Moral Quandry -- advice pretty please?

Anonymous · ‎02-12-2009

@Lel wrote:
Wonderin, it has always been my understanding that as long as the policyholder gives permission to another person to drive a car, then that person is covered. It does not matter whether it is a relative or a friend. This has already been mentioned.

Yes, that's true. Geico and USAA told me that this morning. They said that nowadays, at least, "the insurance follows the car." They said the only time they wouldn't cover the damage were if the DGD lived with the policy-holder and wasn't on the insurance (apparently, if the driver lives with you, they have to be on the insurance <-- didn't know that). However, the DGD does NOT live with the DGM.

Something you wrote indicates to me that Geico will cover the damage to your auto even though the granddaughter is not specifically on the policy. You wrote, "I get a call from Geico stating that she had decided to pay out-of-pocket and said that I need to decide if I'm okay with that." To me, this suggests that Geico would have been ready to pay the claim, but that the policyholder had decided to go the personal loan route. If the Geico were not going to cover the granddaughter, they would have said, "our policy won't cover the damage to your car, so the policyholder has to take out a personal loan."

As has been said already, there are a lot of open questions in your situation. We all know that accidents will drive up the cost of insurance; a claim for $3000 will could cost much more than that in the form of the out-of-pocket deductible and higher premiums. If the grandmother and granddaughter already have a couple of claims, then they could be looking at astronomical rates, or worse, loss of insurance coverage.

Here's a suggestion (that you husband won't like): if you are able to cover the cost right now, would you be willing to be the "lender" to the grandmother? You could offer a much better interest rate than what would be available from the banks (don't these run well in excess of 10%). You'd want to make this a formalized agreement, with strict repayment terms and the provision for penalties if they default.

I'd honestly love to. And with our tax refund (roughly $10K) we *could* afford to. DH would NEVER go for it, though. His biggest fear is that we'll land in small claims court (and if you've not noticed from my posts, he would NOT do well in front of a judge. Not one bit). He'd be afraid that she'd default on the loan and we'd end up in front of a judge (and the judge wouldn't like him).

(Please don't get me wrong -- my DH is a great guy ... I wouldn't love him so much if he weren't! But he is ... a bit rough 'round the edges on certain things. For one, he's not Southern and the Southern way of doing things and saying things is, in his mind, just a waste of time. For another, he went, as a kid, from a rich kid to a VERY poor kid to an even poorer college student -- so finances are something he takes NO chances with. My hubby has a lot, LOT of issues, but he really is a wonderful guy. Really!)

I think our (between DH and I) biggest issues with this is 1) I'm not so suspicious of people -- I get a good "vibe" from her and I'd trust her ... I'd rather potentially lose out on the cash than risk not helping someone who needed it. 2) I'm just REALLY annoyed at DH at this point. He's telling ME to "handle it" and I don't want to screw this nice lady over -- which is how he believes it MUST be handled. And 3) I'd like to think that if the tables were turned, OUR wishes would be respected -- it's nice to at least hope so. I know that if they weren't respected, DH would be FURIOUS. :/

haulingthescoreup · ‎02-12-2009

I would definitely NOT lend her the money. Sorry, but it looks to me like you are starting to blur a simple, everyday business matter with sentiment, and in the end, this generally causes a lot of bitterness and hurt all around.

If you want to give her the opportunity to bypass her insurance, tell her that you'd like to go with her plan, but that your husband is anxious to get the car repaired, and therefore, you need her to get the loan by 2 pm next Monday, or you'll have to give GEICO the thumbs-up to proceed. And there's nothing unreasonable about that. (A couple of days ago I would have said by tomorrow/ Friday at 2.) There are umpty-million places she can get loans, starting from her own bank or CU right down to a CFL from a friendly store-front loan business.

This is not an unreasonable request. She can probably get a loan in 2 hours, and your husband certainly has a right to ask that things get underway here. Frankly, I'm starting to wonder if I sniff a little foot-dragging going on here by DGM.

edited for terminal fumble-fingers

Message Edited by haulingthescoreup on 02-12-2009 01:14 PM

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007

Anonymous · ‎02-12-2009

My gut instint says go with the insurance company. First off I think she is playing on your sympathy. Secondly that is why we have insurance you will have a smoother transaction.

I mean if she truly wanted to just pay to have your car repaired she would already be handing you the money. Also I agree with your hubby, better protection going thru the insurance company. Good Luck Vicki

marty56 · ‎02-12-2009

IMHO the fact that she contacted GEICO allready makes her desire to pay our of pocket OBE in terms of her rates.

I would say no deal (with GEICO) since if your car gets repaired and after you drive it home, you find more damage, it will be harder to go back to her for more money. Also if they have to keep the car more tan one day, you may be able to get a loner car.

1/25/2021: FICO 850 EQ 848 TU 847 EX

Anonymous · ‎02-12-2009

I personally would go through insurance.

But if you decide to let her get a loan, maybe you can get a written contract that spells out her responsibility in the matter outlining the details of the repair and her responsibility for any future problems directly related to the accident/repairs.

Good luck. I don't envy your dilemma!

Anonymous · ‎02-12-2009

V See signature file below V

Anonymous · ‎02-13-2009

Wonderin, I agree with Hauling. My previous story aside, there are things that will have to be done. An estimate of the damages needs to be done. Obviously this will take some time. Someone else pointed out, that if the repairs are done incorrectly there could also be an issue.

I understand your heart, and it is a beautiful heart indeed. Realize though, if you wait too long the GEICO thing could go away. If DGM doesn't get the loan to fix the car then you will have to go to small claims court. In this instance there are all types of issues that can come up. (For instance judge asks why you denied insurance--just thinking out of the box here). In the end it could end up costing more if you go this route.

Restitution is biblical. We are expected to pay what we owe. I see she wants to do that, but there should be a a set date, so that your options are not lost.

I do not envy the position you are in. I wish you luck no matter what you decide.

Anonymous · ‎02-13-2009

Um, let me make this real easy for you.

I was hit by an elderly woman (80's or so) who ran a red light. (A REALLY red light). She side swiped me, sent me spinning around three times and then flying into the side of a bar (of all places). Not only did the 4 folks she would have RUN OVER if my car didn't save them stand there as witness to the incident. I had a whole bar full of folks see it too. She begged and pleaded with me not to go through her insurance company and promised she'd come up with the money within a week, but asked me to get 2 estimates. I did get 2 estimates. Provided them both to her and even agreed to let her go with the lower cost estimate - and both places said the car should really be totalled out but they could fix it.

She said she'd have the money by the next day and would bring it to the repair shop. She never showed up. I called her twice after and she didn't return my calls. I called her insurance company and even with a police report, 4 pedestrian witnesses and a bar full of folks that saw the whole ordeal, she claimed it wasn't her fault. Her insurance company was some piddily no name company name I never heard of and I ended up having to claim the whole thing on my insurance. The car was totalled out my insurance company, after my deductible and the car being 7 years old, I wound up with peanuts for a replacement and lost a really reliable car that I loved. Also, wound up with a car payment that I had no plans of taking on.

It doesn't pay to be kind. Not in situations like these. I got majorly screwed over.If you don't have the heart to tell her, let your husband make the call. And, just be done with it. It wasn't your fault and it's not your burden to carry!

Anonymous · ‎02-13-2009

Oh and I broke my ribs, too. But I didn't even bother with that. I had health insurance and just dealt with it. You'd think an old woman who sent a young 20 something girl flying into a building with broken ribs would keep her word, but....ya just never know.

Junejer · ‎02-13-2009

haulingthescoreup wrote:
I would definitely NOT lend her the money. Sorry, but it looks to me like you are starting to blur a simple, everyday business matter with sentiment, and in the end, this generally causes a lot of bitterness and hurt all around.

If you want to give her the opportunity to bypass her insurance, tell her that you'd like to go with her plan, but that your husband is anxious to get the car repaired, and therefore, you need her to get the loan by 2 pm next Monday, or you'll have to give GEICO the thumbs-up to proceed. And there's nothing unreasonable about that. (A couple of days ago I would have said by tomorrow/ Friday at 2.) There are umpty-million places she can get loans, starting from her own bank or CU right down to a CFL from a friendly store-front loan business.

This is not an unreasonable request. She can probably get a loan in 2 hours, and your husband certainly has a right to ask that things get underway here. Frankly, I'm starting to wonder if I sniff a little foot-dragging going on here by DGM.

edited for terminal fumble-fingers
Message Edited by haulingthescoreup on 02-12-2009 01:14 PM

I don't know if I could agree any more with this. HTSU expresses my sentiments exactly. If it's not done by thus and such a time and date, then GEICO gets the go ahead.