Please HELP Single Mom...Daughter needs help paying for college!!

[Teri2801]

Thanks everyone for your wonderful advice. I was very afraid that the consensus from you all was going to be I should have saved and made better provisions for my children to go to college.  You all have provided great solutions and helped me release a lot of guilt I’ve been feeling over this situation.  

Milkshakes: Congrats on successfully earning your degree from UCLA. Your post brought tears to my eyes - especially when you mentioned your mom doing everything she could for you and your siblings (thanks for sharing).  I tend to keep the household finances a secret so my kids don’t worry. I will definitely have a “real” conversation with them about the household budget and expenses – especially my past credit failures.  It’s time that my family learns how to save money.  

It means a lot to me that you all took the time to reply to my post. Once again, thank you all so much for your invaluable advice.

[milkshakes]

Teri: the pleasure's all mine. just glad i can help provide some insight (or one side of the story, at the very least). my mom's the same way -- it was only later that she discovered that not disclosing our financial situation was inhibiting us. I think the transparency has definitely empowered us, made us more aware of our spending habits (especially the truly capricious ones), appreciate the value of money, and ultimately brought us closer as a family. it's definitely a touchy and difficult subject, as i do believe it's true that money can bring or break a family. but it's a necessary conversation. 

best of luck with your situation and whatever path your daughter and you decide to pursue!

[Anonymous]

I did not qualify for FAFSA, and I am footing my entire college bill myself.  It was my grandparents who were my savior to allow me to keep going to college when I wasn't able to get a loan with my parents co-signing.  Even then, one of my loans was a sallie mae at 10.25%.  That one is long gone now.  I worked summers and breaks to provide spending money throughout the school year.  My parents did help with some fuel money here and there.  The only downfall for me at this point is indeed that large sum of debt.  I am living at home still 3 years after graduation....   but the understanding is that I save the money I would be paying in rent, and apply to loans.  For a deal like this.. I may never move out.  (sarcasm).  In all seriousness I live a very simplistic life in hopes of tackling the debt to a managable amount so I can move on.  I wish you luck!

[fezwhy]

My dad and I had the talk about college when I turned 18. We had a long talk about him being really sorry that he couldn't help me financially with college. However he provided me with a roof over my head and a hot meal. For that I am extremely grateful. He taught me everything I know about making a budget and sticking to it. I know many kids out of college that took out extra loans to buy material things. A close friend of mine bought a huge tv and surround sound. I had no idea what I wanted to do for a degree so I worked for 3 years then went to school. While in school full time I worked 40 hours a week. I put 25,000 in savings. I paid my tuition as I went to school. When I graduated I had 0 debts or loans. Now I have an 8 year old that I'm slowly teaching him things. I decided I am putting away 100 dollars a month for college. It's not much but it's all I can afford. This money will only be used for books and tuition. It will be up to him to get a part time job and get loans to pay for the rest. I highly recommend a community college for generals. In my area a 4 year college is almost double the amount per credit of a community college.

[tjeff]

College graduate and college employee. Regardless of a parent's income/credit, student loans can always be put in your daughter's name. My advice, go and speak with the financial aid advisor. they can give you an estimate of how much she is eligible for (I think about 5000 per semester). She pobably will have to stay at home instead of on campus because that usually tacks on another 5000 per semester to her tuition. Let me know if you have any other questions. Good luck to you and your daughter. 

[Teri2801]

Everyone’s advice is extremely helpful and I am very grateful to all of you.  My daughter chose to attend a school out of state.  She will be attending Hofsta in the fall. They offered her the most in financial aid.  I’m excited and worried at the same time.  She has her mind set on attending school out of state and won’t consider community college.  I’m praying everything goes smoothly. 

Thank you all for your well wishes and advice!

[gh17]

Good to hear!

In my opinion, you shouldn't make someone go to technical school or community college if they don't want to.  Yes, there are a lot of savings there, and yes, you can transfer out later and end up with a a four year degree.  However, there are a lot of negatives too.  First of all, the reality is that the education is subpar.  If the student will be spending her first two years of college taking standard math and writing classes, then in some cases it might be comparable.  But a lot of strong students already have AP credits for that sort of thing.  And not all schools organize their curriculum such that the first two years are gen ed.  I took a ton of classes for my major in my first two years that would not have been available in community college, and it would have been hard to catch up.  Community colleges do not have all the opportunities available at strong four year institutions.  There's also the fact that many of them have low graduation rates, and you have to be extra motivated to succeed in that environment.  There are definitely cases where community college can be a good choice - if you haven't chosen a major yet, if you know that the school you want ultimately want to attend has a curriculum in which the first two years are a lot of gen ed requirements, and sometimes if you're tight for money.  But it's far from a standard recommendation I'd give everyone, especially for a particularly strong student.

In this sort of situation, I'd usually recommend talking with your child and explaining your financial situation.  You could lay out what you can and cannot afford, but also explain to her that other options are available - but they might require her taking out a significant amount of student loans and seeking out scholarship opportunities.  For a lot of people, this is worth it.  I don't regret my student loans at all.

Anyway, I know you already reached your solution, but I just wanted to throw in my two cents for anyone else in a similar circumstance.

[BluePoodle]

What is her SAT or ACT scores? If her scores are high enough, there are many universities out there that will offer her a full scholarship or partial. I am going to PM you a forum website that has a lot of great info to research about schools that offer this.  If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.