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separating finances during marriage.

Member

separating finances during marriage.

Hey all,

My wife and I are separating our finances(my idea) this week and I was wondering if anyone had done this and how it went.

I consider myself the saver/planner. I have spreadsheets and forecasts so I can see where I'll be in 1-3 years and try to follow as best I can. I have goals like a home for the family and nice cars. Savings for piece of mind.

Mean while my wife can't follow through on simple budgets. She seems more interested in paying for her wants over bills. We recently were discharged from chapter 7.

Last week we spoke about the need to replace our car that we have back and I said I want comfortable taking on a new obligation unless we agreed to follow a budget. She agrees but wants no part in creating it. OK fine we'll go with or strengths and I'll create it. Needless to say by the time the weekend rolled around she had already busted the budget.

I told her this was the last straw and I was tired of living paycheck to paycheck. ( we both make decent salary's around 55k ). We have two kids so that's a big part of our budget.

Moving on. We've moved our direct deposits to our individual accounts away from the joint. We have split bill duties. Basically down the middle. I'm hoping this forces her to realize you need to plan and look ahead with money if you want to live within your means.

Also would like her to grow up financially without bringing me down and stressing me out. Idk hopefully this works!!
Chapter 7 discharge 10/16/2014

Fico's as of 11/14/14
Experian 532 TransUnion 514 Equifax 525
44 REPLIES
Established Member

Re: separating finances during marriage.

I just got married about a year ago and this is what we've been doing which seems to be working great:

 

1) We have a joint bank account where we deposit X dollars a month which covers our mortgage/maintenance fees/utilities/car payments.... basically all our recurring expenses come out of this account.  This money does not get touched by either of us.

2)We have our own checking accounts where a fixxed dollar amount gets deposited for our miscelaneous expenses, coffee, gas, eating out

3)we have a joint savings account where a portion of our paychecks go in to and we consider "rainy day" funds

4)we have a vanguard account where the rest goes to.

 

Separating duties is not a bad idea, but I am so OCD about not having any balances that I take responsibility for all the bills.  My wife's only "duty" is to make her contribution to the joint checking account.  Not that it really matters, but my latest fico score is 829....I try to keep it a fine oiled machine.

Member

Re: separating finances during marriage.

Sounds like what I had wanted to do myself. The issue was getting my wife to stop dipping into the joint account for her own spending.

I'd like to note we've been married for 6 years now so this was a long time coming. I had setup 1 joint and 2 individual. Putting an allowance in our individial accounts and the remainder in joint. But the joint was always treated as an overflow buffer.

This drove me crazy because I could go a whole month on 5 dollars. Now I'll be able to be sure bills are paid and I can secure my future albeit on my own wage. Hopefully after a little while of this she matures financially and we can move back to the way your currently doing it.

Chapter 7 discharge 10/16/2014

Fico's as of 11/14/14
Experian 532 TransUnion 514 Equifax 525
Established Member

Re: separating finances during marriage.

If she's dipping in to the joint, you might need to allow her to put a little more in to her personal and take away the debit card associated with the joint.

Super Contributor

Re: separating finances during marriage.


jevangel wrote:
Hey all,

My wife and I are separating our finances(my idea) this week and I was wondering if anyone had done this and how it went.

I consider myself the saver/planner. I have spreadsheets and forecasts so I can see where I'll be in 1-3 years and try to follow as best I can. I have goals like a home for the family and nice cars. Savings for piece of mind.

Mean while my wife can't follow through on simple budgets. She seems more interested in paying for her wants over bills. We recently were discharged from chapter 7.

Last week we spoke about the need to replace our car that we have back and I said I want comfortable taking on a new obligation unless we agreed to follow a budget. She agrees but wants no part in creating it. OK fine we'll go with or strengths and I'll create it. Needless to say by the time the weekend rolled around she had already busted the budget.

I told her this was the last straw and I was tired of living paycheck to paycheck. ( we both make decent salary's around 55k ). We have two kids so that's a big part of our budget.

Moving on. We've moved our direct deposits to our individual accounts away from the joint. We have split bill duties. Basically down the middle. I'm hoping this forces her to realize you need to plan and look ahead with money if you want to live within your means.

Also would like her to grow up financially without bringing me down and stressing me out. Idk hopefully this works!!

Tough subject, my man...

 

You gotta do what you gotta do. My wife also came from a "we'll pay for it later" type of family where every dime was spent before it made it to the bank and I basically had to retrain her on how money works. How she kept her credit score from tanking before I came along is anyone's guess, She was terrible with the late payments (Never later than 15 days though)

 

I found out she'd kept a card from me and running it near the limit monthly, I'd had enough and took charge of our household finances and credit. This is what prompted me partially to start repairing my credit in methods other than time. Smiley Happy

 

I wish you the best of luck with this.

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Valued Contributor

Re: separating finances during marriage.


jevangel wrote:

The issue was getting my wife to stop dipping into the joint account for her own spending.

 

Are you saying that separating finances works for you or that it doesn't?

 

Member

Re: separating finances during marriage.

Thanks for the input. I can tell you one thing joint accounts definitely was NOT working. This week is our first week with splitting our money up and bills.

So far seems OK. Has kinda put me behind the eightball a bit though as I had no savings so we have rent coming up that is now responsibility and she has daycare costs.

After next month I should be starring to put away 300 or so of my own money. Then January I get 3 checks so ilp be setup going into 2015.


Chapter 7 discharge 10/16/2014

Fico's as of 11/14/14
Experian 532 TransUnion 514 Equifax 525
Frequent Contributor

Re: separating finances during marriage.

I'm pretty much the money Nazi around here. I don't trust my partner regarding paying bills (we went through that many years ago), so I take care of all money issues and tasks.

 

Here's the way I see it: Simply put, I am much better at managing money than he is. It's in our best interest for me to handle those things. So I do.

 

He has a few credit cards on his own now, and I periodically check in with him to make sure he's managing those ok. Today is the day that I ask those questions for the month. I always dread it.

EX myFICO 850 - EQ myFICO 849 - TU myFICO 850
Goal Score: 800+ across the board! *DONE!!!*
Super Contributor

Re: separating finances during marriage.

gamegrrl - understand it is like "tip toeing through the tulips". Best of luck.
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Established Contributor

Re: separating finances during marriage.

We been together for almost 17 years. We have separate checking account deposit about half of my check every month. He pays the billsin the remaining money I have is for household and private spending. We each have a separate savings account which we both have access to and we both deposit to those every month.it works out well for us. We chat on credit card and pay them off on our own.

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