03-20-2012 08:37 AM
How is DH taking all of this?
Follow my financial journey: http://www.frugalrican.com
03-20-2012 10:06 AM
DH is surprised and furious. Got the certified thing in the mailbox and I knew what it was right away. He said NO WAY is she doing that.
03-20-2012 10:08 AM
I'm really glad it's a united stand then.
I have a feeling she is going to end up regretting her actions further along in life.
Follow my financial journey: http://www.frugalrican.com
03-20-2012 12:52 PM
03-20-2012 02:00 PM
Thanks, guys. I know this post either makes people furious at my/our callousness or people can relate.
It depends on the state you are in what child support laws they have for child attending school - Some don't past 18/19, some all the way to 23. Do you know your state's laws? If your husband can, have him discuss with his son NOW what his plans are so at least you guys know. Try to work out a way that your husband can support your son without the state butting in. I wish that would have been our option.
Regarding her regretting it, I don't think so. She is a little criminal minded brat who can't even correctly put an address on an envelope. I think that the support stopped because she didn't notify DCS of her new address, because in the packet was her new contact information. I guess it took 2 months to figure out she wasn't getting any money.
03-20-2012 02:08 PM
DH and I have both spoke to his son about his plans after high school. Lovely child likes to reply "that's over a year away, I don't need to worry about it right now"...
Well, we've told him he has several options available to him:
1. live with us, work part time, school full time - no need to pay for rent
2. live with us, work full time - pay rent $300/mo
3. go into the military
4. live with his mother (she's on disability and has no intentions of working so he'll most likely need to support her and her drinking habit)
DH is taking him to a recruiter on his 17th birthday (4/7) which should be a nice eye opener. It's really sad but I've come to realize that no matter how hard you try to raise your child (or step-child), they are their own person and will make their own choices in life. DH and I will always be there as a supportive role in his life, but we will no way be his financial tool. The bank of Kevin and Courtney officially closes on 6/7/13.
(Nevada law mentions that child support can be determined for college, BUT DH has already explained to him that IF he attends school, he will live with US....no exceptions)
03-22-2012 10:04 PM
I'm so sorry Booner
If my dad so happened to pay me child support, I don't think I could do that after loosing his job, medical problems, and then loosing his house. Of course my dad never paid child support, because it was my mom that left me. Funny, she has never paid child support, and I have never heard of a female paying child support despite they want "equal opportunity"... I'm just poking a little fun
04-28-2012 10:03 AM
Support was stopped 1/2012 as the school wouldn't verify enrollment. On 3/16 daughter sends us forms that she is enrolled and wants it restarted. DH called the school to get grades/class schedule/how many credits and guess what? They won't tell us anything. We sent in written objection 3/20.
Didn't hear anything until yesterday.
Got new orders that it has restarted effective 3/16/12. They blatantly ignored the 3/20 objection. We were told the only thing we could do was object every month if the school continues to fail to tell us what is required by law. (Been doing that and what good is that doing?)
We called again yesterday to get school info. Of course they tell us nothing about grades, class schedule etc. She isn't in school! I just know it!
So Monday we are objecting again (this time CMRRR -- or should I just send certified??) - We are also "appealing", though our only shot at this is that the child has not complied. She complied, the school won't. I seriously doubt they will even take a look at it.
But I am filing a grievance, and I know that will force their hands to take a look at what has been going on. Best case scenario is we "win" and get some "retro" pay, and of course it stops acruing.
We were told by a manager at DOJ "I won't let your case fall through the cracks again." This statement means it DID fall through the cracks, and it means that she lied, and let it fall again. This is the SECOND objection we sent that they just ignore. (this will of course be in the grievance).
I am so furious. 9 months of 307 a mont = 2700+ bucks out the window to this 20 year old adult brat.
Also, this time they say DH has to provide medical. This has been an ongoing battle, as she doesn't want Oregon medical as she is too stupid to use it as "out of network" and thinks it doesn't work. His work would NEVER insure a 20 year old, though mine will til she's 26. I even asked her about a year ago if she wanted me to put her on my medical. She said no. NOW WHAT? I'd have kept her on mine but there wasn't a valid order for medical, so my work wouldn't insure her. Even the papers we got now aren't a legal order that I can tell.
Any advice on how to proceed with the appeals and the grievance is apprecited. I will definitely use IOBA's comment that the state is required to justify that they are legally allowed to collect. (though I put that in the objection 3/20 and they didn't justify, or even respond). Dad's get screwed by child support in every state across this nation. Something has to be done.
Doesn't it seem to you that if her state/school laws don't cooperate with our state laws, then this case should be invalidated? We do NOT want to pay her money until December 22 when she turns 21 and it ends for sure. (Unless of course the laws change and it goes to 23 or even 26 like some other states)!! OH, I won't be able to handle that one.
If you are out there divorcing, see if there is anything you can do to get it in your orders that support ENDS at 18 or h.s. graduation.
04-28-2012 10:20 AM
...If you are out there divorcing, see if there is anything you can do to get it in your orders that support ENDS at 18 or h.s. graduation.
Sorry about the ongoing trauma. I know it's horribly frustrating, and I hope that you will finally be able to get documentation as to whether or not she is truly attending.
As for your last statement, I would gently suggest that rather than getting out of helping one's kids as early as possible, find a way to help them as they transition (in a verifiable manner, unlike your stepdaughter) to adulthood. It's an ugly world out there these days for young people. I don't mean an endless series of payments, but a tapering of support that will help (and encourage) them to stand on their own two feet.
Our children were all 21 or older when we divorced, but DXH keeps our youngest on his health insurance, and he and I split the cost. She works two jobs, 60 hours a week, and neither has health benefits. She starts law school in the fall, and she'll be able to get her own insurance then.
04-28-2012 10:23 AM
I sort of doubt divorce agreements can abort rights the state has given children, LOL!
Better advice might be "give it a lot of thought before you marry someone with kids". I honestly don't envy your husband's position one bit. It's not like she's magically going to pull things together in December and this situation will stop being a source of stress.