Thanks ya'll!
I was REALLY unsure as to whether I being too prideful in the whole situation. DH CLEARLY thinks I'm overreacting (and has been nice as pie -- almost ingratiating) since I first gave him the cold shoulder (DH's translation: "Uh-oh, if she's mad AND quiet, she's plotting something"). Needless to say, although the man outweighs me by 160 pounds and is roughly half a foot taller than me, I've got him nervous. "Poor man" tossed and turned all night!
(BTW, he doesn't sleep on the couch when I'm mad -- that's too easy on him. He needs to be right next to me, worrying about what I MIGHT do once he falls asleep! He's a heavy sleeper -- and I'm not!
)
And Hauling, saying that I agree with you on the whole "being nicer to family" thing (among so many others) would be a mere understatement. Home is a REFUGE. It's a sanctuary against the world. A place to feel safe, secure and loved -- especially valuable on days where everyone's ripped you a nice new one to go with the one you already had.
I swear the man's a loon, though. If someone even breathed a bad word about me, that booger would be up in arms, screaming to the high heavers. But he doesn't believe his own hype when it comes to how he acts sometimes.
But really, all that ranting aside, I just wanted to know if I was overreacting -- or being a "chick" about the whole thing. I didn't even see it so much as a ding on me personally or as a woman, as much as I did as it being an issue of integrity and professionalism.
Now, 'cause of ya'll's reactions, I see that while I might not be 100% right, I'm at least not 100% wrong. Thank you again, guys!!
And since I AM so pi$$ed off about the whole thing (really, he really did treat me like a monkey with an Etch-A-Sketch -- the people who work FOR him, he drives bonkers, too, so it's not just me) I'm not doing the d@mned thing. He can poop something out in Microsoft Paint for all I care. And he can get his patootie sued for copyright infringement of the Stay-Puft man.
Phooey. I'm DONE.
I was REALLY unsure as to whether I being too prideful in the whole situation. DH CLEARLY thinks I'm overreacting (and has been nice as pie -- almost ingratiating) since I first gave him the cold shoulder (DH's translation: "Uh-oh, if she's mad AND quiet, she's plotting something"). Needless to say, although the man outweighs me by 160 pounds and is roughly half a foot taller than me, I've got him nervous. "Poor man" tossed and turned all night!
(BTW, he doesn't sleep on the couch when I'm mad -- that's too easy on him. He needs to be right next to me, worrying about what I MIGHT do once he falls asleep! He's a heavy sleeper -- and I'm not!
)And Hauling, saying that I agree with you on the whole "being nicer to family" thing (among so many others) would be a mere understatement. Home is a REFUGE. It's a sanctuary against the world. A place to feel safe, secure and loved -- especially valuable on days where everyone's ripped you a nice new one to go with the one you already had.
I swear the man's a loon, though. If someone even breathed a bad word about me, that booger would be up in arms, screaming to the high heavers. But he doesn't believe his own hype when it comes to how he acts sometimes.
But really, all that ranting aside, I just wanted to know if I was overreacting -- or being a "chick" about the whole thing. I didn't even see it so much as a ding on me personally or as a woman, as much as I did as it being an issue of integrity and professionalism.
Now, 'cause of ya'll's reactions, I see that while I might not be 100% right, I'm at least not 100% wrong. Thank you again, guys!!
And since I AM so pi$$ed off about the whole thing (really, he really did treat me like a monkey with an Etch-A-Sketch -- the people who work FOR him, he drives bonkers, too, so it's not just me) I'm not doing the d@mned thing. He can poop something out in Microsoft Paint for all I care. And he can get his patootie sued for copyright infringement of the Stay-Puft man.
Phooey. I'm DONE.
@haulingthescoreup wrote:
And as I have painstakingly explained to my own husband a number of times, saying that someone is acting like a jerk isn't the same thing as saying that they are a jerk.
Yeesh. I have TRIED that. Don't work. The man's got a never-used psych degree and knows all the "tricks" (IHO, it's not good communication skills, it's a trick).
I swear, I love that man to pure foolishness, and I feel like an awful wife and person for spouting off here about him (thank goodness that his urge to read the forums happens far and few between), but this last go, I really wanted to wring his neck like a dirty dishcloth.
He's really a good guy, he really is. And I am damned lucky to have him. And I know he loves me to pieces. But sometimes ... to the frickin' moon, Eric. To the frickin' MOON!!
Again, I'm sorry to rant like a crazy woman on crack. I know I'm not the only person to deal with a pig-headed man. And ya'll are just being so sweet and supportive. I really wish I could just reach right through the monitor and give ya'll a big ol hug for just being so sweet.
Damned one-way monitor.
MojaveMoon wrote:no problem, venting is what's helped a family member and me so much with coping with my father's "brutal honesty". Your question was funny because, yes, he was an officer. At one point I finally had the question in my mind, how much of this is my father's innate personality and how much is the by-product of the military ? Besides the brutal honesty, something else that sometimes made me wonder about the impact the military had on him is that sometimes a dialogue with him is like a dialogue with a doctor -- a conversation must have a purpose, must be concise, and, if there's a problem, must clearly and quickly specify the situation and the resolution you're seeking.
OMGosh!! He's an ex-officer, too!! I think we've hit something, here!!
Yep, DH is like that, too, with conversations -- unless it's on a topic HE likes. Lorda-mercy! I've been an avid quilter and home-sewer for over 15 years and if I happen to mention the "Q" or "S" word, his eyes glaze over and he turns up the TV volume. But that man could talk for YEARS about scuba diving (whoops! It's SCUBA, sorry), planes, boats, diving, the Keys ... you get the picture. :/
But that's okay ... that means he isn't listening when I tell him how much I spent on fabric at JoAnn's Fabric or my local quilt shop.
In all seriousness, though, I really do think that's what did it. By his own accounts, before he entered the military (he went to military school, BTW), he was a "screw-up" and a "hippie" (how that's a BAD thing, I dunno) and the military "straightened him out" and made him a "man."
I talked to some of his childhood friends (before he went to OTC) and they told me he actually used to blush! Can you imagine??!! That man has had the gall to try to poop in front of me (knowing I'd run out of the bathroom so he could laugh at me) and he NEVER blushed ONCE.
Oooh! Also, he's second generation officer. His dad was in the service, too (served in the Korean War, as a matter of fact). Does that by any chance fit yours, too? I'm just thinking that maybe, maybe, it's kind of ingrained from childhood, too, somehow. I dunno.
Think the gubmint would pay for a study?
