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separating finances during marriage.

Established Member

Re: separating finances during marriage.

In my personal opinion its a bad idea.

 

You are seperating your finances under the illusion that somehow your problems financially will go away.  They wont.  Behavior has to change in oder for the circumstances of the problem to change.

Regular Contributor

Re: separating finances during marriage.

For the first half of our marriage, we had quasi-seperate finances (two joint accounts, so that debit cards didn't cause issues), and seperate credit cards.  Later, when I got involved in an LLC/partnership for business reasons, we completely seperated things (so that nothing could come back on him if the business went bad).  We are both on the mortgage, but that's it.  He pays the household bills, I direct deposit money into his household account.  We both still consider it "our" money, we consult on purchases etc, and pass money back and forth freely, but I like knowing that if one of us has a legal issue, everything we own won't get frozen.


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Regular Contributor

Re: separating finances during marriage.

We have been living together for 4 years now, and she has her own savings/checking/credit cards and I have my own. We have nothing that is joint (at least yet) and we like it that way. I pay for all bills one month, she pays for everything the other month. We can see how much money we make, how much we can save each month and what we can afford. It gives us a sense of pride and accomplishment to see our own progress and how we handle money.

 

I really don't think it matters how you budget and how you keep track of spending and who pays for what. At the end of the day it all comes down to your spending habits, if you like to spend money you will spend money and will find a way to spend it (even if you don’t have it).

 

We always discuss bigger purchases either for the home, or personal use. We don't have a set amount when we starting talking to each other about a purchase.  We are not asking each other for permission, we are more discussing it so we know what we are buying and if it makes sense, should we wait with the purchase or not, do we really need it or will it sit in the corner and collect dust. Me telling her what I would like to buy is for me to see if I really need it as she always gives me her opinion. I trust her and she trusts me that we will not go crazy and spend all of our savings on useless items. I guess I am pretty lucky to have found someone that is responsible with money.

Regular Contributor

Re: separating finances during marriage.

Me and my husband has everything as joint except our checking accounts temporarily. A few years ago when I graduated college things were really tight and the checking I had since a teenager got closed for being overdrawn. He had made a house pmt and was trying to float till pay day. Sigh. It was our joint checking but since I added him it's on my Chex instead of his. I opened up an account at a credit union and he opened up one at local bank immediately. Even though we want to we can't add each other yet to have the same account. His pulls Chex and mine requires a 620 score that he doesn't have. It's a huge pain - 2 years to go though on the Chex.

I'm fairly old fashioned in that I believe everything should be joint. What's the point of marriage if you can't trust your spouse financially. But I'm not really a spender. He isn't really a spender either but he isn't good with budgets and long term planning. He's bad about just going with the flow without paying attention to what's what. After having a hard time finding employment after graduation, he got a promotion and we decided it works pretty well me being a SAHM. It has taken me 4 years to realize he really does consider the money he makes "ours". I am always asking him if he resents me not working the last few years, and he eases my mind everytime saying it's our paycheck. I'm such an independent person though and it's hard sometimes. But I'm extremely lucky he's an amazing guy. Anyway lol off topic a little but I truly feel finances should be together.


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New Visitor

Re: separating finances during marriage.

I don't mind keep the financial assets separate. It is a great solution essential to prevent any possible and annoying clashes over the distinct differences in spending styles, for instance.