160
Registered: ‎02-17-2011

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

My husband and I share the same goals and bank account.  I agree with others that trust is the most important thing.  We also shared my home and account before we were married.  We discussed the possiblity of a break up and finances long before we shared accounts.  Even if we divorced the other knows they wouldnt be left with nothing.  Neither of us would do that to the other no matter the circumstances. 

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Established Member
Posts: 12
Registered: ‎09-08-2008

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

If you are married, it pays to know if you live in a community property state or no.  If so, it doesn't matter if the accounts are joint or separate, it's all joint money anyway (within limits, my ex thought he was entitled to get NOW half of my expected future inheritance in the divorce.  Didn't happen.)  If your state is not community property, it is a risk, mitigated by courts to try to get an equitable settlement if you divorce.  It's a bigger risk if you were never married, as if she empties your account and splits, you have no recourse.


That said, it may well be a risk you are willing to take.  How you run your financial life and relationships are for the two of you to decide, and no-one else's business.  Personally, I don't think I would ever have a joint account with someone again, even if I remaried in my community property state, but that's me and my experience with a 25 marriage and an unexpected and unexpectedly nasty divorce. YMMV.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 399
Registered: ‎08-21-2013

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

Working at a bank allows me to see how many couples run their finances. The vast majority of them who have been married successfully for a long time have Joint finances, all their budgeting is pooled and they are heavily involved in each other's spending habits. Their account structure often is a single joint checking, a checking for each spouse that is solely theirs, and each of them has a savings as well. They typically work it out so that each of them is able to save about the same amount, and pay all their bills and have a small amount of fun money or mad money each pay cycle.


I should disclaimer though, this is simply the most common one I see. There are many who have purely joint or purely separate finances who are successful. It all depends on what works best for your household. The reason most people admit to using the above structure is it allows them to still run their home jointly financially, but also provides them both security if surprises arise.

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Regular Contributor
Posts: 146
Registered: ‎10-07-2013

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

[ Edited ]

Absolutely not stupid! Having seperate finances would be so stressful for me. I'll admit, I'm controlling when it comes to these sorts of things and knowing that his finances will be an important factor in our future purchases, it's important to me that I know what's going on. My boyfriend and I have never argued about money and I think it's because our finances are combined. If he wants to buy a new video game, he knows that I won't mind and if I want to go to Sephora and buy an expensive shampoo, I know he won't bug me about it. We have kind of a soft $100 rule, if either of us is planning to buy something that's more than around $100, we consult first. We each still have individual checking accounts, but they're both empty. We keep all of our money in our joint checking account and a joint credit union savings account. We are planning to each open Roth IRAs this year, so those will obviously be seperate, but we'll likely be contributing equal amounts to both. I pay all of the bills and take care of our finances and just consult him when there's anything out of the ordinary. He likes not having to worry much about it and I enjoy doing it.

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Posts: 8
Registered: ‎01-15-2009

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

[ Edited ]
My ex and I had a joint checking, savings and credit card. The mortgage and all the personal/car loans we had over the years were also joint. It had to be that way since I didn't work for a big chuck of time and had zero income. It made things so easy. Eventually he got MORE credit cards, in his name only, and began to have a spending problem., When I realized we were not going to stay together I paid it off and reported it as lost (never activated the replacements) and got some individual credit for myself. When I told him the joint card was cancelled he just got another one in his name only and never thought about it again. The account is still open, pending the divorce, but I'll be closing it for good along with the joint checking and savings in 2014. He wasn't out to get me financially so it worked out, but the risk is always there for people who don't have the time to change things like I did. As long as you are in it together I think having joint finances is the way to go.
Posts: 79
Registered: ‎04-02-2013

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

Me and my wife share nothing. It works because we both are aware of what needs to be paid and thats it. Keep your own money. We dont file together and no joint accounts. This way if there is a break up no one has an opportunity to lash out by spending someone else's money.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 144
Registered: ‎08-20-2010

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

Bleu wrote:


Me and my wife share nothing. It works because we both are aware of what needs to be paid and thats it. Keep your own money. We dont file together and no joint accounts. This way if there is a break up no one has an opportunity to lash out by spending someone else's money.


I wonder how that works. Do you split the utility costs, or is it relative to income? Or maybe based on usage? If you like the shower a few degrees warmer than she does, do you throw in an extra dime on the way out? Sorry, I just don't know!

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