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New Contributor
Posts: 79
Registered: ‎03-16-2008

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories

ok this one is bad.  my boyrfriend was out of town so i didn't ever just not answer the phone.  one evening i was sittining a hot bath and the phone rang.  i get out of the tub, dripping water all over the floor and it turned out to be an MCI rep wanting me to switch.
 
i was so angry!
 
i told him if he came over right now and ate my ***** i'd switch
 
he told me i couldn't talk to him that way.  i said i could as this is america.
 
he hung up and i went back to my bath
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,934
Registered: ‎10-23-2007

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories



HappyDays wrote:
This thread is *AWESOME*    keep it going
 
Haven't had a good laugh in a long time.


Im with HappyDays i just cant control myself, i think this is one of the more better threads! Keep 'em coming guys!
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,934
Registered: ‎10-23-2007

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories

 
"Can I add my wife to the card as an authorized user?" They respond. "OK, great. Now, what if I also add my girlfriend to the card as an authorized user. Is there any way that my wife would be able to call up, review the charges made, or see the names of other authorized users?"
 
"Do I have to use my own social security number when I apply, or can it be someone else's?"
 


WoW Noah, you are genius! These are my fav's, i needed a good laugh today! Keep it up!
Senior Contributor
Posts: 3,462
Registered: ‎11-30-2007

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories

This is a little *gross* but I had caller ID and these people were relentless.
 
T:  Hello Mrs. C., this is ***
Me:  Well Hello!!!!!
T:  I'm calling you today to offer you ***
Me:  Oh Excellent, I'm Interested...Can you Hold Just One Second?
T:  Certainly
Me:  Grunt, Grunt, Groan, Moan, then flush toilet
Me:  Thanks for Waiting, I had to push my dinner past the hemorrhoids.
T:  Gag, Click
Established Contributor
Posts: 837
Registered: ‎02-27-2008

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories

I suddenly wish I hadn't given up on the home phone! I only have a cell phone and get no telemarketers. Smiley Sad
 
 
FEB '08 FAKOs: TU 628 | EX 650 | EQ 584
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EQ FICO: FEB '08 646 | APR '08 678 | SEP '08 679
Epic Contributor
Posts: 22,406
Registered: ‎01-17-2008

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories



Shnapple wrote:
I suddenly wish I hadn't given up on the home phone! I only have a cell phone and get no telemarketers. Smiley Sad





You are very lucky. I only have a cell phone and I get at least 10 a day and am on the no call list. If I do not recognize the number, I do not answer.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,451
Registered: ‎03-19-2008

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories

I just let my 3-yo answer the phone Smiley Happy No one knows our home phone # except me, DH, and every telemarketer in the universe. No family, no friends. We communicate with all of them on our cells...
 
So we know that if it rings, it's a telemarketer. (We ALSO know it's NOT a debt collector, which is the best feeling in the worrld!!!)... anyway, since DD is almost 4, I let her "practice" her phone answering skills when the home phone rings. She knows to say that Mommy's not here, even though I stand beside her and audibly coach her on what to say, and how to respond appropriately.
It's the greatest Smiley Happy
 
Here's her side of the conversation from a recent call:
" 'lo?
 'lo? Mommy's not home.
Oh, Mommy, he says his named Bwent. 'Sabout a (garbledy-goo kiddy talk).
Oh Bwent, she's not here. Umm, know what I like 'bout Flintstones?
Mommy, he says 'sabout da mphn-doin-wider. It's a 'poitant phone call.
Nooo, my Mommy's not home. Um, wanna see what my monkey doll does?
'lo? 'loooooo?"
 
It's hilaaarious. What's so funny, is they can hear her talking to me, and me responding.. they just can't convince her to give me the phone and talk to me. Eventually they figure it out and hang up. It cracks me up every time. You know, though, I notice our phone has been awful quiet lately... hmmm Smiley Happy
 
Moderator Emeritus
Posts: 2,050
Registered: ‎04-17-2007

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories

I missed my opportunity last night for a great come-back.
 
DF and I were having dinner. A telemarketer asked if there was a 25-55 year old male available.
 
I should have said, "well, there's one here but he's not available because we're engaged." Smiley Happy
-----------------
Bartender, bring another round of FICOtinis please!

9.4.2011: TU 805. EQ 815.
New Member
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎05-18-2008

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories

I had a collector bugging me for $10k on a repo vehicle. I wasn't about to pay that much. He would not stop calling me no matter what. So, I told him I was posting his company phone number on several internet forums and solicit people to bug the heck out of this guy. I posted it on several different cities' Craigslists and on a teenage niece's MySpace page, asking people to help me by pestering this collector. I knew that the calls would cost him money as an 800 number's toll charges are forwarded to them. Also, every time they would call, I would call back using every cellphone we had in the home, about 5 depending on who was over at the time, all at once.

Needless to say, in about a week, he called and said if we took his number off the internet, that he would stop calling. That was the last we heard of him.
New Member
Posts: 14
Registered: ‎05-26-2008

Re: Funny Collection or Telemarketer Stories

I'm going to try to make this a quick story, and maybe it's only funny if you know my DH, so here goes.
 
I have an acct. in CA, not sure how it got there, long story (you can find it on repairing your credit).
 
I have gone round and round with these people while waiting for our money to arrive from selling stock so I can pay up.  (I have not told them this yet).
 
They want my bank account #, um, NO.    
 
They tell me I can pay them as little as $200 a month.  At 32% interest mind you so then I'm really paying them $200 a month just to stop calling me.  Is there a place where I can get my inlaws on that plan? 
 
They keep telling me "then we have no choice, you will have to pay us $3200 now and then $300 a month or we'll send this to an attorney".   Mind you at the default rate of 32%.
 
So my husband is all fired up and thinks he's tough and the next time they call I tell him not to get it but he's feeling some fight in him and he answers.  I'm thinking this guy is going to fold like a house of cards on a windy day.
 
So he goes into the basement for about 30 minutes and I can't really hear what he's saying and I'm just glad that he can barely remember our phone number with area code let alone know what our checking account routing and account number are, so I feel safe.
 
He comes back up the stairs and holds the phone away and says "honey, I have Amex on the phone (when really it's the CA), they say we must give them $3200 before the 30th but then we can pay them just $300 a month", and he seems pretty happy about this even though we (he and I) have just discussed when the stock money comes in these guys will get paid first. 
 
So I said "At 32% interest?" and he says "Yes, they said they can't lower the interest".
 
Good job honey!!   Nice going!  You really showed them!
 
Luckily once I figure out the best way to do it they will be paid this week.
 
 
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