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When your parenting skills just become abusive

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LShawn08
Frequent Contributor

When your parenting skills just become abusive

This will be a news clipping, when she kills one of them.

Imagine a mother or parent in general and you tell your 12 year old daughter to make sure to put away the bleach before she goes to sleep.

This little girl forgets as she has been cleaning all night and has fallen asleep. Two or three hours later this child is woken up by screaming from her mother. "Why didn't you put away the bleach?!" The mother has knocked over the bottle of bleach, as she went to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

And as soon as she screams this from the top of her lungs. This child is terrified. "My baby could have gotten into this!" The mother screams and she didn't care that it was just a accident. As soon as she is done screaming, she grabs a extension cord,

( ya know one of those cords that you use to make short cords liner so they can reach outlets.)

And she hits this child as hard as she can across her arms and back and legs. She is done letting out all of her rage for the spilled bleach out and she goes back to bed. Leaving this child wincing in pain and watching her skin welt up and the long gash on her leg bleed everywhere.

This child wipes her bruised skin down with alcohol and wraps her long gash up with toilet paper. She only does this after she cleans up the alcohol of course, the mother could care less about the fact her child is wincing in pain and bleeding and crying.

The little girl goes to bed holding her bloody ankle wrap and gets up in the morning, wraps her ankle again with clean toilet paper and goes to school and no one is the wiser.

This is one of many moments of terror. People say honor thy mother and father. Could you even after that?
Starting Score:TU:791(Dec3), EX:783, EQ:000
Current Score: TU:786(Aug9), EX:776, EQ:782 (Aug8)
Goal Score:820 across all boards






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Message 1 of 13
12 REPLIES 12
Gunnar419
Valued Contributor

Re: When your parenting skills just become abusive

That was agonizing just to read. Is this a child you know is suffering NOW? Can you do anything to intervene? This certainly meets any legal and moral definition of abuse and should be stopped.

 

Message 2 of 13
KaLin
Administrator Emeritus

Re: When your parenting skills just become abusive

You also need to check your State reporting requirements.  In some states (mine, for example), failure to report an act of child abuse makes you just as guilty as the abuser and you can also be arrested as an accessory to the fact.

Message 3 of 13
bdhu2001
Valued Contributor

Re: When your parenting skills just become abusive

First of all let me state there are no parenting skills envolved in the scenario you provided; it is simply child abuse.  If it's a real situation, report it to "child protective services."

Original Mortgage maturity Sept 2044; Refi maturity Dec 2030
Starting Score: EX 751 EQ 720 TU 737 on 4/9/14
Current Score: EX 849 EQ 835 TU 843
Goal Score: 850


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Message 4 of 13
Carrie_in_Pa
Established Member

Re: When your parenting skills just become abusive

I wouldn't think twice about picking up a phone and reporting someone like that.

 

My mother is a foster parent and i am with foster chidren on an almost daily basis. It's amazing how much abuse is allowed to happen to children before someone picks up a phone and makes an anonymous call. You don't have to leave your personal information. I am not aware of any state that gives the parent information about who made the call.

 

Make the call and let a child protective employee do an investigation.


Starting Score: 382 - 418 (2005) -- Current Score: 628 (TU08) -- 661 (Beacon 5.0) -- Goal Score: 750+
Into the Garden 6-15-2014 -- Digging in the dirt until 6-2015
Message 5 of 13
Carrie_in_Pa
Established Member

Re: When your parenting skills just become abusive


@KaLin wrote:

You also need to check your State reporting requirements.  In some states (mine, for example), failure to report an act of child abuse makes you just as guilty as the abuser and you can also be arrested as an accessory to the fact.


I wish that was how it worked everywhere !!!


Starting Score: 382 - 418 (2005) -- Current Score: 628 (TU08) -- 661 (Beacon 5.0) -- Goal Score: 750+
Into the Garden 6-15-2014 -- Digging in the dirt until 6-2015
Message 6 of 13
bdhu2001
Valued Contributor

Re: When your parenting skills just become abusive


@Carrie_in_Pa wrote:

@KaLin wrote:

You also need to check your State reporting requirements.  In some states (mine, for example), failure to report an act of child abuse makes you just as guilty as the abuser and you can also be arrested as an accessory to the fact.


I wish that was how it worked everywhere !!!


That's how it works in most states.  I was a manager over protective services and we had meetings with other states and best practices.  There's usually a number where you can leave an anonymous tip, because protection of children is vital & you don't want to wait until after a death.  Unfortunately, some people use the numbers maliciously to get back at an ex, neighbor, or friend.  Thereby, stretching limited resources to investigate false claims while other children die due to the inability of protective services to get to all the legitimate cases when the fake flood the system.

 

In terms of legally being as guilty  as the abuser, that's usually mandated reporters or other adults living in the home.

Original Mortgage maturity Sept 2044; Refi maturity Dec 2030
Starting Score: EX 751 EQ 720 TU 737 on 4/9/14
Current Score: EX 849 EQ 835 TU 843
Goal Score: 850


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Message 7 of 13
Carrie_in_Pa
Established Member

Re: When your parenting skills just become abusive


@bdhu2001 wrote:

@Carrie_in_Pa wrote:

@KaLin wrote:

You also need to check your State reporting requirements.  In some states (mine, for example), failure to report an act of child abuse makes you just as guilty as the abuser and you can also be arrested as an accessory to the fact.


I wish that was how it worked everywhere !!!


That's how it works in most states.  I was a manager over protective services and we had meetings with other states and best practices.  There's usually a number where you can leave an anonymous tip, because protection of children is vital & you don't want to wait until after a death.  Unfortunately, some people use the numbers maliciously to get back at an ex, neighbor, or friend.  Thereby, stretching limited resources to investigate false claims while other children die due to the inability of protective services to get to all the legitimate cases when the fake flood the system.

 

In terms of legally being as guilty  as the abuser, that's usually mandated reporters or other adults living in the home.


OMG that's the truth. I live in a small town where some people feel the need to report people like it's a punishment. It's way too common for people to be falsely reported and it wastes the time of caseworkers. I' ve actually been "reported" several times and every time i open my door, answer everything they want to know, etc. and then i thank them. Let them get their job done ASAP so they can move along to where they are needed.

 

Life has been easier since i now always keep current child abuse and criminal clearances.


Starting Score: 382 - 418 (2005) -- Current Score: 628 (TU08) -- 661 (Beacon 5.0) -- Goal Score: 750+
Into the Garden 6-15-2014 -- Digging in the dirt until 6-2015
Message 8 of 13
kingkai1990
Contributor

Re: When your parenting skills just become abusive

My stepdad is from the South and this seems to be very common amongst his friends/family. Or go pull a switch from the tree (and it better be the thickest one). Any infraction is considered ''extreme disrespect'' and is subject that kind of punishment.  Note that I'm not saying all people from the south do this or even most. But I know several people that talk about incidents similar to this....

Message 9 of 13
Kirmie2010
Established Contributor

Re: When your parenting skills just become abusive

May catch some flak but that does not seem that bad to me.  She got whipped with a cord, thats not that bad.  Bleeding from a whip is a little extreme but its most likely on surface and no permanent injury, she didnt belittle or talk down in the story which is what I consider abuse.  She freaked out because she asked her daughter to do something and she didnt, possibly causing major harm to an infant in the house because she forgot.  The mom just was pissed off the kid didnt listen.  

 

I dont hit my kids, never will and have never done so.  That being said, I got the crap kicked out of me growing up.  You backtalk to your mom?  Grab a spatula and shes gonna break it on you or any kind of swingable object.  Backtalk to your mom and did it again after you got smacked?  Well then your dad is going to be told when he gets up and he doesnt need a spatula Smiley Tongue   I actually believe its a good thing.  Without consequence for our actions I believe you dont grow up right.   Kids these days have zero to no consequence for anything they do.  I have a hard time not yelling at my daughters boyfriends to get out of the house when they come over.  Theres no respect at all and they do what they want.

 

Theres a huge leap from hitting your kid for not listening to abusing and killing a child.  To me this falls far short of abuse.  Shes probably fed, not locked in a cage or a closet not beaten daily for NO reason at all.  She got spanked because she didnt listen.

Message 10 of 13
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