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Frequent Contributor
Posts: 305
Registered: ‎05-09-2014

Dark stuff

One of those things that is easier to talk about on the internet.  Does anyone have a friend that is dealing with something reallllllly dark and depressing?  How do you deal with it?  In my particular case, the friend is really falling into a deep depression.  I talk to her about the situation, but it is SERIOUSLY SOME DARK STUFF.  And she has serious decisions to make.  But she kind of wants my help with that, but it is up to her, which I let her know, while remaining supportive.  I am sure that no one really totally understands this, but they might get it on some level. Anyone been in a situation like this recently or ever?  Thanks to everyone reading this.  It feels better already just putting it in words and out there in the world.  Counseling for her may be an option in the future, but not with the current issue.  I guess if anyone knows of a suppoirtive message board for this kind of thing, I would LOVE to know about it. 

Doing my best to garden until December 2015!
EX 695 (02/12/15) TU 704 (02/12/15) EQ 672 (02/12/15)
Amex PRG: NPSL | Amex Everyday: $6000 | Cap 1 QS: $3750 | Cap 1 QS1: $3500 | CareCredit: $5000 | Amazon Synch: $4000 | Walmart Synch: $2200
Valued Contributor
Posts: 3,679
Registered: ‎11-23-2013

Re: Dark stuff


PandiferBear wrote:

One of those things that is easier to talk about on the internet.  Does anyone have a friend that is dealing with something reallllllly dark and depressing?  How do you deal with it?  In my particular case, the friend is really falling into a deep depression.  I talk to her about the situation, but it is SERIOUSLY SOME DARK STUFF.  And she has serious decisions to make.  But she kind of wants my help with that, but it is up to her, which I let her know, while remaining supportive.  I am sure that no one really totally understands this, but they might get it on some level. Anyone been in a situation like this recently or ever?  Thanks to everyone reading this.  It feels better already just putting it in words and out there in the world.  Counseling for her may be an option in the future, but not with the current issue.  I guess if anyone knows of a suppoirtive message board for this kind of thing, I would LOVE to know about it. 


Hi there. I'm sorry to hear that you and your friend are going through this. I guess it depends on the "stuff" that she is going through. I'd suggest you're doing the right thing with in your limited means. As you said, there is only so much you can do, and the rest is up to her. I hope she chooses counseling, but know it will get worse before it gets better.

 

For you I'd suggest some research on "Caregiver burnout" It is a real syndrome that affects people that put so much of themselves into trying to help someone going through trauma, illness, etc. There are tons of forums, and blogs for all kinds of stresses. A google search would narrow it down for you. For example "PTSD message boards", "Depression Message Boards", what ever your specific concern is, it's out there. Best wishes to you and your lady friend.

625 EQ FICO Current Score: 660 DCU EQ FICO/ 645 Scorewatch EQ FICO , EX FICO 664, TU FICO 737 (08/2014)
Goal Score: 700   Seedling again as of 07/29/14
Established Member
Posts: 284
Registered: ‎06-10-2014

Re: Dark stuff


notfancy wrote:

PandiferBear wrote:

One of those things that is easier to talk about on the internet.  Does anyone have a friend that is dealing with something reallllllly dark and depressing?  How do you deal with it?  In my particular case, the friend is really falling into a deep depression.  I talk to her about the situation, but it is SERIOUSLY SOME DARK STUFF.  And she has serious decisions to make.  But she kind of wants my help with that, but it is up to her, which I let her know, while remaining supportive.  I am sure that no one really totally understands this, but they might get it on some level. Anyone been in a situation like this recently or ever?  Thanks to everyone reading this.  It feels better already just putting it in words and out there in the world.  Counseling for her may be an option in the future, but not with the current issue.  I guess if anyone knows of a suppoirtive message board for this kind of thing, I would LOVE to know about it. 


Hi there. I'm sorry to hear that you and your friend are going through this. I guess it depends on the "stuff" that she is going through. I'd suggest you're doing the right thing with in your limited means. As you said, there is only so much you can do, and the rest is up to her. I hope she chooses counseling, but know it will get worse before it gets better.

 

For you I'd suggest some research on "Caregiver burnout" It is a real syndrome that affects people that put so much of themselves into trying to help someone going through trauma, illness, etc. There are tons of forums, and blogs for all kinds of stresses. A google search would narrow it down for you. For example "PTSD message boards", "Depression Message Boards", what ever your specific concern is, it's out there. Best wishes to you and your lady friend.


+1

 

I have never heard of it being called "Caregiver Burnout" before but that goes right along with what i have to say...

 

ALWAYS take care of yourself FIRST. You can't take care of someone else if no one is taking care of you. It is so easy to let yourself fall apart because you are truly trying to do all you can to help.

 

Take that from someone who has been in some pretty dark places at times and has seen the effect it had on the people around me.


Starting Score: 382 - 418 (2005) -- Current Score: 628 (TU08) -- 661 (Beacon 5.0) -- Goal Score: 750+
Into the Garden 6-15-2014 -- Digging in the dirt until 6-2015
Frequent Contributor
Posts: 305
Registered: ‎05-09-2014

Re: Dark stuff

Just wanted to say thanks for your input.  I will remain supportive, but I am going to take some steps back from the whole situation while giving her some ideas of support tools (support boards, etc.) to also help her out.  Thanks again for letting me vent.  Getting the whole thing out (even if just here) helped a lot and put some perspective on it.

Doing my best to garden until December 2015!
EX 695 (02/12/15) TU 704 (02/12/15) EQ 672 (02/12/15)
Amex PRG: NPSL | Amex Everyday: $6000 | Cap 1 QS: $3750 | Cap 1 QS1: $3500 | CareCredit: $5000 | Amazon Synch: $4000 | Walmart Synch: $2200
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