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Established Member
alkaline
Posts: 26
Registered: ‎02-12-2014
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Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"

Very cool!

 

I'm 18 and am in college. I opened a Charles Schwab brokerage account, which is where I have nearly all of the money I don't need to use yet. I invest in stocks and have made some nice gains. I also have an IRA with them which I use for investing the money I definitely won't be touching until I retire.

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Valued Contributor
tcbofade
Posts: 2,441
Registered: ‎09-26-2011
0

Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"

I, also, have to lie to BOTH families about dollars.

 

DW and I are honest with eachother and with our three children....but that honesty does NOT leave the house and we are all aware of the hows and whys.

 

There are folks in DW's family and folks in my family that will call us monthly just needing a this or a that...and we simply cannot afford to support all of them AND ourselves...


Current Scores: EX 706 (FCR) TU08: 641 Wally.11/23/14
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cclee
Posts: 223
Registered: ‎08-10-2012
0

Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"

Same here, neither of our families know what we make.  My parents hit up most of my brothers and sisters, but assume we have nothing to give them, I love my parents but I would rather they assume we "don't have a pot".  Now my husbands parents would never come to us for money and always try to pay for everything, but they are very close to retirement so i'd rather they allow us to treat them once in a while.  I'd just rather no one on either side knows what we make, my side would hit us up every chance given, and they gossip a lot about who has what, and I don't like that kind of gossip so I fake that we are just getting by.  




In The Garden Until 11/01/15 - Last App 11/03/13
Regular Contributor
jd352
Posts: 287
Registered: ‎05-15-2013
0

Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"

This is unfortunate but very true story. I often find myself concealing what I have as well. My parents have never had much but always managed to make due; however, they made mistakes that cost me a lot of money when it came to financing my college. They agreed to pay the interest off on my loans while I was in college. I found out one weekend when visiting they were behind on almost all of the payments when I found past due statements for my loans. I was already working 30 hours and going to school full time, there was not much more I could do other than start living more frugal than I already did. So, I scaled back. Stopped buying text books and finding other ways to access them. I learned they bailed my grandparents out multiple times with money they had 'supposedly' (or so I was told) set aside for my college education. I left college nearly 70k in student loan debt. Over the past 4.5 years, I have completely paid off that debt by continuing to live frugally. However, I continue to let my parents think I am still 60k+ in student loan debt.

As a reward to very closely becoming debt free, I purchased a new car paid for 100%. It reminds me of the hard work I did. The first time they saw it, they were happy, but I could tell they were a bit taken back by the fact I bought a new car while still being in so much debt. At some point  they are going to realize I am doing well, but in the mean time I guess they just think I am being foolish with money. Little do they know, I am leaps and bounds above them financially. I do sometimes feel guilty about not being completely honest because, in all fairness, they are amazing and raised me well, just not financially. That I had to learn on my own.


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dobirdsmommy
Posts: 227
Registered: ‎02-29-2012
0

Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"

I am in amazement. This is why I have tax liens against myself and my husband.  Supporting 2 family members and saying oh yeah claim us and then they went and filed on their own. Left us holding the bag with penalties for 49k.  oh need rent, My body shop rent needs to be paid,  oh need money to buy boyfriend his special chicken, car insurance, tickets, UGHH  And then the one family member gets a lump sum and offers to LOAN me with points money to help. REALLY? LOAN ME PLUS INTEREST???? CUT CUT SNIP SNIP my own mother.

2011 starting score 383 pull for Santander, EX 639, EQ 669, TU 651 (lending club pull)
Wallet:ME: 750 Cap One, 5k Quicksilver/rewards, 750 Capital one, Gamestop CC 1150, 2370 FH, Santander Car 9.6k/15k, Chase Auto Loan 12/16k, VS 1150, BH 1020, Express 1000, Avenue 750, JCrew 800, HSN 1070, Torrid 700,Roamans 800, Jessica London 940, kings direct 800, Buckle 800, OSP 1050, WW 1050, Solutions 800, Blair 750.. baddies: 2 FP CO 08,
DH: 750 Cap One 750 Cap One 750 capital one fh 2000, AU - VS, BH, HSN, QS 5k
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youdontkillmoney
Posts: 436
Registered: ‎04-03-2014
0

Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"


dobirdsmommy wrote:

I am in amazement. This is why I have tax liens against myself and my husband.  Supporting 2 family members and saying oh yeah claim us and then they went and filed on their own. Left us holding the bag with penalties for 49k.  oh need rent, My body shop rent needs to be paid,  oh need money to buy boyfriend his special chicken, car insurance, tickets, UGHH  And then the one family member gets a lump sum and offers to LOAN me with points money to help. REALLY? LOAN ME PLUS INTEREST???? CUT CUT SNIP SNIP my own mother.


^^^^

Sometimes it's hard to say not o family members/friends and unfortunately in your situation you are left holding the bag and disgruntled for it.

I give my mom $1,000 every month ($12,000 a year) and pay for my in laws health insurance premiums ($7,500 a year) and their vision insurance ($420 a year) and on top of that give them $1,000 a month ($12,000 a year) too. My mom doesn't need the money, I just do it out of appreciation for raising me but she got used to it and expects it, The in laws are having a harder time financially and need it. For both I can muster the strength and tell them "no more, I can't afford it and lie, but we've been affording it for the past 5+ years. But I know I will be strong enough to say "no, I can't afford it" when people start asking for more because it's important to watch/take care of yourself first.

Regular Contributor
dobirdsmommy
Posts: 227
Registered: ‎02-29-2012
0

Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"


youdontkillmoney wrote:

dobirdsmommy wrote:

I am in amazement. This is why I have tax liens against myself and my husband.  Supporting 2 family members and saying oh yeah claim us and then they went and filed on their own. Left us holding the bag with penalties for 49k.  oh need rent, My body shop rent needs to be paid,  oh need money to buy boyfriend his special chicken, car insurance, tickets, UGHH  And then the one family member gets a lump sum and offers to LOAN me with points money to help. REALLY? LOAN ME PLUS INTEREST???? CUT CUT SNIP SNIP my own mother.


^^^^

Sometimes it's hard to say not o family members/friends and unfortunately in your situation you are left holding the bag and disgruntled for it.

I give my mom $1,000 every month ($12,000 a year) and pay for my in laws health insurance premiums ($7,500 a year) and their vision insurance ($420 a year) and on top of that give them $1,000 a month ($12,000 a year) too. My mom doesn't need the money, I just do it out of appreciation for raising me but she got used to it and expects it, The in laws are having a harder time financially and need it. For both I can muster the strength and tell them "no more, I can't afford it and lie, but we've been affording it for the past 5+ years. But I know I will be strong enough to say "no, I can't afford it" when people start asking for more because it's important to watch/take care of yourself first.


No she used us for 8 years. Never paid rent, bills, food, insurance, nothing.  Getting served by the IRS and NYS was the last straw for tax fraud, because they let us file them and filed behind our backs.

 

   She had me working at 11 to help pay rent, cable, food, and phone when she was getting CS plus alimony.  I have no sympathy now that all the CC and people she burned are now suing her. I didnt run up her cards on expensive things she did.   She didnt even pay my high school so I could get my damn diploma. I had to!  There is a difference between help and abuse.

 

When I got my two car loans, her response oh must be nice to be rich. No I just work for my ISH.  Granted they are Nissans she got her big settlement check and she goes out and buys an escalade!

 

Parents are supposed to want your kids to do better than them. She is jealous.

2011 starting score 383 pull for Santander, EX 639, EQ 669, TU 651 (lending club pull)
Wallet:ME: 750 Cap One, 5k Quicksilver/rewards, 750 Capital one, Gamestop CC 1150, 2370 FH, Santander Car 9.6k/15k, Chase Auto Loan 12/16k, VS 1150, BH 1020, Express 1000, Avenue 750, JCrew 800, HSN 1070, Torrid 700,Roamans 800, Jessica London 940, kings direct 800, Buckle 800, OSP 1050, WW 1050, Solutions 800, Blair 750.. baddies: 2 FP CO 08,
DH: 750 Cap One 750 Cap One 750 capital one fh 2000, AU - VS, BH, HSN, QS 5k
Member
newdeep
Posts: 14
Registered: ‎07-09-2007
0

Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"

Good read. 

I don't make a lot (and have horrible credit right now) but I am on the road to recovery. That being said. My family is always asking for money if they know I have it and sometimes when I dont-part of the reason I have horrible credit to start with. Every year when I get my tax return I pay off some bills, future pay a few more and save the rest just in case because there is always a just in case. Well every year someone asks for money to cover this or that. This year I lied about not getting one so no one asked. I have also opened a secured card and haven't told anyone because I don't want to put a lot on it and I know they would ask me to. IE You can fly to visit just put it on your card or can you buy me this with your card and I will pay you back when I get paid. 

 

 


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Gale1
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎05-27-2014
0

Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"

I think that so many people feel responsible for the people close to them, when in fact most of these people are taking advantage of them. I have had the same thing with both friends and family, I was taken advantage of because I made good money and they just wanted to get something because they thought ‘I had enough anyway’. 

Regular Contributor
physicist82
Posts: 174
Registered: ‎06-06-2014
0

Re: "Why I lie to my parents about how much money I make"


Gale1 wrote:

I think that so many people feel responsible for the people close to them, when in fact most of these people are taking advantage of them. I have had the same thing with both friends and family, I was taken advantage of because I made good money and they just wanted to get something because they thought ‘I had enough anyway’. 


I had those types of things happen when I didn't make good money.

 

When 18 in my last year in high school and I got my first credit card my parents asked me to pay some bill of some kind it may have even been the mortgage payment and they would cover my car insurance for a couple of months so that I could pay the card off. Never happened. That card lasted a little bit longer and ended up getting charged off soon after I started college because I just could never get caught up on it. My mom was alright with money before she got married to my step-father and then he just ruined everything and they got the middle class keeping up with the Jones's bug. They had to each have a car with car payment, cable, this and that etc etc. I had paid my own car payment and insurance since 16 and my first cell phone since 17. I think I am the only high schooler whose parent was stupid enough to go to a dealership and get them a car with a car payment on it. That's what I needed when I was in HS, a $200/mon car payment, sure. A responsible parent would have helped me find a nice little used car for really cheap that I could pay cash for.

 

A few years later when I was half way through college my mom "needed" a new car because she drove 1hr+ each way back and forth for work and her full covereage warranty was almost up. It had too much mileage to be worth trading in (even though it was only 2 yrs old) so they convinced my grandmother (who had co-signed on my truck with me) that my truck was unsafe to drive to college each day and that I should take over payments on her car. I went from $300/mon to $425/mon while going to school and barely working part time. Really? I didn't have to switch pymts until they got my truck sold off and once it did my Gmother was supposed to pay the diff between my pymt and the new one, but then my step-father took his paid off car and my truck in to a dealership and traded them both in for a new truck (idiot). My grandmother did pay the difference for a few months but then my daughter was born and I guess she just forgot. We paid that off years ago (its an 01 and we've had it since 03 and we paid it off years early) but it didn't help our credit since it was in my mom's name still. We still have that car and it has just at the end of last year given up its last leg (needs a $1000 CAT in an emissions state) so we got our first new car ever. We have a mini-van that we paid off earlier that year but we bought it used. SO used to have to loan money to his parents when he was in HS too for various reasons with the promise that they would pay his car insurance just for him to find out months later that they let it lapse and he had no insurance. 

 

Its amazing we have survived as well as we have with the financial disasters of family we grew up with. At least his parents are pay for everything with cash people so they have really old cars with no pymts that they constantly pay a bunch of money to fix up. 


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